


Her Turn

by lechathomme



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Not for the whole time though, Retelling, Twinswap, blind! lup, long fic, longfic, twinswap AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-05-06 07:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14636550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lechathomme/pseuds/lechathomme
Summary: After being trapped in cave for who knows how long, Lup encounters a pair of adventurers.  Will they help her find who she's been looking for?Basically, the entire podcast, but Lup and Taako essentially switch places (with some adjustments).SPOILERS





	1. Dazed and Confused

                  "Eughh..." The elven woman groaned.  Her head was pounding, her back was burning, and her eyes... weren't working?  She blinked in confusion and sat up, flinching at the pain that shot across her spine.  Where was she?  Was it really so dark that even her darkvision wasn't working?  No, no, that couldn't be it.  Where was she anyway?  

                  Lup took a second to clear her head.  She was... in a cave.  And... she was bleeding because... she had just been attacked by a dwarf... who had stolen...  _something_ from her.  And she was blind  _because_... there was a flash of light that came from...  _somewhere_.  She leaned her head back, feeling dizzy and... confused.  Why was she even  _here_?  Where was she before?  What was she trying to  _do_?  And just  _what_ was she supposed to do about her wounds? Ugh, of all the times to not know any healing spells.

               Spells!  That's right, she was a witch!  Now, just  _where_ was her... staff... umbrella?  Whatever.  Lup pushed herself onto all fours and groped blindly in the darkness for her... umbrastaff.  She may not know how to heal herself, but at least with magic, she wouldn't be defenseless.  After grabbing nothing but handfuls  of dirt, she was met with the feeling of smooth silk wrapped around thick, sturdy wires.   _Hah!_ , she thought as she weakly pulled herself up, leaning her weight upon her umbrella.

              She couldn't see, so, without moving anywhere, she did the next best thing.  Used her other senses.  It was cold and wet.  She inhaled deeply.  It smelled dank and musty.  Yes, exactly what she expected a cave to smell like.  Lup sighed, having gained no new information.  She kicked at the ground in frustration.  It was so cold and her wounds burned so much and she was just so confused and- she stopped as her foot made contact with a small stone, sending it in some direction that sounded a 'ping' sound of hitting metal.   Oh.  Right!  Listening!  Lup took another deep breath and focused her hearing, desperately searching for some kind of noise to help orient her.  After only a few seconds of listening, she was met with the sound of rushing water.  Water!  She  _was_ pretty thirsty.  And cleaning out her injuries would probably help her too.  Just how long had she been in this cave anyway?  She sighed and wrapped her robes tighter around her before setting out towards the source of the water, walking slowly.

             As Lup walked further and further through the cave, she tried to remember more of the details of why she was where she was and what she was doing and why.  As she was trying in vain to clarify her fuzzy memories, something came to her.  She was looking for something, no, some _o_ _n_ _e._ Her train of thought was then suddenly interrupted by herself mistepping straight into a large pool of water.

                      She panicked.

              Lup hit the cool liquid, dropping her umbrastaff in surprise behind her as she slipped in.  Now, normally, walking into a pool was no problem.  She could swim, and the water didn't feel thick or dirty.  But she was blind and had no way to tell what direction she was facing.  Lup thrashed frantically around, trying to grasp something,  _anythin_ g that could bring her above the pool that threatened to drown her.  She pushed against a stone pillar, hurting her leg in the process, and dragged herself back to the shore, near her umbrastaff.  Despite her almost near death experience, she felt... refreshed.   Her wounds certainly hadn't healed, but still, she felt somewhat refreshed.  Lup grabbed for her umbrastaff.  Something was strange about this water.  And just as she aimed her staff towards the basin and spoke the words to cast detect magic, she was silenced by a cloud of spores.  Lup fell back, coughing.  Great.  Not only could she not see anything, but it would seem as though she can't say anything now either.  At least, not while she was by the water.  She sighed and leaned over the water, cupping her hands to take a drink.  If she can't do anything else, she might as well meditate.  Lup yawned, now that she thought about it, she  _was_ actually pretty tired.  Unable to do any more in her current condition, the elf laid on her back along the surprisingly comfortable fungus and fell into a deep meditative state.


	2. Familiar Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup's quiet life is suddenly interrupted.

               Several months had passed since Lup had woken up.  At least, she thought it had been months.  It's kind of hard to tell the passage of time in a cave.  During that time, her wounds had closed up, but her eyesight remained dark.  She learned to get around, though.  To compensate for her newfound blindness, her hearing had become more sensitive.  And whenever water dripped into pool, she could hear it ripple all throughout the cave, and she had made landmarks to map out the area in her head.  All in all, the cave wasn't too bad of a place to call home.  There was a nearby tunnel that produced quite an unfortunate squelching sound, though.  And that was when Lup was glad she couldn't see where she was.

                A steep downside to her living arrangement, however, was the food.  She knew how to cook, and she wasn't too bad at it either.  Unfortunately, she had virtually no way to start a fire manually.  She had tried early on to cast a spell to conjure a small cooking fire, but because she couldn't see what she was doing, that had ended up obliterating her pile of fungi for the night.  For the first few months Lup had been in the cave, she had eaten nothing but raw mushrooms, with the exception of a few mediocre transmutations.  They didn't always work, but when they did, she sure was thankful for it, and whoever the hell it was that taught her how to do that.  

             Lup had noticed that she seemed to be forgetting a lot of things.  At first, she had just assumed that she was fatigued or something.  Her current theories were between some strange fungal memory loss and something she called 'Cave Madness'.  All she could remember was that she was looking for someone important.  She didn't know who and she didn't know why, but if it wasn't important, then why would she have even remembered those details at all?

            She had also noticed that she was remembering a lot of things, too.  Like, she remembered that she was stuck in an abandoned mine.  So the chance of anyone just waltzing in to help, harm, or just  _talk_ to her was... pretty low.  

             What seemed to bother Lup the most was the isolation of the whole ordeal.  She didn't remember  being an incredibly social person, but that kind of uninterrupted silence and seclusion could get to anyone.  Sure, it was great time to work on spells and find the best mushroom patches and just hang out, but there was more to life than just kicking it in a cave.

             So you can imagine her surprise when she heard voices.  

            Lup reflexively opened her eyes, despite their usefulness being long gone, and turned her head towards the area she had affectionately named 'The Jack-Off Tunnel'.  Lup stood up and strained her ears in that direction, desperately trying to listen over the squelching noises.  Yes, that was absolutely a voice.  Her ears perked up when she heard another voice respond to the first.  She smiled,  _finally_ , she wouldn't be alone!  Then her face dropped.  She wouldn't be alone.  Lup listened down the tunnel again.  By the sound of their footsteps, it seemed like whoever was coming still had some distance to go.  She grabbed her umbrastaff and ran, hiding in a close passage, silent and still enough to hear and intervene,  if necessary, but far away enough to not be seen or heard.

          Lup pressed herself into what she assumed to be a shadowy place and practically held her breath.  While she waited she made a plan.  If they sounded nice, she wouldn't attack.  If they didn't, she would attack.  If they were dwarves, well... she'd have to investigate a bit.  Then a thought popped into her head.  What if they were looking for  _her_?  Well, she'd just have to wing it then. 

            "EUGH."  A deep voice spoke, breaking her out of her thoughts.  "Just how LONG was that tunnel!?"  The speaker was still too far away to identify clearly, but if she had to guess, Lup would say the voice belonged to an adult man.  "Ehh, it was really more of a canyon than a tunnel, wasn't it?"  An older, gruffer voice spoke back.  "Whatever.  I have had  _more_  than enough splooching to last a lifetime, let alone a- WOAH, LOOK AT THESE MUSHRO-"  The man was interrupted by a cloud of spores, sending him into a coughing fit.  A drop of water fell from a stalactite, sending ripples throughout the cave, and providing enough sound for Lup to get a sense of his size.  He was tall and muscular, human, she guessed.  "Bless you."  "Shhhh!" The human whispered, and then spoke louder again, "Merle, I think there's something with these mushrooms!"  He then fell into another coughing fit.  Lup tensed up when she heard a wet noise come from above.  Another drop fell into the water and a slight splorching noise sounded from the cave ceiling, giving her all the information she needed.

          Lup had never really had that much trouble with the ochre jellies.  Neither bothered the other, and so they coexisted.  She decided that she would listen to their battle, and wait for the turnout.  "Eugh, does this cave have, like, an attic?" the human whispered.  Lup sighed internally.  The man's competence seemed questionable.  At least Merle seemed somewhat compe-  "Hey, Magnus, are those new boots?"  Goddammit.  Well, at least she had names now.  "They are, thank you!  I crafted them while you were napping!"  "Yeah, they look really good!  And uh... kind of  _familiar_."  The man, Magnus, gasped in an exaggerated manner, perhaps accidentally.  "Merle!  Are you accusing me of looting your dead cousins?"  Lup grinned.  She probably would have done that too.  Magnus continued, still with an unconvincing tone. "Why, Merle!  I'm surprised at you, after all this time!"  He stopped forward, probably to continue his monologue, when he was silenced by a loud schlorp as an ochre jelly fell directly where he had just been standing.

           "Heeey~!"  Magnus stage whispered.  "Have you come to be our gooshy buddy?"  Lup's ears twitched as she heard a blade of some sort be unsheathed.  Then she heard a sound like a knife being thrown into mud.  Oh no.  He didn't just... try to  _cut_  the jelly, did he?  "WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?" Merle loudly whispered at his companion.  "WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO, SHOOT IT WITH AN ARROW!?"  "WELL, THAT WOULDN'T HAVE CUT IT IN HALF"  "...oh."  Lup lowered her ears and leaned her head back.  Well, now the men had two jellies to deal with.  Was she gonna have to step in here?  She didn't wanna give herself away, but these two had... a less than ideal competent battle strategy.  Lup crossed her umbrastaff across her chest, readying herself in case she needed to fight.  She then heard the sound of an arrow being fired... directly into the water.  And then she heard the jelly successfully land an attack.  She began to charge a spell.  There was a hiss and some warm goo and fungus splattered on her.  Fire?  Was one of them a magic user?  Lup heard a hard, wet, slap, followed by a large splash, like one of them had launched the jelly into the pool.  "WHOOOO!!!"  Merle celebrated, and then began coughing.  Magnus then chimed in, "That's how we do!", and then began coughing.  Merle stopped to remind his companion, "Wait, stop talking!" before coughing again.  Lup pressed her palm against her forehead in disbelief.  "We have to keep it down, the fungus is reacting to the sound of our voice!"  In the midst of their coughing, Lup noticed, the two had seemed to have lost track of the other remaining jelly, which she could hear resting directly above them, threatening to fall.  She tensed up, unsure of what to do.  As she heard the jelly begin to unpeel itself from the ceiling, she waited until another drop of water fell, allowing her to pinpoint its position, and shot a ray of frost at the jelly, freezing it solid with ease.  The frozen jelly fell, crashing and shattering against a large, sharp blade belonging to the human.

               Lup heard the two men fall silent.  "Who's there!?"  Magnus asked, his voice muffled, like he was holding something over his mouth.  She sighed and walked out slowly, her hands slightly raised and her face partially covered by the hood of her robes.  "Who are you?"  His voice remained stern, untrusting.  This provided Lup with enough sound to get a read on Merle, who was significantly shorter than Magnus.  Dwarven, probably.  Eugh.  "I should be asking the two of you that."  Lup replied, her voice raspy  and quiet from disuse.  "It's rather rude to just barge into a lady's cave, you know."  " _Your_  cave?"  Merle asked.  Magnus lowered his weapon.  "Oh!  Sorry.  We're just here for a job...  Think you can help us?"  He sounded far less unsure of her now.  "What exactly... does this job entail?"  "Okay, so-" he coughed, apparently forgetting the deal with the mushrooms yet  _again_.  Lup sighed, "Oh my god, literally just go over there, where you burned the 'shrooms away."  "Oh!  Yeah, that's probably a smart idea."  

             The three traveled over to the cleared ground, now able to speak at a regular volume.  Merle made a displeased noise, "The hell even are these things?"  "Lupstools."   She deadpanned before turning towards Magnus.  "So about that job?"  "Yeah!  Merle?"  Magnus, seeming to be somewhat easily distracted, invited Merle to explain.  He sighed, "Yeah, sure, I guess.  Uh, let's see... we were making a delivery and our employers got kidnapped by some gerblins and... now we're here, I guess.  I miss anything?"  "I mean, that's  _pretty much_  it.  Anyway, uh, you.  Elven woman.  Wanna help us out with this cave?  You own the place, so you'd probably be a pretty big help.  And you can magic stuff!  Which our party is currently... lacking."  "Hey!"  Merle objected, "I have magic."  "Merle, we've been adventuring together for months now.  Not once have you healed me.  Not  _once_."  "Well, I have other things to offer!"  "You're a cleric!  That's like your thing!  If we had someone else to do offensive magic, you can probably do more cleric stuff!  Whatever,"  Magnus turned his attention back to Lup.  "So?  You'd get paid!"  

              Lup  took a second to pretend to consider the offer.  She'd been trying to get out of this damn cave for who knows how long.  And not only did she now have fighters to escort her, but she was gonna get paid for it too?  Hell yeah!  "Yeah, alright.  You boys seemed like you could use the help anyway."  "Yeah!"  Magnus cheered.  "Wait, what?"  Lup snickered, "If you two need to rest before we go, go ahead.  It won't heal you, but the water and mushrooms are pretty refreshing."  

              Magnus and Merle chose to take her up on her offer.  By the sound of it, Merle was trying to do something with the mushrooms that sounded an awful lot like flirting and Magnus was trying damn hard to eat the stone, realizing that it was the stone and not the water that held invigorating power.  Lup, meanwhile, was hanging out on the edge of the pool, near where the jelly was thrown in.  She jumped back and made a noise of surprise and confusion when something bobbed up against her leg.  What the hell??  Nothing lived in the water!!  Her newfound companions rushed over to her upon hearing her.  

             "Hey, what's-  NUNDROOOOOOOOO!!!"  Merle wailed, providing Lup with more than enough sound to realize a dwarven corpse had bumped against her.  Now that she thought about it, the jellies did sound a bit heavier than usual.  Magnus turned Merle away and leaned down to whisper to Lup, "Check his boots, these dwarves tend to have cool shit." before leading Merle back towards the barren area.  Once they sounded far away enough, Lup did what Lup did best.  She looted a corpse.  The boots were nothing special, and they felt too big for her anyway.  He did have a rucksack, though.  She picked through it, slowly so as not to attract any attention her way.  It was full of mining supplies, mostly, and a lockbox, containing, from the sound and feel of it, about three hundred gold pieces.  Hell yeah!  She hadn't even left the cave and she already made some cash!  She grabbed a small rusted key, which was also in the lockbox, and pushed the body back into the water.  

            "Oh, hey!"  Magnus greeted Lup  as she walked back.  "I think we're good to go now.  Where to?"  Lup raised the key up.  "A key!"  "Cool!"  Magnus exclaimed.  "Where does it go?"  Well, shit.  If that wasn't a good question, she didn't know what was.  Despite having lived here for quite some time, Lup actually didn't have that great of an idea of her surroundings.  And so she did one of the other things she did best.  She pretended she knew what she was talking about and made up her plan on the spot.  "Well, what do you think?  The answer's pretty obvious, so I want to make sure I won't be traveling with complete idiots here."  Merle spoke up after a second, "Is it... for that elevator over there?"  Lup simply handed him the key in response.  "Why don't you go check?"  Merle sighed and walked over towards the elevator.  Lup pulled Magnus down to whisper, "The boots fucking sucked, by the way."  "Aw, what?"  Lup was distracted by a mechanical sound.  Merle gloated, "Aw yeah!  How's that for complete idiot!?"  Lup nodded, "Congratulations, you know what keys do."  So apparently there was an elevator in this place?  Lup really wished she had discovered that earlier.  The three got into the elevator and waited for it's ride to complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where are our heroes off to now? Well, if you've listened past episode 2, you should be able to guess pretty easily. Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	3. Cave Pals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup and her Cave Pals encounter an obstacle with a crossbow.

             Lup leaned back, resting her weight against the elevator wall. "So..." Magnus started, trying to start a conversation with Lup. "What?" "So, like, what's your- oh shit, we didn't introduce ourselves! I'm Magnus Burnsides!" "Merle Highchurch." "Lup." There was a slight pause. "There a last name with that?" Merle asked. She stopped for a second. If she ever did have a last name, she sure as hell couldn't remember what it was. "Lup, two U's." "Alright, Cave Lady. How'd you become Lady of the Cave?" "I don't know, it just kinda happened." Magnus chimed in, "So, are we talking like a spur of the moment thing or a destiny thing or like a drunken night type of thing, or..."  "Ummm, I just kinda woke up here, so third option is closest, I guess.  I must've gotten pretty damn drunk, though.  I got, like, super fucked up in a fight or something.  I don't really remember."  

              The elevator stopped, having reached its destination.  The trio stepped out and began to make their way down the tunnel.  "So what did you do before the cave gig?"  Merle asked.  "I, uh, um.  I don't... I don't know.  I don't really... remember a whole lot before that."  She shook her head.  "Whatever, it doesn't really bother me all that much.  So, you boys said your employer got kidnapped?"  Merle made a sound as though he had completely forgotten about that.  "Oh yeah!  Some gerblins sold him to some guy... Black Spider?"  "What, like an actual spider?" Lup asked.  "Oh, fuck, I hope not."  Magnus sounded off put by the very thought.  

               Lup listened for the end of the passage.  Judging by the way the conversation echoed, it sounded like it would take at least a few days.  She groaned, not having planned to spend this much time with these two.  Well, it looked like she'd just have to tough out the next few days and hang out with her new cave pals.  

 

===================================================

             "So, Lup."  Magnus broke the silence after a few hours.  "Hm?"  "What's with the umbrella?  I'm no cave expert, but it seems like you don't get a whole lot of rain in here."  "It's an umbrastaff, my dude."  "A  _what_ -"  "A magic umbrella.  I use this instead of a wand."  "It's pretty cool!  Where'd you even get something like that?"  "I... don't remember."

 

             The next time someone spoke, it was Merle.  "So, uh, Lup."  "Yeah?"  "Now, you said you don't really remember a lot about before this cave, right?"  "Yes?"  "Well, I think I might have an idea on how to help you with that, kind of."  Lup raised her eyebrows, intrigued.  "Oh?"  Magnus interjected, "Merle, I swear, this has never worked for you ever."  Merle shushed him, "Tell me, Lup.  Have you heard the good word of Marthammor Duin today?"  "I- what?"  "Because I know that sometimes, when I have problems, I just relax and talk it out, and lemme tell ya, the feeling of knowing your soul is safe and-"  "No, wait, hold up a second, are you fucking witnessing me right now?"  "Dammit."  Lup dropped her ears in agitation and amusement.  "Yeah, thanks, but no."

 

              The next few days passed like this.  Someone would say something, a short conversation would take place, and then it was back to silence.  Lup had just tuned out most of it, she wasn't really all that concerned with getting to know her fellow party members right now.  Or at all, really.  Besides, what were the odds she'd ever even meet them again after this?

 

  ===================================================  

 

             After what had to have been an eternity, they finally reached the end of the tunnel.  The three entered a strange room.  Lup realized she had absolutely no idea where they were or that this room even existed.  She then heard the sound of a door being kicked open.  "Hey!"  Magnus objected.  "I do the kicking around here."  A woman's voice sounded, shocked and confused.  "Oh, um, hi, uh.  I, uh.."  Merle elbowed Magnus.  "Oh! Right.  Hail and well met!"   "ah- shit.  Um, give me one second I just... I can't- I'm just trying to figure this out."  "Is it a math problem?"   The woman paused.  "Uh, no, I- I just- I don't have a lot of time here.  I'm just, look, I don't know how you three can  _be_  here right now, so, um, I'm just trying to decide whether or not I should kill you  _now_  or..."  "Have you heard the word of Marthammor Duin today?"

            Lup kicked Merle.  She could put up with a lot of shit, but trying to convert their potential killer is not one of those things.  

             The woman paused again.  "Um, no thank you, I'm spoken for.  Uhh, okay look.  You seem like nice people-"  "Thank you!"  Magnus cut her off.  "Uh, yeah, so, I'm going to ask you a question-"  "Is it a riddle?"  "It- it might be."  "I love riddles."  "Great!"  Lup had a feeling that she and the woman had very similar feelings about the two men at the moment.  

              The woman inhaled, "Okay.  Are you three here for the ######*####*########?"  Now even Lup was confused.  "Say again, hun?"  Merle clapped his hands together.  "Oh!  I got this.  We are not kkkkkkkkkrrkckrl hunters."  The woman sighed in apparent relief.  "Okay, I just heard some crackling noises, which tells me all I need to know.  Alright, so you're not here for the #######*####*########, which is  _great_  news for me!  But, I-uh, I cannot have you three getting in my way, so here's my solution, and I think you'll find it very equitable.  I am  _not_  going to shoot you with my giant crossbow."  Lup's companions sighed in relief.  Lup, however, had had no idea that the woman even had a crossbow.  "Instead," the woman shuffled a bit and Lup heard a click, followed by a loud, mechanical crash.

              Anything Lup might have heard was drowned out by the machinery.  She had a feeling that, even if her hearing  _wasn't_  hyper sensitive, it still would have been deafening.  The clattering and clanging of chains was almost too much to bear, she covered her ears and dropped to her knees, curling in on herself.  She desperately grabbed for her umbrastaff, about to cast a silencing spell when another loud crash made her jump and accidentally cast thunderwave instead.  Lup felt a burst of energy and air come her way, and assumed that she had thrown whatever was making that hellish cacophony back.  She covered her ears again, deciding to just let her other party members take care of this.  After a while, she heard a debilitating crunch, bringing the room to a now deafening silence.  "*** *** *** ****!?"  Someone spoke in her direction.  At least she thought it was speech.  She didn't know, her head was pounding.  "*** ***! ***!"  She curled in tighter.  This was all too much.  Everything was just so, just-  _too loud._ A firm hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality.  She slowly removed her hands.  "Lup!"  She took a breath to try to calm herself.  "...yeah?"  "Hey, are you okay!?"  Magnus asked, sounding genuinely concerned.  "I'm... I just need a minute.  Just... be quiet for a second..."  Magnus whispered something to Merle before walking towards what she assumed to be the wreckage of whatever they just fought.  After Lup's breathing had returned to normal and she had relaxed her shoulders, she felt Merle lay his hand on her back.  "You good to go?  I-uh, I don't mean to rush you, or anything, it's just that we're gonna have to boost each other over the next part.  But we can wait if you're not ready, it is  _your_  cave after all."  Lup exhaled and sat up.  "No, thank you, but I think I'm good now."  She flinched as she heard chains crash against each other in Magnus' direction.

               Merle helped Lup to her feet as Magnus rushed over to show off his new 'armor'.  Magnus practically pushed Lup up over the edge.  As she sat and waited for the other two, she began to think.  Her companions may be idiots, but they weren't malicious.  In fact, they were rather kind.  She huffed, starting to rethink her plans.  Maybe she wouldn't leave them?  After all, it's not like she really did have anything planned once she got out of here.  As far as she knew, there was nothing waiting out there for her.  And all she had to go on was a feeling that she was missing someone.  Her ears perked at her next thought.  What if she looked with the other two?  They were adventurers, right?  Besides, they could use each other's help.  With Lup's magic and competence and their functioning eyes and convenient career paths, they could be an unstoppable trio!  She nodded to herself.  Yes, she thought, once they get out of here, she would join their group, whether they liked her or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will Lup do? Vote now on your phones! (Don't actually, I already have the next chapter written.) Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	4. An Actual Spider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup and Co. run into a spider or two.

               The three walked through a door, which had been previously busted down by woman from earlier. Lup's ears twitched, and she heard the woman yell, "Uh, help!" through the telltale sounds of battle. Lup scoffed in disbelief. "Yeah, how about no!" The two men seemed to murmur in agreement. "I- really, I could really use a hand down here, come on!" Magnus sighed in reluctance, "Okay, fine!" and ran towards the battle. Merle grumbled, "Guess I'm following... Lup?" "Mm-mm!" She shook her head and turned her back to him and the battle. "Alright, see you, then." and he waddled off in the same direction. Lup perked her ears to listen in.

              She is met with a voice somewhat similar to hers, with the addition of an accent. "Oh, what a fantastic development! Ah! We have guests, dear, how exciting!" Which is weird enough that she decides to join the others in the room. The voice spoke again as she entered, "Oh, and a third guest, how exciting! We have even more guests, dear. We should make a place at the table for all of them." Magnus seemed surprisingly relaxed. "He seems nice!" The man spoke again, "Hello, hello, welcome to my cave!"

              The man was elven, no doubt. Lup knew it well enough just by sound. "I'd just like to say, it is _so_ great to meet someone else who speaks normally!" The man made a pleased sound, "Oh, I love your cadence, dear. Where are you from?" "New Elfington." Lup had no clue what she was saying or why she said that, but conversation just seemed to flow between the two elves. She took a minute to try to analyze the room, which sounded big and empty. She could faintly sense two other figures, though; the woman and a small, probably dwarven figure, both unmoving.

              "I suppose no introductions will be necessary." The elf spoke, "I would like to know who you are, though." Magnus replied, "Okay, so you would assume that introductions _are_ necessary." "I'm sorry, I don't need to be introduced, do I?" The man clarified, "My reputation precedes me. Also, my spider tabard." Lup shifted her weight to lean lazily on her staff. "I'm sorry, _who_ are you?" "The Black Spider!" He responded in a rather pleasant tone.

              Lup grinned, "I'm Lup. We're just here for the dwarf, you can do whatever you want with-" "Oh, your voice is like a song~!" Black Spider swooned. Lup smirked and cast mage hand, aiming for his face, and caressed him. He laughed, "My, this is a little bit forward." "Thanks, darling. Listen, we just want the dwarf. I don't care what you do with the woman." Magnus elbowed her at the last comment. "Oh, yeah, of course. You can take Gundren. Oh! But, I will be needing some more of his blood, though." Merle interjected, "No, that's not going to work for us." Magnus silenced him to ask, "Uh, how _much_ blood?" "Uh, about a pint. Pints? How much blood do dwarves have?" "More than you'd think!" Not wanting to think about the implications of Magnus' latest statement, Lup stepped back in. "Darling, I didn't catch your name. One more time?" "Black Spider. It's not my Christian name, though." Magnus lowered his voice and huddled towards Merle and Lup. "Guys, I got this! If we guess his name, he'll be banished!" Lup looked disapprovingly at him. "He's not Beetlejuice, Mags." "Oh."

               "I have to - I'm curious to ask, if you don't mind answering a few questions?" Black Spider piped up. "Uh, no pressure if you don't want to; I don't - I want you three to feel very comfortable here." "Oh, please, feel free!" "Uh, how in the fuck... do you know about this magical cave mine?" "Craigslist." Magnus responded, without hesitation. " I doubt that's true." Black Spider sighed, "Don't tell me, are you here also for the #######*####*########?" "I don't know, man," Lup took over again. "I've been kicking it in this cave for, like, an eternity and I just met these idiots, like, a day ago." "I'm just naturally drawn to helping my cousins." Merle defended.

                 Lup heard metal scrape gently against leather and Black Spider made a disappointed noise. "I... I see your friend's hand where his hip be at. And I don't -" Lup placed her hand on Magnus' arm as warning and glared at him before whispering, "Chill. I'm talking to him, and Merle wants to go help out that dwarf. There might be a peaceful way to sort this out." Magnus made a displeased whine and then replied, "I don't know, Lup. Gundren's got some pretty great boots." Lup rolled her eyes and pushed him away. "Uh, just wanna ask one more time 'cause I'm still not clear, what is your- what's your Christian name? I- Black Spider sounds formal." "It's Brian, darling!"  
                 Lup clapped her hands together, grateful to have been able to diffuse the situation. "Brian! Great! Just, one question, darling. Um, why is it we can't hear what it is you're saying?" Lup heard Brian shift, seemingly cheerful once again. "Oh, well that is a tricky one, isn't it? Well, you can't hear me because the ####*####**#######*###*###*########*##*###*######*##*#####*###*######*#######*###*#####." "Uh huh." Magnus agreed blankly. "And actually #*####*##*####*####*##*###*###*########*######*###*##." "Got it."

                "So, uh," Brian sounded reluctant. "I'm sorry darling," he turned towards Lup, "but it looks like this is where it ends." Before Lup could say anything, Magnus rushed towards the elf. "O-okay!" She sighed, frustrated. Looks like they were in for another fight. Her ears twitched as she struck the ground to scan the room. If they had to fight, they might as well get all the help they could get. Lup turned in the direction of the woman and cast a flame spell, burning her webbed bonds away. There was a thud as the woman hit the ground and then a short, stunned silence. "Uh, wow, thanks!"

                Lup heard a crash, a panicked noise from Magnus' direction, and then a dull thud as- oh. Yeah, okay. So they were doing this now. Using the sound of Merle's failed spell, she figured out that a large spider, about twice her size, had now entered the battle. Lup turned towards the, what she now recognized as, orcish woman.  Figuring she might as well do some reconnaissance while her partners beefed it, Lup asked the woman her name.  "Uh, my name is Killian, nice to meet you.  Can we do the spider stuff now?  Or, no, do you want to tell me your life story?  Is that what you want to do here with the double spider situation?"  Lup raised her umbrastaff.  "Hey, I can do a _lot_ worse than encasing you in webbing."  There was a crash from the spiders' direction and a shuffling came from Killian, followed by the familiar click of a button, followed by a deafening barrage of metal crashing against wood, bringing Lup to her knees again.   
   
             Fucking seriously!?  Can there just be one fight that doesn't debilitate her!?  She pressed her hands tighter against her head and there was a loud crash of splintering wood and bending metal.  She grabbed her staff and pointed in a direction, she didn't know where, and cast something.  Magic missile?  She heard Brian say something, she couldn't hear what, and she was blasted back with more magic missiles.  Lup blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a while! Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	5. The Resting Place of the Lady of the Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After killing a pesky spider, Lup comes across an eerily familar door, along with a fiery memory from her past.

             Lup awoke to the taste of a healing potion. She groaned, and opened her eyes to see- wait. She could see again??? Kind of, at least. Everything was blurry and dark, but she could make out figures. "Hey, are you okay!?" Lup looked up at Magnus, who was leaning over her with an empty bottle and what she thought was a concerned expression.  “Uh… yeah, I'm fine.” She sat up, still a bit disoriented, and tried to scan the area. Looking around, she could see that the spider was gone… and so was Killian. She sighed, exasperated.

              Lup stood up. She had had enough of this.  She turned to face Brian. “Hey, Brian?” “Yeah?”  He seemed unfazed. She pointed her umbrastaff at him.  “This is  _ my  _ cave, bitch.”  She cast magic missile at him, stronger now that she knew what she was doing.  The force of the spell shot him back, nearly toppling over what she could now see was the edge of a dark pit.

             Brian was doubled over, shaking and covered in blood.  He made a pained laugh. “Hah, I see you maybe learned something from my rad magic missile?  Or was that a Lup original?” “That's, I'm out of cool lines. That was, like, my only…” “Oh, I get it, I understand completely.”

             “Ah yes, it, uh, it seems my goose may be cooked, hm?  So, ah, just one more trick up my sleeve, and we’ll see how you respond to this.”  Before Lup could even do anything, Magic Brian grabbed Gundren and rolled both of them over the cliffside.  Oh, shit. Just as the three were about to go over to investigate, they saw a pair of small hands reach up and grab the edge… and then a second pair of small hands do the same.  Just then, two seemingly identical dwarves pulled themselves back up. 

             The Gundren to Lup’s right looked over, panicked.  After regaining his composure, he began to speak in a deep, gravelly voice.  “Oh my god. Okay. I... I think I see what he’s trying to do here. Listen, you have to understand, I’m the real Gundren Rockseeker.  You have to believe me. I can tell you anything you wanna know about the Rockseeker clan, I can tell you anything you wanna know about Phandalin, you have to believe me, I’m the real Gundren Rockseeker.”  Lup looked to the Gundren on her left. Unless Brian was a really bad actor or dumb enough to not disguise his voice, this could be _quite_ the prob-  “No, you must believe me!  This fellow on the right here is an impostor, I’m the real Gundren Rockseeker!”  He spoke, his voice high and accented. All three party members doubled over, laughing.  Holy shit, did he _seriously_ **_not_** disguise his voice!?  

             “Ask me anything you want about… dwarves-”  Magnus walked over, facing the two dwarves. “But which one’s the  _ real _ Gundren?”  He turned to look at Merle and Lup.  “Is it possible... that he has cursed the other Gundren Rockseeker to  _ sound  _ German and weird?”  “Yes! Yes, that is  _ exactly  _ what he did-!”  As soon as the leftmost Gundren agreed with him, Magnus spun around and kicked him into the abysmal darkness below.

             “Oh noooooooo!”  Magic Brian’s voice sounded, slowly becoming quieter as he fell.  “The mystery is solved! You’ve solved my final riddle... you are the new riddle master…”  Lup and Merle walked over to join Magnus. “How deep is that pit!?” Merle asked, snickering.  “How loud is his voice!?” Lup said between laughs. “ Congratulations… You have proven yourselves... quite the adventurers... oh, I’ve landed on Bryan…”  The trio broke down, laughing heavily. “Bryan, ahhh… Bryan, I’m so proud of them…”

             “I’m going to die now... My life is flagging from my body... I’ll see my family... goodbye cruel world…”  As much fun as Lup was having, she had to put this to end. Her magic missile was met with a yelp and then silence.  The group sat down, still laughing in disbelief about what had just happened.

                                    =========================================================

             Still recovering from the battle, Merle, Magnus, and Lup, joined by Gundren, moved towards the center of the room and stopped to rest, chatting casually amongst themselves.  After a few minutes, Killian walked out from behind the destroyed door. She sounded impressed and in disbelief. “I cannot believe... you guys pulled that off. Magic Brian, was one of the most accomplished, powerful wizards I have ever met in all of my days-”  “Well, yeah, we’re just rad like that.” Lup interrupted. “You’re welcome.” 

             Killian walked over to the pit that Magic Brian had been thrown into and looked down.  “Yeah, um, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go recover something real quick. None of you go anywhere.”  And with that, she pulled out what Lup thought might have been a feather duster, tapped herself with it, and jumped in, falling very slowly.

             Magnus turned to his companions, suddenly very serious.  “Okay, here’s the thing, fellas. There’s definitely- there’s a thing that they’re talking about that we can’t, like, mentally comprehend, right?”  Just then, Gundren chimed in. “I might be able to elucidate you.” Lup leaned over, her chin in her hands. “Oh thank goodness.” She had to have been more confused than anyone, now that she knew she knew absolutely nothing about anything that was happening.  “But uh, you guys have done well. I’ll be honest, much better than I thought you were. You picked up a new companion, which, honestly I'm not too crazy about because now I have to pay her too, but, uh… This job has brought some unforeseen circumstances, but you guys followed through, and- where’s Barry, by the way?”  “Oh, he's good.” Magnus assured him. “He’s hanging out at the bar.” Merle added. “Typical Barry, right?” The three laughed, sharing an understanding that Lup lacked.

             Gundren stood up, turned away, and waved for the group to follow him.  The four of them walked through the destroyed door and into a short tunnel-like room with a round metal door and-  Oh. Oh no. She couldn't see it very clearly, but Lup knew  _ exactly  _ where they were.  Was it really so far away from where she had been living?  Shivers ran down her spine. 

             Gundren walked towards the door while Magnus and Merle set out to explore the cavern.  Lup, meanwhile, walked over to investigate a rather familiar spot. She sighed. Looking down, she could see scraps of her robe, still bloodstained.  Realizing that the back of her robe was probably still bloody too, she wrapped her robe around her waist before squatting down to get a better look. Maybe she'd dropped something useful, like a hint or a potion vial.  She grunted in frustration. All that covered the ground was her old, dried blood. Eugh. 

             She was about get up when she noticed a glint of metal.  She meant to cast sparks of light or something, to help her see, but, immediately upon recognizing the blade, her spell upgraded itself to chaotic, red lightning, temporarily blinding yet her again and leaving her with nothing but a flashback of a horrible memory. 

             Lup was walking down the tunnel, holding… something.  And she was being led by a dwarf, the keeper of the vault she was about to close that something into.  He opened the door and as just as she was about to deposit her item, she felt a cold, sharp slash across her back, causing her to drop whatever it was she was holding.  She cast something that threw the dwarf into the vault before pushing the door closed, locking him inside. She fell back against a wall, her wounds staggering, but not lethal.  Lup looked towards the door. She had dropped her staff aways from her and it was thrashing, eagerly trying to make its way back to her. A sudden burst of flames shot out from the seams of the vault door, the light intensified by the glaring metal, blinding the elf.  The combination of slashes along her back and the searing pain of her eyes caused her to black out, falling into deep, pained slumber. 

             Lup jumped back, both in an attempt to distance herself from the rusted dagger and in surprise.  After blinking a few times, her blurry vision returned and she could now see that everyone was looking at her, Merle and Magnus in surprise and concern, respectively, and Gundren in disbelief and upset.  “What. The. Shit. What the shit was all that lightning stuff about!? And the magic umbrella!? You guys are crazy!!!” “Lup, you good?” Magnus called over. “Not dead yet.” She stood up, kicking the knife into a nearby crack before walking over to join the others by the circular door she knew so well.  

             “You guys deserve some answers.”  Gundren started. “Yeah!” Magnus agreed, “And some money!”  “Well, maybe, okay-" “Wait-" Merle interrupted, fiddling with something.  Just then, Lup felt a burst of magical energy rush through and around her. She took a second to identify whatever it was that Merle just cast.  A truth-telling spell? On her??? “Whoa, did you guys feel that?” Gundren asked. Oh, so it was a radius spell. She wanted to see where he was going with this.  “Did… did you just cast a spell on me?” Gundren’s question was answered with immediate confirmation by Merle. 

             “O-kay, uh, I don't really-"  Lup felt a discomfort start to form in her chest.  “Well I’m pissed off because you’re the one that sent us on this mission to get our asses kicked because you just admitted you didn’t think we could do it!”  That discomfort moved up through her throat, threatening to burst out. “You've got every right, listen, we've gotta-" “I stole a bunch of gold!!!” Merle looked at Lup after her sudden outburst.  “I- it isn't impulsive?” “I… I opened my mouth to complain about gold and how I was super upset about it but I found a bunch of gold and-" “I'm having a really great time and I think we're becoming closer as friends!!!”  Magnus interrupted her. Gundren looked at him, “That's very sweet, uh, I noticed your boots, they look weirdly familiar, where did you get those?” Lup burst out again. “He stole your magic boots!” Merle looked over at her, “Lup, shut up!”  Her voice became higher as she became more distressed, unable to stop herself from speaking. “I almost stole your magic boots too!” Gundren looked at her, inquisitively. “Oh, those were Thardin’s boots, I think.” Lup covered her mouth and threw herself backwards, trying to get out of the spell’s radius.  After rolling for a few feet, she felt the discomfort leave her throat and raised her arm, offering a thumbs up. “Uh...yeah, I hated that guy, keep ‘em. Anyway,” Gundren resumed with his tale.

             “My father, Cyrus Rockseeker, was in charge of security for Wave Echo Cave.  And when the orc marauders came to destroy Phandalin and seek out the Wave Echo Cave and take it over, he managed to very heroically lock away all of the magical items, magical weapons, equipment, trinkets, everything, away in the mine’s personal vault, which is here behind me.” Wait, what? Orc marauders? Lup’s pretty sure she’d have remembered a bunch of orc marauders ransacking a cave. “Unfortunately in order to do so, he also had to lock himself in. So he sadly sacrificed himself.”  Lup’s eyes shot open. No, this couldn’t have been the same dwarf. But… this place sure did seem untouched since then. God, how long had she been in here!? She looked towards where she had kicked the knife.

             “So he goes Scrooge McDuck how long ago?”  Merle questioned. “Uh… this was about a decade ago.”  A _decade!?!?!?_  As in, _ten fucking years_!?!?!?  Sure, what was ten years to an elf, but Lup would like to argue that any more than a week of uninterrupted cave life was far too much.   _Ten_ _years,_ really!?  Lup sat up, suddenly very unnerved.  That dwarf… Cyrus… he couldn't be… still _alive_ … could he?  

             “Fortunately, this door is attuned to Rockseeker blood, so I can open it up and we can have ourselves a field day with the treasures and weapons and everything within."  Lup stood up and scrambled over to the group, now very nervous. Just as she reached her companions, the door began to creak open, revealing its contents. 

             Inside was what looked like a very small passageway, which, unlike the rest of the cave, was pretty dark.  Gundren stepped in, waving for the rest to follow. “Okay, maybe some sort of light source in the tunnel may be a good idea.”  Magnus suggested. Oh! Right, humans don't have dark vision. And Lup didn't really…  _ have _ vision right now.  In response, Merle cast a dim, pale lavender light.  It didn't do much to help Lup, but Magnus seemed appeased, so Lup closed her eyes and proceeded by sound.  

             Right away, she noticed that the ground wasn't soft rock, like the rest of the cave.  Instead, she realised, she was walking on top of smooth glass. She reached for the wall, finding that that too was glass.

             Lup opened her eyes.  Wasn't a vault supposed to have… valuables?  Gundren spoke, unsettled. “Something’s not right.”  Using his voice, Lup sensed another figure, dwarven in size.  She walked over, gaining the attention of Magnus. In the center of the dark, obsidian chamber was a figure, burned completely beyond recognition.  She breathed a sigh of relief. Alright, so her assailant  _ wasn't  _ still alive.  But what happened?  And where was her shit!?  She looked at the figure again, struggling to see in the dark room.  The figure had an arm raised in the air, wearing a silver gauntlet. Just before she was about to call over one of her companions, Magnus rushed over and high fived the figure, recoiling in pain as a spout of flame shot up and engulfed his hand.  Lup looked at him, deadpan, “Nice going, dipshit.” Their interaction turned Gundren’s attention towards them. “This is my pop.” Lup looked back at the gauntlet, trying to get a read on it. It was magical, no doubt. School of magic… evocation?  She stepped closer. It seemed, somehow… familiar. Was this what she was carrying? Why would she have even had a magic fire glove in the first place? She looked at Gundren. “Do you know anything about the glove he's wearing?”

             Gundren sounded frustrated.  “It seems like some magical artifact, but everything- this room is supposed to be filled magic weapons and impossible armaments that-"  He grunted, becoming increasingly upset. “I don't understand what's going on!!!” He was irate. Lup tried to placate him. “Hey, calm down there, bucko.”  She looked around and listened, trying to scan the room. The only way out was through the door they had entered through. 

             They were interrupted by a voice.  “What did I tell you!?” Killian was right outside of the vault.  “I told you guys to stay put! I don't understand why you guys keep being so difficult.  I don't understand why  _ any _ of you are here!”  “We got bored!” Magnus reasoned.  Lup crossed her arms and turned to face her.  “You left for, it was like four hours!” “It was literally like a minute and a half!” Killian was dumbfounded.  “I've been living in a cave for the last decade, you think I still understand basic increments of time!?” “It was ninety whole seconds!  That's like, had you just walked around that room  _ once _ , I would have been back!”

             Killian sighed, frustrated, and drew her crossbow.  “Okay, everybody just, step aside,  _ that _ -"  She pointed at the gauntlet.  “Is what I came here looking for.  It is  _ indescribably  _ dangerous.  Everybody, step away from the enchanted gauntlet, please.”  Gundren, who was standing about as close to the gauntlet as Lup was, looked at Killian and asked, “Are you guys here with this filthy orc?”  “Woah! Hey! Cool it with the racism, dude!” All three seemed shocked at the sudden outburst. Killian looked taken aback. “Did you just call me filthy, dude?”  Magnus was about to step in when Gundren stepped even closer towards the gauntlet. “This gauntlet, everything in this vault is my birthright. There’s  _ no _ way I’m giving this thing up to you.”  “Hey, guys-?” Lup was cut off by a now very pissed Killian.  “Don’t test me.  _ Don’t _ test me.  I had a real long day.  I got all webbed up in the other room, hated that.”  Gundren turned towards the Merle and Magnus. “Boys, you two have served me very well.”  Lup flicked her ears in annoyance. “I have one last job for you. I need you to take her out.”  Killian shook her head. “ _ Hold _ up!  Not so sure about that decision.  Doesn't seem like a good one.”

             Magnus stepped between Gundren and Killian.  “Now hol- stop. Everybody stop. Gundren, do you know why this room is empty and there’s a gauntlet on the dude’s hand?”  “I don't know why this is the only thing in the room, but I know that it's mine.” “Okay,” Magnus turned towards Killian. “Killian, do  _ you _ know why that is?”  “I have a pretty good goddamn idea, yeah.”  “Okay, Gundren?” He turned back towards the dwarf.  “How about we chill the fuck out and we find out what's going on?”  Lup looked at Killian. “Killian, can you talk freely to us yet?” She sighed, exasperated.  “I can't- look, I- this might answer your question, that thing is called the #######*####*########.”  She threw out her arms for effect. “I  _ can’t  _ tell you what it is.  Gundren,  _ step.  Off. _  You are done.  You're done. We're done here.”  “Or, better idea…” Gundren roughly shoved Lup aside and grabbed the gauntlet, promptly shoving it on his left hand.  The burned figure crumbled and the dwarf was completely engulfed in flame. And then the flames subsided, leaving Gundren virtually untouched.

             Lup stood up and backed away slowly.  “Hey, Gundren? How ya feelin’?” He laughed dryly, his voice shaking.  “Powerful.” “Well, shit.” Killian, in response, shot an arrow at Gundren.  The dwarf, however, easily burned it up before it reached him. Killian tensed up and waved the the remaining not on fire inhabitants of the room over towards her.  “Everyone get away from the fiery dwarf now.” Lup started to sidestep away when Magnus, for some goddamn reason, charged at the dwarf, who swatted him away with a burst of flame as easily as a donkey swats flies… if that donkey was on fire.  

             Magnus flew back, sliding across the glass.  Gundren spoke again, “I'm done with this.” before flying out through the vault door, covered in flames.  Killian straightened up from ducking, her voice heavy with frustration, disappointment, and annoyance. “Well, that went about as shitty as it could have gone.”  Magnus pushed himself up, still somehow in a pretty great mood. “I  _ almost  _ had him!”  Lup didn’t have the heart to tell him that that could not have been further from the truth. 

             Killian reloaded her crossbow.  “We need to get him, and we need to find him, and we need to stop him, before he destroys the whole world.  Are you guys down?  I’m not gonna lie, this is  _ way _ above your pay grade.”  After confirming that everyone was, in fact, super down to hunt down an angry dwarf made of fire to stop him from probably destroying the world, the four started to backtrack their way through the cave.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had quite a few problems writing this chapter. The program I was using kept crashing, forcing me to write the content several times. Here's hoping the new program won't do that! Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	6. An Orc, A Witch, and A Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In celebration of finally leaving her cave, Lup decides to do some good and free a captive. This does not go as well as she planned.

        Following Gundren was easier than Lup expected.  Everywhere he went, he left a scorched trail behind him.  The four ran through the cave and before she knew it, Lup was outside.  She didn’t have time to appreciate it, though, before falling backwards in recoil at the sun.  Damn it, this was like, what, the  _ fourth _ time she’s collapsed in front of these guys?  God, she was  _ not  _ making a strong impression, was she?  She tried to get up, but was snatched up by Magnus before she could stand.  Well, okay, she was being carried now, into an area she had no knowledge of to fight an angry, magical being of fire.  What could go wrong?

        She was set down in what she thought might be a carriage of sorts.  It was wooden, no doubt, and  _ very _ crowded with equipment and supplies.  She sat up, only to be pushed back down by the sudden burst of speed as the cart began to move at a breakneck speed.  Unsure of what to do, she listened in on Magnus and Killian’s conversation. “If I high five the cart, will it go faster!?”  Killian sounded exasperated, absolutely drained. “Yes, keep high fiving the cart, that’ll do it, Magnus. You’re saving the day!”  Taking pity on the woman, Lup cast sleep on Magnus, freeing her from the onslaught of naive stupidity. Killian turned towards Lup, with the graciousness of an oppressed kingdom having been liberated.  Lup shaded her eyes with her hand and tried to squint out from under the wagon cover. She saw what looked like a town rapidly approaching. Only, that town was starting to burst into flames and was surrounded by what seemed to be the charred corpses of orcs.  Killian slowed the cart when she saw human scavengers picking among the carnage, along with an adolescent orc boy, locked in a cage.

        “Aw Jesus, I know we're in a hurry.  It's up to you guys.” Magnus, having already woken up, jumped off the side of the cart and rushed over towards the group of humans.  Lup and Merle got off the cart to follow him, and, by the time they reached them, Magnus had already started a fight. “Okay, guys, let's make this quick.”  Killian rolled over and shot a bolt towards the lead ruffian, sending him back a good distance. Magnus, meanwhile, had swung a large axe at another ruffian, effectively debilitating him.  Aiming to distract the uninjured ones, Merle cast something that amplified his voice and called out as though they had supports on the way. After the two remaining humans had run off in separate directions, Lup finished the battle with a magic missile, splitting them between the two.

        Now that that was over with, her companions had turned to find Lup already looting the corpses.  She held up a ring of keys triumphantly and tossed them over, not yet confident in her ability to unlock stuff.

        While the other three dealt with the orc boy, Lup hopped in the ruffian’s cart, hoping to steal some shit.  Looking around, she found a deck of cards that were  _ super _ designed for cheating and fours bags of coins, totaling about… two hundred and twenty gold!  Sweet! Oh, she probably had to share this, didn't she. Well, alright. Everything else in the cart was either really shitty or burned beyond use.  She hopped out of the cart to find that the young orc boy had run off. And her companions, namely Killian, were pretty pissed about it.

          The four of them got back into their cart and resumed following the burnt trail.  By the time they reached what Lup assumed was their destination, it had reached dusk, a time of day which provided her with enough light to sort of see without blinding her.

        Walking in, the city seemed fine, save for the charring in select areas.  It was, however, seemingly abandoned, the streets completely deserted. The four travelers followed the path to its end, the scorched front door of a local bar.  Lup’s ears drooped in dread. An unstable, raging ball of fire and copious amounts of alcohol could  _ not _ be a good combination.  Inside, she heard shouting and a burst of flame blared out through door, sending Lup down yet again.  She was really getting tired of this whole no bright lights thing.

        Then the door opened, and, struggling to keep her eyes open, Lup saw a man run out, ducking to avoid a fireball.  He looked in their direction. “Oh my god, you're back! You guys, you gotta help. I've never seen him like this, um, things are really bad, you gotta calm him down.

       Killian turned inwards to face the rest of the group.  “You would be wise to listen to him, we can’t fight him right now.  If we try to fight him, we’re gonna lose. He’s - he’s more powerful than anybody you guys have ever met.  That’s - that’s not an empty promise, he will incinerate anybody who defies him. We - we gotta calm him down and try and get that glove off of him.”

         Just then, Gundren burst out into the street, covered entirely in flame.  Lup could barely even look in his direction. The dwarf spoke in a growl, his voice different from before.  “Why would you wanna stop me?”

         Closing her eyes, Lup cast charm person on him, surprised to find that it had no effect.  Magnus called out, “Gundren, you have to listen, the glove is consuming you from the inside out.  Remember your father in the cave! If you don’t remove the glove, you’re going to die!” The dwarf disagreed, viciously.  She heard Merle take a few steps forward. “Listen, we're cousins, we have the same bloodline, we-” “What's my middle name?  No, fuck it, what's my  _ first _ name?”  Merle hesitated.  “...Your name is… Gundren Lou Rockseeker.”  “That's right…!” He seemed incredulous. Then Lup heard a snarl.  “What are you doing!? This is mine!!!” Everyone tensed, unsure of what would happen.  

            “Now Gundren… you know me.  Remember Christmas at Aunt Blarg’s house?  Remember? We would sit around and drink mulled wine…”  “I miss her so much!” “Oh, Aunt Blarg! She was a good woman!”  “She was until she was killed by those GOD DAMN ORCS!!!” Merle hesitated.  “Well… well that was never proven. And you know what? She loved you, and, y’know, she gave every year to the Orc Benevolent Fund.”  “I know. And that's what made her death at their hands so ironic! SO PAINFULLY IRONIC!!!” “It- It  _ is _ painfully ironic, but is this what she would've wanted?  Would she have wanted you to do this? To not only kill all these indiscriminate orcs, but burn up your own ass at the same time?  I don't think so. Come on, why don't you just take gauntlet off and we can all talk about it.” The light from the fire began to dim, slowly.  Woah, was this actually working? “...I don't think I can…” “Well, sure you can! You're the strongest dwarf I know! I mean, through the years-"  “Bronze Strongarm is the strongest dwarf. And we both know that. So don't bullshit me.” “Listen, he may be good at arm wrestling, but you? You're strong at heart!”  Lup was amazed that Merle seemed to have diffused the situation, at least somewhat. She straightened up. Now that Gundren was calm, the fire had begun to die down and she could look in his direction without problem.  His hair was burned away and his clothes were tattered and charred. 

        “I'm so sorry, I killed a bunch of orcs earlier.  You didn't see that, did you?” “Uh, we’re just gonna blame it on the ruffians.  You know, for the public.” Merle assured him. “I'm… I'm just so… tired…” “Right?  So, come on, why don't you just slip off the glove, take a nap and- when you get up?  We'll go spelunking! And, uh… share stories about Aunt Blarg.” “...I miss her.” “I know you do.”  

        Gundren sighed, now complacent.  “Okay. You guys are right. I can't control this thing.  And I think it's time we-” He was cut off by the  _ thunk _ of an arrow hitting its target.  Lup whirled around to see none other than the orc boy that her companions had freed.   _ Shhhiiiit.   _ As soon as the orc saw her, he turned and sprinted away.  And then Lup felt an intense heat on her back. Well, fuck.  She turned back towards the now flaming dwarf, keeping her head down so as to keep  _ some _ field of vision open.  Looking down she saw the man, Barry?, slowly back away before being crushed into the ground with a fiery fist.  “Time to go!” Killian grabbed her by the wrist to pull her up and then started sprinting towards the outskirts of town, insisting that the rest of the group follow her.  “Get to the well, get to the well, get to the well, get to the well!” She pulled out her feather duster again and aimed it at the other three, shooting out gray beams of light before jumping in the well.  Merle followed directly after her. Magnus, however seemed hesitant. “Hey, Mags!? What the fuck!?” He turned to her, “We can't just leave all these people here!” Lup rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm, practically throwing him into the well before jumping in herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time. It would have been longer, but I just couldn't get it to flow smoothly into the next section. Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	7. To the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang takes a hostage. This turns out far better than Lup expected.

       As they reached the bottom of the well, Lup looked up to find a scorched red sky.  There was a final blood curdling scream, followed a wave of fire, which produced a growl that was amplified by both the small confines of the well and her hypersensitive hearing that just so happened to be the loudest goddamn thing Lup had ever had the displeasure to hear.  

       She covered her ears tightly, really more pissed than anything else at this point.  At that moment, she would've given  _ anything _ to have been deaf, rather than half-blind.  She curled in tighter on herself, just waiting for the chaos to end.  After what had to have been at least twenty seconds, she grabbed her umbrastaff, aimed for the opening of well, and cast a silencing spell, bringing the noise to an end.  Looking over, her companions seemed to be appreciative as well. Well, two of them did, at least. Killian was currently face down on the ground, unconscious. The three were quiet for a moment, recovering from the screeching burning happening above.

             Magnus broke the silence.  “So... we're just, like… at the bottom of a well…”  Lup drew her knees in to her chest. “Well, this is going good!”  Merle crossed his arms. “We really suck at this, so far.” Magnus leaned back and huffed.  “You know, in retrospect, I regret helping that orc kid. I wish we’d killed him.” Lup looked over at him.  “I wish we'd killed him too! I was just thinking!” “But you know what? A lot of woulda-coulda-shoulda, you know what I mean?”  “That's true. Wish in one hand spit in the other.” She leaned her head back against the wall before remembering what she had found.  “Oh! That reminds me.” Lup rustled through her pockets and pulled out the deck of cards, throwing them over to Magnus. “Found these magic cards.  One of you can probably do  _ something  _ with them.”  She looked up, the sky was dark and the flames seemed to had stopped.

            “So… can anyone, like, levitate? Or something?” Magnus shifted. “I think we just live at the bottom of this well now.”  He threw his hand back against the wall. “Actually…!” He stood up, running his fingers against the interior. “I can probably climb this and drop a rope down.”  “Wait!” Lup leaned over Killian. Man, she was good at looting bodies. She turned back to Magnus, tossing him Killian’s crossbow, pocketing the feather duster and button.  “Alright,” she waved him on, “Go ahead.”

            Lup hugged her knees again, looking up.  She then heard a, “Well, this sucks.” come from Magnus before the rope came down.  She turned to Merle before gesturing towards Killian. “Should we…?” He sighed. “Yeah, probably.”  The two grabbed Killian and,  _ somehow,  _ managed to haul her up the rope.  This was quite the challenge for Lup, considering she had done NOTHING to keep her upper body strength in shape for the last  _ ten _ years.  She shook her head again.  Ten years. She still couldn't quite believe that it had been that long.  

            Once she reached the top of the rope, Lup, along with Magnus’ help, pushed Killian up over onto the ground.  Then she pulled herself up and- holy  _ shit. _

           Looking around, the town was completely gone, moonlight reflecting against the black glass that had replaced it.  In the very center of the glass was a burned, dwarven figure, its hand raised and wearing a gauntlet.

         Lup slunk down against against the side of the now glassen well.  For a few minutes, nobody moved. What the hell did they do now? Then she looked back at the gauntlet.

           She took a breath and looked over towards her companions.  “So, okay, listen. We know that touching the glove from the outside is really bad.  And we know that putting  _ on _ the glove is, like, probably really stupid.  Um…” “Can we cut off his arm?” Merle asked. “I mean, yeah, it would probably just break off.  I just- I don't really know if it's safe to take. I mean,” she gestured to the ground. “It's obviously very powerful.”  “Well, we had two people interested in the gauntlet. And one of them is dead.” “Right.” “Let's wake up the other one, let her have it!”  “Uh…” Magnus poked at Killian. “She seems pretty… concussed.” Lup looked over. “Yeah…” “Wait, Merle.” Magnus looked to the dwarf. “You're a cleric.  Can't you just heal her?” “I mean…”

          Lup stood up, leaning back on her hands against the well.  “I could try figure out the glove while you do that.” Getting the go ahead, Lup started over towards gauntlet.  She stopped when… well, it wasn't quite a voice in her head. More like, just… a compulsion? She took a step back.  “Yo, not to alarm anyone, but the glove is, like, telling me it  _ really _ wants me to put it on.”  Magnus looked unsure. “I… think you should back up.  Like, we  _ did _ just see it destroy a town."  Lup nodded. “I don't disagree, but… like, it's obviously very dangerous; we can't just leave it here.  But we also can't touch it.” As she moved her head to speak, she noticed a shine coming off of something on the woman’s arm.  “Hm?” She strained her neck. “What's under her sleeve?” Magnus pulled up Killian’s sleeve to reveal a metal brace, inscribed with a strange symbol. 

            “Woah! You guys think this is how she’s getting her magic info on this thing?”  Lup leaned closer. “Well, it’s not really magic. Why don’t we just wake her up and make her answer?”  She waved from Merle towards Killian. “Well, hold on.” Magnus stood up and untied the rope that they used to climb up the well.  “Maybe we should, like, tie her up before we heal her? I mean, it doesn’t seem like anything’s gonna get any worse right now.” He turned his head towards Lup.  “And you  _ did _ just steal all her shit.”  Yeah, she did, didn’t she? “Uh, yeah, she probably won’t be too psyched about that.”  After successfully having tied her up, Magnus stepped back, drawing the crossbow and letting Merle heal her.  

          Killian awoke to find her hands and feet bound.  She looked around, solemn. “I, uh… I guess we didn’t save Phandalin, huh?”  She looked at Magnus, who was currently aiming her crossbow at her. “I’d like that back, please?  And my hands. Would like those back too, if I could just use ‘em.” Magnus frowned, “Well, okay, I feel like we could’ve done more for Phandalin, had we known what was going on.”  Killian made a frustrated sound. “How many fucking times do I have to tell you that I literally can’t tell you anything!? I can’t tell you any helpful information! I  _ can’t  _ tell you.  I can’t tell you.”  Lup crossed her arms, not really buying it.  “I feel like you could’ve done, like, a  _ little _ more.”  Her companions nodded in agreement.  “Maybe. Like, drop a hint that he was gonna turn into a giant ball of fire?”  Merle added. 

         “Let me- alright!”  She sat up, the best she could, anyway.  “Okay, fine. Let’s try this. You tell me when it gets static-y, cool?”  After sharing a glance, the three nodded. “Okay, I have to pick my words very carefully.”  She took a deep breath. "I… am an employee… of...a group… of concerned people...who are… working to… #######*#######-”  “Yep, there we go.” Magnus stopped her. “We got crackles.” “I, ugh, okay. We’re working to make… the whole land… safer.”  “Okay, that was clear, except that’s hard to buy because the first time we met you, you sicced a giant grinder thing on us.” Lup’s ears perked in surprise.   _ That’s _ what she did?  That's… odd, but still rude!!!  “I thought you were trying to stop my group of people from doing a good thing!”  

          Lup took a step forward.  “Is the, uh… is your inability to talk to us related to your bracer?”  Killian raised her eyebrows. “Oh, this old thing? No.” “So… what  _ is _ it for?”  Killian groaned, impatient.  “Oh well see, whenever you touch the thing in my bracer, it #######*#*#### from the ######*##########.”  She looked behind Lup, her expression changed to bewildered when she saw the gauntlet. “Wait a minute. How have none of you grabbed the gauntlet and put it on?”  “Oh, we're super cool." Magnus assured her. “You mean its- its thrall didn't overtake you?” Lup shook her head. “No, we're dumb, but super willful. I was fine, at least.”  Killian seemed dumbstruck. “I… you guys… where did you come from?” Magnus stood up straight. “Well, I was born in Raven’s Roost to-" “God, no, I don't want a backstory.” She shook her head.  

           “Okay. I'm gonna let you guys in.  I think… I think we could use people like you.  If you've already escaped the thrall of that thing I can't say the name of.”  “Glovey!” “...Glovey, yeah, fine" Killian begrudgingly accepted his nickname.  “If you've already escaped the thrall of Glovey, you can collect it. And we'll take it somewhere where it will never do anything like this ever again.  But! You have to let me out of here.”

             Upon hearing the words ‘collect it’, Lup bolted back towards the glove, listening in to the rest of her statement while she ran.  She grabbed the glove, surprised to find its metal was cold. She pulled it off of Gundren's scorched figure, sending whatever was left of the dwarf crashing down to the floor, ashes scattering.  “Don't-  _ DON'T  _ put it on!”  Killian cried out.  Lup rolled her eyes.  She wasn't quite  _ that _ dumb.  Shoving the gauntlet in between her waist and her robe, she walked back to find Killian now untied and armed with her crossbow again.

            She stood up, dusting herself off.  “Thanks for the healing. We need to get somewhere where the ground isn't as… hard.”  She walked over to the edge of where the glass met the forest and pressed something on her bracer.  “And now we just wait. Shouldn't take too long. Um, what are your names again?” “I'm Magnus ‘The Hammer’ Burnsides.  I'm from Raven's Roost. Born the son of a carpenter, I-" Lup placed her hand over his mouth. “I'm Lup. Been living in a cave for a while.”  She gestured to her other companion. “I’m Merle Highchurch. We were in prison together!” “I- what!?” Magnus moved Lup’s hand away. “When!? For what!?”  “For fightin’ the man! We were fightin’ the man!” Lup joined Magnus in his confusion. “ _ What _ man!?”  “You know, the man!!!”

           The discussion was brought to an end by a loud, whooshing sound, followed by the thunk of a large sphere landing where Killian was pointing her arm.  At least, Lup thought it was a sphere. It gotten so dark that she was essentially blind again. The orc walked towards it and waved for them to follow her.  “Alright, come on!” 

            Lup heard her tap on glass, presumably the orb, followed by a rustling, which she guessed was Killian entering the orb.  She followed the rest of her party, being the last to enter a somehow brightly lit, spherical room containing several chairs.  She sat down and strapped herself in next to Merle, with Magnus next to Killian in front of them. 

          In an attempt to dim the light around her, Lup brushed her hair over her eyes, opting to listen in instead.  Wow, ten years without a haircut sure did make a difference, didn't it? Her shoulders slunk in annoyance. She heard the entrance that they had entered through close and the sphere began to shift, lifting into the sky.  

        Had someone asked Lup what she thought she'd be doing that night, she had to admit that escaping a cavern, killing an orc trafficking gang, burning down a city, getting trapped in a well, taking a hostage, and flying through the air in a strange orb all in the same day was not at the top of her list.

          Killian spoke, “You three are gonna  _ love _ what happens next!”  Lup looked through hair and out the dark, glassen walls of the sphere to see, to her surprise, that they were rapidly approaching what appeared to be the moon.  So now she could add visiting the moon to her list. Great.

            Lup then found herself in an inky darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only seven chapters in and I've reached the end of the first arc!!! I'll have the Moonlighting chapters up as soon as I can. Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	8. Lunar Jelly and Elevator Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup's list of unexpected things expands.

              Just as suddenly as the darkness had started, it was brought to an end by a flood of lights.  Squinting, Lup was under the impression that they were now in a hangar of some sort. Looking out, she could see people dressed in blue and white uniforms, almost like soldiers.  She curled in on herself in dread. She didn't just get tricked into joining the military, did she? Or, worse yet, was she being arrested? Considering the amount of crime she had  _ just _ committed in her  _ one _ day outside, she could only imagine what she could've done  _ before  _ she was trapped in a cave for all those years.  Was  _ that  _ why she was in the cave?  Was she covering up a heist?  That…  _ kinda _ sounds like something she would she do, she guessed.  Ah, shit, was she a wanted criminal?

           Killian tapped on the wall of the glass sphere, opening up a hole with which to exit.  She gestured for the three of them to follow her. 

           Killian leading, the four of them walked down a flight of stairs, out of the hangar.  Lup began to feel dizzy, confused. Almost like when she first woke up, only less blind.  She looked around to try to clear her head. Unfortunately, it seemed like the more she tried to take in her surroundings, the more lightheaded she became.  Killian turned around and, in response to her disorientation, said, “Oh, by the way, things are going to be… a little weird, for a bit. But I promise that's gonna pass.  Just, the three of you, wait here. I'm gonna get you guys taken care of, I just need to run out and get you authorized real quick. Uh, it'll just take a few minutes, just hang out here, and don't move."  

        The three of them sat down, deciding to actually listen to Killian this time.  A guard walked over to them. Lup looked up to find him somewhat concerned and offering her a flask.  “Uh, here, you guys should… you guys should drink this. It'll help, trust me.” She snatched up the flask immediately.  Non-fungal food? And booze, at that? Oh, hell yes, she's taking him up on that offer. After taking a long swig of- wow, that's actually pretty strong.  She made a face and passed the flask over to Magnus.

            “That is, uh, delicious brandy from my home town of Brandybuck.”  Magnus took a drink and passed it off to Merle. “I'm  _ really _ glad you're not from Phandalin.”  “I've got an uncle in Phandalin. Uh, were you just there?”  “Correction, darling, you  _ had _ an uncle in Phandalin.”  Lup spoke up. “Oh, uh…” The guard seemed at a loss.  “He was probably away on business, he's probably fine.”  Magnus assured him. “Well, I didn't- he wasn't, like, my favorite uncle or anything, but uh-"  “Good news!” Merle handed the flask back. “Just check with the executor of his will, I mean, just sayin’.”  “Well, no, the executor’s dead too.” Magnus reminded him.

             Whether the brandy had a neutralizing effect or she was just getting slightly drunk, Lup began to feel a bit better and less dizzy.  “Hey, listen,” the guard reclaimed his flask. “I know things are gonna be pretty confusing for a while. I know you've got the static-y stuff going on and you're kinda dizzy.  But, uh, listen, every single person that you're gonna meet up here went through the same thing. Trust me, it's gonna get a lot better really soon and we're all really, really excited to have you guys.”  Lup was a bit hesitant and not really any closer to an answer. Being drugged and reassured could be a sign of military or prison, really. “Oh, uh, sorry, my name is Avi.” He smiled. “After everything's over, why don't you guys come find me if you wanna, ya know, hang or whatever.”  “Sure, we can bro out!” Magnus readily agreed. “That sounds great, we just need a minute.”

            Just then, Killian came back in.  “Okay, you guys are clear! Just follow me and we can get this show on the road.”  The trio waved goodbye to Avi and began to follow Killian. They walked out of dome they were in and out into an open area.  If Lup didn't know they were on a moon-like area, she'd have thought they were outside in a plain, or something. Still, it was pretty hard for her to see anything.  Stepping up to a dome with a spear sticking out of the top, Killian raised her bracer to the door and motioned everyone inside. Then she stopped, turning to the rest of the group.

           “So, I, uh, I can't actually go down there with you guys.  High security, and all that. But, yeah, this is where you need to go next."  She gestured towards what seemed to be an elevator. 

            The three got in the elevator, about to go down when they were stopped by a very somber sounding man.  “Wait! Can you hold the elevator, please?” Magnus immediately moved to close the doors. Wow, it really was a flip of the coin with this guy’s morals, wasn’t it?  Lup held her arm out through the door, removing it once the man had entered. Now, she couldn’t see much, but she could see well enough to notice how  _ dreadfully _ this man was dressed.  She didn’t know what was worse, the pantaloons or the feathered cap.  At least, she hoped it wasn’t any worse than that.

             “Uh…” Lup was at a loss for words.  “Do… you… work here?” “Yeah, what gave it away?  The fact that I’m here? No, I just wandered into a moon base.  That was a joke.” Lup glared, unamused. Was  _ everyone _ on this damn moon base gonna sass her like this?  If so, she was not a woman above jumping off the moon.  “Well,” she was curt. “I mean,  _ we _ don’t work here.”  “Oh, are you initiates?”  The man’s monotonous tone remained unenthusiastic.  “That’s cool.” 

            Merle stepped towards the man, pushing Magnus back in an attempt to stop him from… was he trying to tickle this man?  She may not have chosen the best people to entrust her life with. “May I ask your name, Garb bard?” “Uh, it’s Johann.”  “What’s wrong, dude?” Magnus asked.

            Johann sighed, perhaps a bit overdramatically.  “Everything, I guess. If you think just sort of, like, where I ended up.  Like, my life choices and-” “You’re on a moon!” Magnus reminded him in an attempt to cheer him up.  “I guess that’s true, I mean I don’t get a lot of customers. The problem is, fellas, I’m just, like, the greatest violinist ever, and...”  Yeah, Lup would like to contest that. And she didn’t even play violin!

             He pulled his violin from off of his back.  “Actually, would you guys mind if I played for you?”  “Oh, yeah, sure!” Getting confirmation, Johann brought his bow to the strings and began to play.  Oh. Oh wow. Lup would like to retract her previous statement. This guy actually  _ was _ really damn good.  She felt her eyes begin to well up, moved to tears by the sheer beauty of this performance.  Slightly embarrassed, she turned to hide her face, only to find that her companions were face down, sobbing on the floor.  She felt less embarrassed.

            Having finished the piece, Johann dropped his violin limply to his side.  “See? I told you guys. Oh gosh.” Merle looked up at him, an absolute mess of tears.  “That was beautiful.” No lie, Lup was somewhat intimidated by this guy now. Magnus wiped his face and turned to Johann.  “Johann, why aren’t- why aren’t you using this gift out in the world!? You should be like, playing before kings!!!” He sighed in response.  “It’s in the contract, you guys, it’s uh, you know, it’s- I  _ wish  _ there was something I could do about it.  I’m not complaining, like, it’s hard out there, to find a job as a bard.  But...” 

           Just then, the elevator doors slid open.  Johann walked out and relayed something to the one, two, three… fourteen guards!?  Seems… excessive, but okay. He rolled up his sleeve, exposing a bracer identical to Killian’s, and pressed it to a door, gaining access to a very dark room.  The three remaining passengers followed closely behind him.

           Stepping in, Lup instantly became far more lightheaded, her dizziness worse than ever.  The room was sheathed entirely in darkness, the only exception being a faint light coming from the middle of the room: a large tank containing… what was  _ in _ there!?  Lup could see nothing but a shadow of…  _ something. _  Whenever she tried to focus on whatever it was, it only seemed to become more obscure.  She grabbed her head, almost reeling back. This room was too much for her. She reopened her eyes to find Johann holding out a vial of liquid in her direction.  She hoped it was very strong alcohol. “Okay, so this isn’t gonna taste great, but, uh…” He turned to hand the others their respective vials.

           Lup looked into the vial, swishing the liquid gently.  It was dark, almost like ink. And it while it certainly didn’t smell like alcohol, she figured she had nothing to lose.  While Johann was still explaining the process to Magnus and Merle, Lup took a breath to brace herself and shot it back. 

            She dropped the vial in shock.  Her mind reeled as as she was suddenly flooded with memories of what had been lost to time.  She remembered Killian, in the mine, asking if she was there for the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet. She remembered Magic Brian asking if she was a member of the Bureau of Balance.  She remembered beyond that. She remembered a war that destroyed entire towns. Carnage and bloodshed so great, how could she have possibly forgotten!? She lost loved ones in this war.  She can't remember…  _ who _ , but she remembered the heartbreak.  She looked up and, clear as day, she saw what was floating in the tank.

             That liquid hadn't  _ healed _ her, had it?  She certainly didn't  _ feel  _ healed.  But, with such clarity, she saw an enormous jellyfish.  Inside of its body was what looked like galaxies, swirling stars, and streaming lights.  It was one of the most beautiful things Lup had ever seen. And all of her dizziness, all of her nausea was gone.  And her head was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up soon, but I'm gonna need your guys' help with something. Should I have Lup room with Magnus, Merle, and Pringles or Killian and some surprise roommates? Please comment below!!!


	9. A Surprisingly Lucid Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup gets an actual job, and it's about time, really.

          Lup blinked slowly and turned towards the other two men.  They had been watching her, trying to gauge her reaction. “Do- guys?  Drink the damn vial.” They exchanged a look of uncertainty before begrudgingly downing its inky contents.  

           While her companions stood, stupefied, Lup tried to perform an arcana check on whatever this creature was.  To her surprise, however, it seemed as though absolutely no magic was involved.

             Magnus looked slowly down at the vial in his hand.  “Woah…” “So,” Johann spoke up from across the room, where he had been leaning against a desk.  “You guys… you guys good?” “Yeah, yeah, super great.” “Uh… Bureau of Balance. Did you guys hear that?  No static?” “Yeah, we got that.” 

             “Cool. Well, uh… welcome to the club,  uh…” Johann looked at the creature in the tank.  “This thing is the, uh, we call it the voidfish. That's probably, like, that's probably not its real name.”  He picked up a sheet of paper from the desk behind him. “Um, it feeds on information and then, whatever information you give it, it just sort of… removes from existence.  It just stops existing. Unless you've been inoculated and drank from the tank.” 

           Magnus made a sound as though he had just figured something out.  “So  _ that's  _ why you're so bummed out.  ‘Cause you have to write songs and then let the voidfish consume them.”  “Yeah, that's kind of my job. I have to feed this thing, ‘cause man, if it dies, we're all fucked.”  “What happens if it dies?” Lup asked. “Then everyone would remember and that would be-"

          “Guys,” Johann cut himself off.  “You're gonna learn a lot of stuff here in the next, like, twenty minutes or so.  Um, and if all of that- If everyone down there knew that- Well, I mean they used to, and that’s what caused-"  Magnus cut him off. “Okay, cool, Johann. Who's in charge here?” “Uh, that’s the Director. Um. Now that you guys have been inoculated, she’ll probably want to see you.”  “Can you take us to her?” “Well, no, I’m not, like, the valet here, I-” Magnus handed him a slip of paper. “I- what is this?” “Five whole Magnus Bucks if you take us to the Director.”  He winked, “And there’s more where that came from.” “I- what are Magnus Bucks?” “Magnus Bucks! Good at any Magnus location! Not to be used in association with any other Magnus coupons.”  “I…”

           Johann turned away from Magnus.  “The guards over there can take you to her.  And, honestly, I’d just like to say it was cool meeting the three of you.”  Magnus stood triumphantly. “Not you. It wasn’t nice to meet you, I take that back.  The other two are cool, though.” Magnus handed him another slip of paper. “I- thank you, what can I spend these on?”  “Magnus merchandise and the Magnus Experience!” Lup shared a glance with Merle before leaning forward and turning her head towards him. “And…  _ what _ exactly is the… Magnus Experience?”  “Well, it’s ever-evolving! No two visits are ever the same!  See, the Magnus Experience is actually-” “Bye, Johann!” Having successfully distracted him, Lup and Merle pushed Magnus out back towards the rows of guards.            

          While walking out, Lup passed what looked to be a monk carrying a file.  Squinting, she was able to discern that the picture on the front was of Magic Brian.  She couldn’t even try reading the text, though. It seemed like her eyesight was completely the same, with the exception of the, what was it, the voidfish?  For whatever reason, she had no trouble seeming that at all. She looked back to see the monk hand Johann the file, which he then released into the tank, tendrils wrapping around it.  Her eyes widened. Oh.  _ Oh. _  So, if she dies… there goes her memory.  This thought was somewhat unnerving. 

              Lup helped Merle push Magnus, who was still ranting about his… ‘experiences’ into the elevator, where a guard closed the door behind them and sent them up.

 

                                  ===================================== 

 

              Having completed their ride, they were received by a guard who led them to what was clearly the largest, grandest dome on this moon base.  Lup walked into the most grandiose foyer she had ever been in, analogous to a throne room, of sorts. Walking down the carpeted runway, she could vaguely see a throne upon a dais at the far end of the room.  Sitting upon that throne was a middle-aged woman, ornately dressed with a white staff by her side. 

            The woman spoke, her voice calm and cool, scanning her new audience.  “Welcome, the three of you to the Bureau of B-" Her breath hitched upon seeing Lup and she just stopped, staring, bewildered.  Unsure of what to do, Lup weakly waved in her direction. The woman blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. “Oh, uh, my apologies.  You just… you look an awful lot like someone I used to know.” She shook her head and regained her composure. “Welcome, the three of you, to the Bureau of Balance!  It is a pleasure to have you. I’ve heard a lot of great things about your performance from Killian. Oh, but before we go any further I’m going to need you to hand over the gauntlet so we can destroy it promptly.”  She clapped her hands, “Davenport! Davenport!” 

           Upon her beckoning, a well-dressed gnomish man walked out, holding a silver tray upon which a coin purse seemed to rest.  “Please pay them for their work, Davenport.” He held up the tray higher, imploring them to take their payment. Well, not what she was expecting, but sure.  Lup scooped up the coin purse. 

          “So, what do we call you?”  Magnus asked the woman. “Uh, the Director is fine.  Madame Director is also fine.” “Lady Director! Got it!”  Merle confirmed. “Well, no.” She disagreed. “Now, uh, if you could just hand over the gauntlet, we can get on with destroying it.”  Lup was a bit unsure. She looked up at the Director. 

         “Um, just, before we hand it over, could you just… tell us a little more about your organization?”  “Uh, well, you’re the three that conquered Magic Brian, right? And-” “Remember Phandalin?” “I, uh, yes I- sadly, I do.  Um, we’ve been tracking the three of you-” “Good, treasure that memory. Wait, tracking us?” The Director ignored her suspicion.  “The Bureau of Balance has a singular purpose, and that is to collect and destroy, certain... Let’s call them weapons of mass destruction. I guess you could call us a sort of disarmament organization, who is tasked with, uh, making the world safer by destroying the things that threaten it, namely powerful artifacts like the gauntlet that you have in your possession right now.”  “Seems pretty solid!” Magnus seemed fine with this, at least. Lup looked over in astonishment. Did neither of them hear that bit about them being tracked!? 

            A pair of guards entered the room, wheeling over a small, dark, leaden orb with a small, circular panel of glass.  Despite just about every part of her body telling her not to and that this situation was super sketchy, Lup removed the gauntlet from its resting place in her robe and placed it within the orb.  It wasn’t really like she had a choice at this point, anyway. The guard sealed the orb and brought it behind a curtain at the side of the room. The Director waved them over to a large viewing window to watch.  She tapped her staff on the glass and the ball began to rise into the air. Pillars of light shot out and stabbed through the sphere and, goddamn, of  _ course _ it was bright.  Lup looked down, grimacing, waiting for the light show to complete, lasting about a minute or so.  Then the lights ceased.

          The same guard that had wheeled it in, wheeled the orb back out.  Looking in, she could see that it was now completely empty. The Director spoke up again, but Lup wasn’t listening.  She was counting through the gold they had just received, trying to add it into her total. Let’s see, that’s six hundred, plus that three hundred she stole from that dead dwarf… and that two-twenty she took from that cart… one thousand and twenty pieces!!!  And all she had to do was loot most of it! Oh, wait, she had to split this. Well… three hundred and forty still wasn’t too bad… 

         Lup turned her attention to find the Director smiling politely.  “That gauntlet you just destroyed is responsible for some of the worst atrocities our world has ever known.  It was a very special, extremely powerful magic item. That weapon was created by a band of wizards and warlocks and other magic-users, who refused to limit themselves.  They refused to reign in their experimentation, if you will, and that resulted in the creation of what we call the Grand Relics. There are seven of them in the world. Well, six now, I suppose.  This is our first- We’ve searched so long for these relics, and-” Lup cut her off. “Woah, woah. I need to clarify something. Just so I’m clear, your whole organization, which operates from the moon, before we came in, the score was  _ zero _ ?”  “Well-”  “I couldn’t get out of a tunnel without nearly dying, and we just destroyed one!”  “Well, two assertions.” The director sat up, fixing her posture. “First of all, don’t sell yourself short, I’m sure you’re capable of much more than that.  Secondly-” “Yeah, Lup, we can get out of whole caves!” Magnus reminded her. “Right. Thanks, Mags.” Lup was unsure of Magnus’ idea of consolation.

            “Secondly,” The Director continued, “How long do you think we’ve been in operation?”  “Honestly? Madame Director? It sounds like it’s been about half an hour.” Lup spoke, blunt.  She smiled in response, “Well, uh, we, the Bureau of Balance, as you now know us, has only been in operation for a little less than a year.  What we do was not possible until we discovered the voidfish. See, the war and the calamity and turmoil that the three of you now remember was a direct result of these relics.”  She took a breath. “When these items were crafted, and word about their power spread, every kingdom in the land, every political organization, every mercenary guild, every religious community founded their own attempts to claim them for their own. And that contest for these relics led to a war the likes of which our world had never seen, and we simply couldn’t do what we do now until that turmoil subsided.  And the only way that we could force it to subside is to make everyone forget about the relics in the first place.”

               “Sounds like you’re offering us a gig.”  Merle shifted, considering the offer. The Director nodded her head.  “I would be happy to offer the three of you jobs as reclai-” Magnus interrupted her with a very important question.  “Do we get a license to kill?” She opened her eyes in surprise. “Um… you  _ don’t _ .  Uh...”  Lup was somewhat disappointed.  Apparently, that seemed to be something she was pretty good at.  “Well, I mean, you  _ can _ , you just, you don’t need one.  Um, and, if you could just- just keep the collateral damage to a minimum, please.  I would be glad to hire the three of you as reclaimers!” 

               “Let me explain;”  the Director leaned back in her chair, folding her hands on her lap.  “Our organization is made up of three main roles. We have seekers who look out for any information that can aid in the finding of these relics, but they are forbidden from claiming them themselves.  That is where you come in: the reclaimers. This is actually a very hard position for us to fill, because most of the time anybody who discovers one of the grand relics is unable to fight off the temptation to claim it for their own.  Ah- but, the three of you have proven that you are capable of, avoiding that temptation and so we would be happy to have you, as a part of that illustrious role.” She smiled politely again before continuing. “That brings us to the third role, which we call the regulators.  Anybody who uses information gathered about the relics for their own whim, anybody who uses a relic, even once, uh, will be hunted down and properly dealt with by the regulators.” She shifted again. “I will be happy to welcome the three of you on board the Bureau of Balance as reclaimers, the only thing standing in the way is the test, if you wish to get your bracers.”

              “Is it, like… written?”  Lup was pretty down for this.  Again, she didn’t really have much of a choice, so she might as well just go with it.  But considering what she’d been through that day, she was getting pretty suspicious of just about everything.  What exactly was this test gonna test her for? “Well, no, there’s no written portion. I just need to know, between the three of you, which of you is the smartest?  Which of you is the strongest? And which of you is the bravest? I’ll let the three of you talk amongst yourselves.”

 

                The trio turned in to each other.  “Well, Lup, you have a lot of street smarts.”  Merle observed. “Well, okay, thanks, but I don’t think that’s what she means here.”  Lup’s ears twitched in agitation. “Well, let’s see…” Magnus crossed his arms. “Lup, you’ve been unconscious quite a bit,”  She cringed. “So we probably wouldn’t wanna have you focusing on whatever it is the Director has in mind. So, I would say that Merle’s the smartest, I’m the strongest, and I guess that would leave you with bravest.  Unless it’s like, strength of will. In that case, I can do bravest, I don’t really care.” He turned to the Director. “So, quick question, Director.” “Yes?” “When you say strongest, do you mean physically? Or like-"  “I cannot tell you any more. You are in the test now.” “You can, you just choose not to.” “Oh, you're so deep in the test. Goodness, just knee-deep in test town.” 

                 “Alright. I'm smartest-" Merle was interrupted by the Director.  “Well, listen to you.” “No, wait-" Lup took over. “I'm the bravest, I guess.”  “And I'm strongest!” Magnus finished. “Okay.” The director tapped her staff on the ground and the three fell to the floor, unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to mention this in case any goofs seemed out of place; I'm heavily referencing the episodes as I write the chapters and I've been trying to work in either quotes that seemed to have been forgotten or things that the boys themselves say out of character. Also! I can only write about one more chapter before I have to write in Lup with her roommates, so any help would be appreciated. Please comment below!


	10. The Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup is not as good at stealing as she thought she was. Merle throws a bunch of bottles. Magnus discovers a new hobby.

            Lup woke up alone.  Because of course she did.  She rolled over onto her stomach and pushed herself up into a kneeling position.  Her hands were… dusty? She looked around to find herself on the dirt floor of a large, circular arena.  Strangely enough, Lup had woken up in stranger places. Like a fucking cave, for example. All around the arena were three large, iron-lattice gates and in the center was a giant stone pillar.  Squinting, she could see vaguely see Merle sitting in an alcove on an outside wall. He was strapped to… _something_.  Hell if Lup could figure out what it was.  She noticed a long shadow cast along the arena and looked up to find a sky-bridge with Magnus stationed on top of it, waving down when he noticed her.  Lup grimaced and she waved back weakly before standing up.

           The Director’s voice sounded out through an intercom and into the arena.  “Welcome to the test of initiation. The point of this test is to balance the combatants that will soon enter the arena where Lup is currently in repose.  These foes are going to be far too strong for you to fight outright. You will need to work together to ensure that they defeat one another, as the consequences of allowing one too much power will be quite dire indeed.  Merle, you are strapped into a very special cannon, which you will use to keep these monsters at equal footing. Each of the different potions that the cannon is equipped with will affect these ogres in different ways. You have one that can heal, one that can hurt, one that can strengthen, and one that will draw the attention of the other two.  You only have one of each of the different types of ammunition.”

            “Lup, you are going to be in the arena with the ogres.” Oh, fucking lovely.  “I would not recommend attempting to fight them.” No shit. “Certainly you could try, though.  You are able to use any of your magical tools in this test, if you so choose. Uh, I would recommend _not_ doing that, because they’re very big and very strong, as ogres typically are.”  Lup groaned internally. “Your test will be to retrieve three gemstones from various parts of these ogres’ person, and by doing so, you will grant Merle extra ammunition for the cannon, which will in turn help you pass this test.  Each gem that you collect will grant one of each type of ammunition. If you draw their ire, though, you will almost certainly perish, as many before you have. We have a very high turnover rate, here at the Bureau of Balance.” So all she had to do was steal some shit?  Man, she wasn’t a rogue, but she was _all_ about this.  That last comment about the success rate wasn’t too encouraging, though…  “To aid you in this test, you will have a single vial of an invisibility potion.”  Lup felt her robe for the vial, confirming its existence. Well, that’ll probably be helpful.

               “Magnus, you have been designated the strongest, and in this test you will use your strength to protect your allies.  You stand in the center of the skybridge, next to a button that, if pressed, will emit a shock to both Merle and Lup, which will incapacitate them for a short time.  If any enemies, who will approach from either side of the skybridge, press that button, your friends will, be harmed and paralyzed temporarily. So you will need to use your strength to protect that button at all costs.”  Well, shit, sounds like Lup’s gonna be electrocuted pretty thoroughly here.

             “If the three of you understand the test fully, we can begin.”  Lup leaned her weight onto one foot and crossed her arms. “Get some shiny things off some monsters.  I dig, let’s do this.” A buzzer sounded, causing Lup to uncross her arms in surprise, and the three gates lifted up.  Entering the arena, Lup could see three ogres: A small, blue one, an average-sized, green one, and a large, red ogre. They didn’t look armed, but they absolutely looked like they could easily slaughter Lup, should they choose to.  Well. Fuck.

             Lup’s vision was still not quite working as it should be, so she moved her head, looking desperately for a glint of light indicating the presence of a gemstone.  She was met with two reflections, blue and green, on their respective ogres’ forehead and chest. Yeah, okay. She bolted between the red and blue ogres, trying to avoid their glance.  Her current plan was just to run and not die. Pretty damn solid, if you asked her!

            There was a crash of breaking glass and Lup swung her head around to find that Merle had launched a potion at the red ogre, coating him in a red fluid of some sort.  Lup jumped back when she saw the green ogre, enraged, suddenly charge and attack the red one. A sound of splitting metal sounded from above.

           Ah, shit, she should probably do something now, shouldn’t she?  Okay, uh… She looked up at the blue ogre’s forehead. Well, she should probably get to stealing, shouldn’t she?  But there was no way she was gonna be climbing that thing, especially not without him noticing her. She swung her arms down in frustration, stopping when her umbrella made a _thunk_ against the ground.  Oh. Right. Magic. One would think it would be harder to forget that they were a magic user.  Well, whatever. Lup cast out a spectral hand and effortlessly plucked the gem out, turning to dust upon its removal.

           Another two crashes and Lup turned to see the red ogre now covered in a green liquid and- oh SHIT, he was running towards her.  Lup, absolutely petrified of what this hulking beast was about to do to her, stiffened up and held her breath, frozen in fear. To her surprise, though, the ogre just runs up behind the pillar and begins to hide.  She exhaled and glanced over to see the other two ogres just wailing on each other, for whatever reason. Another metallic sound from above.

            _And_ back to Lup.  She glanced back at the now very injured red ogre.  Well, fuck it. She sure as hell wasn’t gonna deal with the other two right now.  It was time to climb this fucking thing and steal its shit. And if she died along the way?  Well, wasn’t quite the way to go? Pretty in-line with her choices thus far. But if she was gonna do this, she wasn’t gonna be an absolute idiot about it.  Lup was gonna do this fast. She took a step back before sprinting full-speed at the ogre, jumping up to the pockets on his shorts, ignoring the fact that this was the only ogre wearing actual clothes for some reason, missing him completely, and- wait, shit, no.  She missed!? How could she have missed!? That wasn’t supposed to be the hard part here!!! Nope, fuck this, bad plan, she knew it all along. She sprinted back to her previous position, breathing heavily. And just _what_ was she supposed to- _OW._  She fell back, having been hit with a vial.  “What the FUCK, Merle!?” Her anger quickly disappeared as she suddenly felt empowered, stronger.  A second crash, and the blue ogre was coated in red liquid, soon being charged by the red one, who had given up his hiding spot.  The green one followed, dealing a punch that- oh god. Yeah, no, that _definitely_ killed the blue ogre.  No way around it.

               Yet another sound from above and a… ripping?  A ripping sound? Lup looked up to see- WHAT THE ABSOLUTE **_FUCK_ **.  Looking on in horror, Lup could just barely see well enough to find Magnus very slowly and deliberately ripping the arms off of… a humanoid figure of sorts.  Wow, she sure picked quite the pair of adventurers to entrust her safety with, DIDN’T SHE!?

              She groaned, stressed, and turned her attention back to the ogre situation.  Blue? Dead. Red? Almost dead. Green? Doing pretty okay still. What now?  She still felt emboldened, so she probably shouldn’t waste her turn, but she also was starting to feel pretty burned out.  Ugh, uh, magic missile? At the green? Yeah, okay. Not too creative, but it was _something_.  She cast all three at the ogre, hurting him severely, but not killing him.  Shattering glass, and the red ogre was doused in a green liquid before falling over, dead.  Cool and all, but now she was alone in here with an ogre who she had just blatantly attacked.  Lup looked over hesitantly to find said ogre charging at her with an open hand. Well, she had good run.

            The collision sent her flying backwards, landing on something hard with a crack.  Oh no. Oh _no._ She didn’t just break her umbrella, did she!?  She looked down, frantic and panicked, desperately grabbing her staff to check for damages.  She sighed in relief. Her umbrastaff was fine. But, then, what broke? She shifted, wincing in pain as she felt something sharp cut across her leg.  Oh. The invisibility potion in her pocket had shattered upon impact and some of the vial had sliced her mid-thigh. She looked down to try to asses her wound, but was surprised to see that she was now faint, almost transparent.  Looking back at the ogre, it seemed as though he could no longer see her. Oh, yes, she was _absolutely_ gonna use this to her advant- her train of thought was interrupted as a click sounded from above and a wave of electricity coursed through her body, sending her back down to the ground.   _Ow._  

             Lup groaned, upset at her wasted invisibility.  She pushed herself up onto her knees and glared down, surprised to find that she was still invisible.  She winced again as she felt glass cut into her leg again. Oh! She had landed back in the potion. Her leg was kinda fucked up now, but she was _not_ letting this chance go to waste.  She got on her uninjured knee and prepared to strike- wait, what?  Lup looked over, perplexed. There was glass scattered all around the arena and Magnus was charging the remaining ogre.  She looked up to see that the sky-bridge was no longer there. He broke it, didn’t he? Lup expected nothing less. He hit the creature with an axe, wounding it, but still not killing it.  He did, however, distract it. Cool!

               Lup ran around the ogre and close to Magnus, limping slightly, in an attempt to get her companion out of her line of fire.  She stood straight, her legs spread in an imposing stance, and pointed her umbrastaff up to cast a spell. Let’s see, what be a good way to finish this off?  A fireball? Yes, that sounded good to her. She charged up her spell and shot out a ball of fire, stronger than she probably should have been able to create, and hit the ogre, killing him.  She reappeared, offering her hand out to a very surprised Magnus for a high five. He immediately took her up on the offer. A crackle let out over the loudspeaker and the director’s voice sounded again.  “Well, uh… That was quite an unconventional way of, ah, doing that, but congratulations! You have passed the Test of Initiation!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a bit longer. I'll have finals for the next two weeks, so expect few updates, if any. As always, comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	11. Shopping, Stealing, and Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup wins a prize, legally makes a purchase, steals more items, and finally bathes, all in one day! Merle actually heals someone. Magnus should probably just stick to his chosen career path.

Having completed their trial, Lup, Magnus, and Merle walked back to the Director's room.  The Director greeted them with a sort of regal applause. “We're all very, very impressed.  We've seen a lot of different solutions to the test of initiation, but nothing quite so colorful as that.  So, congratulations are in order. The three of you are now fully fledged members of our order! We are happy to have you on as reclaimers, and we are pleased to present you with each of your tailor-made bracers.”  The three cheered, proud of their success. She clapped for Davenport again and the gnome walked out, carrying a tray with three bracers of various sizes resting on top of it.

                “Make sure that you put on the right one, because, ah, once those go on, they never go off.”  She was met with an onslaught of ‘Woah’s’ and ‘Hold up’. Merle, in particular, seemed concerned.  “Wha- never?” “I'm afraid not. These  _ are  _ permanent, so make sure you grab the right one so as to avoid discomfort.  Oh, and be sure to put these on your non-dominant hand.” Davenport pushed the tray up higher.  Yeah, sure. Lup had had enough of a day that she wasn't really gonna try to question this anymore right now.  She grabbed the thinnest bracer and placed it on her left wrist, the clasps disappearing upon their closure, leaving a seamless band of silver.  Her companions did the same with their respective bracers. She looked back up at the Director. 

               “Welcome to the club.  This is very exciting, we have not had new reclaimers in quite some time.”  She folded her hands in her lap. “You three have already been paid handsomely your finder’s fee for reclaiming the gauntlet, and you will be paid as such each time you find a Grand Relic.  There are six left. Your duties will include following up on information from our spies and seekers and we will send you out on missions where you will do what you did in Phandalin. Um, ideally without the destruction of an entire city and also thousands of souls.”

               “Now, uh, as for-"  “I want a dog!” Magnus interrupted her.  “I- excuse me?” “I just want a dog!!!” “No, no dogs are allowed on the moon, unfortunately.”  “What!?” “Yeah, they just run right off the goddamn thing.” “But I-" “No dogs.” Magnus looked absolutely devastated.  Lup could probably smuggle a dog up here sometime.

                “Now, uh, we have actually permitted an independent retailer on our campus.  You may, if you wish, spend some of your money at the Fantasy Costco. No dogs.  But! In addition to monetary rewards, we do have a system in place for allotting you each a certain measure of power.”  Lup flicked her ears up in interest. 

                   “Now, of course, the strictures of our order prohibit us from granting each other magic items.  However, we do have a clever workaround for that, and Davenport will now pay you your final reward.”  She clapped again and Davenport came back out with another tray, this one carrying three large, copper tokens.  “If you present those to our resident artificer, he will help you out with acquiring a few new tools that you can use on your adventure.  Leave this dome and head to the third dome on your right. Inside, you will find the artificer’s chambers. I will send someone down to take you to your new dormitories once you've finished your business.  Do you have any questions about your new job?” “Is there a health plan?” “Just don't die.” 

                   Lup actually did have a question.  “Is there, like, a Bureau of…  _ im _ balance?  Or…?” “As far as we know, the rogue wizards, who called themselves the Red Robes-"  Lup glanced down at the robe around her waist. It was dark, dirty. It looked as though it  _ may _ have been red at one point, maybe?  She shook her head. No, no, there's no way she was involved with those people.  She just picked an unfortunate robe color, is all. Still, she… should probably buy a new, non-red robe.  “-as far as we know, the rogue wizards who created all of these weapons of mass destruction are long gone.  Most of them were killed in the mad hunt for these relics, but no, we have not seen any red robes. Um, if you  _ do  _ see a red robe-"  “Kill them, got it.”  Magnus finished her sentence.  “Well, no, don't. It's imperative that you bring them to us,  _ alive,  _ as they could hold invaluable information.”  Lup shifted uncomfortably. “What if it's just a regular person in a red robe?”  “Well, I guess just be careful and use your best judgement. Anything else?” “Nope.”  

                 Satisfied, the three walked outside and towards the artificer’s dome.  Right before reaching it, however, Lup pulled Merle aside. “Hey, Merle?”  “Yeah?” He seemed confused. “You're a cleric, right? As in, you can heal?”  “Yes…?” “Alright,” She huffed. “Now, this may come as a shock to you, but I'm rather blind.”  “Yeah, no shit.” “Well-okay.” She grimaced, unamused. Apparently it was rather obvious. “Look, I went completely blind due to an injury, and when Magnus healed me with that potion back in that cave, I regained some of my sight.”  He nodded in understanding. “So, I was wondering if you could heal me? And maybe that would return the rest of it?” Merle shrugged casually. “I mean, yeah, sure, that makes sense. So, should I just-" “Yeah, go for it.” She stepped back, waiting.  Merle took out a figurine of sorts and muttered something. A light shot towards Lup and she closed her eyes instinctively. After a few moments, she reopened them. And she could see. Like, actually see! Darkvision and all!!! She smiled wide and giggled in excitement before turning back to Merle, whom she could now see clearly.  “Thanks, man. I owe you one.” Her expression faltered. “Ah, but we probably shouldn't have left Magnus alone, should we?” “Absolutely not, let's go.”

                 The two ran back to see Magnus throwing his axe at the few trees that lived in the area, missing every time and hitting what Lup assumed to be the artificer’s dome.  He pulled his axe out of one of the many deep cuts on the wall and looked towards the pair, waving. “Oh, hey! Where'd you guys go?” “Healed Lup real quick, she can see again now.”  “Ah, sweet!” “Yeah, it's great, um, Mags?” Lup tried to deal with this whole situation. “Isn't that… the artificer's dome you're axing up?” He looked over, somewhat dismayed, but mostly oblivious.  “Oh, is it?” “No, it's fine. Maybe he didn't notice.” That was a blatant lie. Of  _ course _ he noticed.  

                 The three walked into the chambers, Lup leading the way.  Inside was was a gnome with a long, white beard, angrily sitting behind a desk and glaring at the door.  “Which one of you was throwing shit at my dome.” Magnus hid his axe behind his back. “Oh, no, it wasn't us,”  Lup lied, her face taking on an innocent look. “We actually just chased away whoever that was before coming in.”  The gnome huffed, still annoyed, but having seemingly believed her. “Uh, okay, sorry, come in.” They stepped in and Lup noticed a large machine filled with capsules of various sizes and colors.  Man, it was so nice to be able to see again. 

                “Welcome to my chambers; my name is Leon.  I assume the three of you have been paid some tokens?”  Lup moved her hair out from in front of her face and nodded, now in a pretty good mood.  “Mm-hm!” She held her token up. “Great! As I'm sure the three of you have been informed, uh, we are not allowed to give one another magical items.  However, we can allow Lady Luck, or whatever you'd like to call it, to grant you magic items using this special machine. Any items that are picked up in the field and not used by agents go into the machine.”  “I won't end up with magic socks, will I?” Magnus sounded greatly dissatisfied. “Uh, god knows! You could end up with magic socks, you could end up with… a spear made of dragon boners or something. I don't know!”  “That actually sounds pretty rad!” “I, uh, I don't know what you're going to end up with, you don't know, it's all very exciting. If you have any questions about the items that you have found or anything, you can let me know and I will look it up in this big book of mine.”  He looked down at Lup’s umbrella. “Oh my, where did you find this?” Surprised, she looked at her umbrella and twirled it a few times. “Oh, uh, I'm not really sure. I've just kinda always had it, I think.” “You should count yourself very lucky, Miss. There are very few of these in existence.  And what makes this staff so interesting is that it has the ability to consume the power of any magical item used by a wizard that you have bested in combat, and your powers will become stronger. So be sure to hang on to that, because it is quite a rare find.” “Excellent. Thanks a bunch.” She lazily leaned her weight against her staff behind her.  “Oh! One thing,” Magnus reached into his pack behind him and pulled out- now, why the fuck did he keep the arms? Lup sighed internally, hardly surprised by this behavior now. “Woah, what the fuck did you guys do!?” “It was fate! Fate did this to the robot!!!” “I- sorry, but robots are not my area of expertise…” “Okay, I'll just hang on to it.”  “Now, uh, who would like to spin first?” 

               Merle stepped forward with his coin.  “I'll go first.” He put his coin in the slot and started to turn the handle.  After a few turns, a very, very small capsule popped out of the door under the crank.  He picked it up an opened it. Inside was a small clasp, an earring of sorts. Merle walked over to Leon and waited, waving Lup over to the machine.

                  Now, to the untrained eye, Lup may have looked like she was a woman who knew how to operate a machine such as this.  Not so! Having been cut off from society for the past decade, she was kind of behind on modern technology. Yes, even hand-crank technology.  But Lup’s a real go-getter, so she walked up with confidence. She could probably figure this out. How hard could it be? After all, it was only a- ah, shit.  She couldn't figure this out. It looked unexpectedly intricate and complex. “So,” she started, trying to stall for time. “I have a coin.” “Yes, Miss, just go ahead and put it in the machine.”  Leon replied, politely. “Will do! Just…  _ where _ does... the  _ coin…  _ go?”  Yeah, there was no saving this.  Lup had absolutely no idea what she was doing at this point.  “I-into the… the coin-shaped hole… on the front of the machine.”  Oh. There. Yes, that did make sense. She put the coin in the slot.  “Good! You're halfway there! Now just crank that handle.” She turned it to the left.  “No, to the right.” She turned it to the right. 

                Well, there goes her first impression with this guy.  Looks like she was gonna have to play the fool with him now.  Well, whatever. It's been awhile since she's had someone to mess with.  She grinned deviously as a small capsule popped out. She picked it up and walked over towards Merle while Magnus dealt with the machine.  She opened up her capsule to find a small, silver ring, adorned with a gently glowing, orange feather. She picked it up and it felt warm to the touch. 

                Having finished explaining Merle’s clasp, Leon turned to Lup.  “Let's see, rings- we have quite a few in there, so let's see… Ah!  That is a Ring of the Phoenix. You're very lucky to have received such a valuable item on your first spin.  Now, uh, ‘if the wearer is killed, in battle or however else, this ring will replenish their health and save their life, burning away after its use.’  Oh, and it also defends you against any fire-based damage.” “Cool.” She placed it on her left hand and looked at it admirably. Just then, Magnus came over and slammed a new axe on the desk.  “AXE.” “Yes, it is. Okay, um…” Leon was starting to look somewhat tired. “This is a very powerful axe-" 

                 While Leon was explaining the axe, Lup noticed her reflection in the glass of the capsule machine.  Dear  _ GOD _ , she was a mess.  Sure she had an excuse, but it no longer applied.  She had to take care of this as soon as possible. Her hair was long and matted, a light brown instead of its usual blonde due to dirt.  Gross. Her arms were lightly scarred and her sleeves were completely gone, if she had ever had any. She couldn't tell. What was left of her shirt was completely tattered.   Her boots were ragged and falling apart. Her robe was still tight around her waist, dirty and ripped almost completely to shreds, with the occasional bloodstain. That reminded her.  She turned her leg to see if she was still fucked up. To her surprise, the cut was gone. Oh, right, she had had Merle heal her. She was gonna need bathing and shopping, stat.

                   Lup turned her head back towards the men.  Leon was slightly exasperated now, “No, you don't get a token for every wizard you murder.  No more questions, get out of my dome.”

                    Well, it it looked like they were done here.  They walked out of the dome, Lup playing with her mess of hair.  She sighed, annoyed, before turning towards the two men. “Hey, either of you boys got a knife?”  “I do!” Magnus pulled out an old, rusty knife and handed to Lup. “Thanks.” She raised it to a clump of her hair, just under her chin.  “Wait, are you cutting your hair? Because I have something more efficient than that knife.” Intrigued, she lowered the knife. “And what's that?”  “Okay, Merle, grab the end of her hair and take a few steps back.” She looked back to see Merle grab the end of her hair, which easily reached the floor, tangled as it was, and took a few steps back, pulling it taught.  “Okay,” she turned her head back to face Magnus, “So what- THE FUCK!?”

               Lup jumped forward, narrowly missing the swing of his axe, splitting her hair, and some of her robe, so that it now ended around her hips.  She slowly looked up at Magnus, bewildered and upset. “WHAT. THE FUCK. MAGNUS.” “Well, I thou-" “NO. WHAT THE  **_FUCK_ ** .”  Lup had a feeling that Magnus cutting random things in half was going to be a common, potentially lethal problem.  She sighed, exasperated. “No, it’s fine. Just- put away your axe. I appreciate the effort, but that was fucking insane and I can handle this.  Maybe save the axes for another time?” Magnus put away his axe, somewhat embarrassed. She brought the knife back up to her hair, slowly cutting away small chunks at a time while the group walked.  She didn’t want to admit it, but honestly, that axe stunt sure did speed up the process quite a bit. However, realising she had no idea how short she was cutting her hair or what it looked like, Lup stopped cutting it when reached about halfway down her back and returned the knife to Magnus.  She could just buy a better, sharper one, anyway. Oh, shit! She still had all the gold!

               To her surprise, Lup came across a non-dome building.  The top of the building had a sign that read ‘Fantasy Costco.’  She gave her companions their shares of gold and walked in, a jingle playing when the doors opened.  Lup left the other two to shop independently. First things first, she needed new duds. These rank, cave-stained rags were not gonna cut it anymore.  She stepped in between racks of clothes, tightly packed together.

                 Let’s see, what could she legally purchase that didn’t completely suck?  After searching arduously, she settled on something simple, yet functional.  A plain, black tank top and dark orange arm sleeves. A pair of dark blue denim shorts over tights that matched her sleeves, and a new pair of boots, and she was done!  Oh, she needed a new robe, too. What was a witch without her robes? She looked at the array of colors. Uh, dark orange, she guessed. She seemed to have a theme going.  But wait, what was a witch without her hat? A respectable witch, that’s what. Lup had always hated those ‘witch’ hats. They were so damn stupid. She passed them up without a second thought.  And  _ now  _ she was done.  Shopping for clothes, at least.  It was time to buy some magic shit.  Oh, but she had spent a good amount of gold on her new wardrobe…

                It was time to steal some magic shit.  And maybe she’d actually pay for some. The night was still young, still plenty of time to decide.  She walked up the counter where Magnus and Merle had already collected a pile of magic items. Several items caught her eye right away.  First, an intricate wand that claimed to be able to switch the place of the user and a similar sized creature. Second, a plain, sharp-looking, silver knife.  Third, and most importantly, an unlimited pasta pass. She was  _ getting  _ that pasta pass, damn it.  No matter what. But there was no way she could afford  _ all  _ this shit.  She looked down in concentration, trying to figure out how she could possibly steal this.  That was when she noticed shards of glass embedded in a somewhat crusted area of her robe. Some of the invisibility potion from the test of initiation had dried up and stayed in the gross fabric.  She smirked and noticed Merle’s waterskin. “Hey, Mags?’ “Yeah, Lup?” She pointed to a glove that was across from her items of interest. “That seems like something you’d dig. Why don’t you check it out?”  “Oooh, that  _ does _ look cool!”  He waved over the sales clerk, distracting Merle as well.  

                 Slowly, carefully, she tipped the waterskin over to pour some liquid in her hand.  If her plan worked, she could rehydrate the potion, turn invisible, and take the pasta pass that should have  _ already _ rightfully been hers, honestly.  And also the wand. She could just buy the knife.  She didn’t wanna rob the one store on this moon blind, after all.  Lup brought the water to her robe. Seconds of continuous skin contact later, she turned faint again.  Hell yeah. Looking over to confirm that the clerk was still distracted, she jumped the counter and grabbed the pasta pass, shoving it in her waistband.  She reached over for the wand and- oh SHIT. As she reached over, Lup realised that she had just become visible again. What was left of the potion had worn off, revealing her presence to Magnus and Merle, whose eyes widened at her sight.  She silently mouthed to them for help. Magnus nodded enthusiastically and went back to distracting the sales clerk while Merle walked casually over towards her to silently help her down. She grabbed the wand and jumped down, working with the dwarf to keep from getting caught.  Lup quickly hid her items away and straightened up, quickly resuming an innocent aire. She had such good companions. Helping her rob a Fantasy Costco, no questions asked. She liked that in a person.

                  “Um, excuse me, clerk?”  She called over after seeing that Magnus had completed his purchase.  Of course he actually bought the damn glove. “Yes, Miss?” “Yeah, I’d like to buy that knife over there.”  She pointed to the blade, conveniently steering the clerk away from the suspiciously empty spaces she had just caused.  “Of course!” He handed her the dagger. Upon closer inspection, Lup could see that the handle was sculpted in the form of a dragon, the blade’s cover sculpted with matching wings.  Well, there goes the rest of her gold. It was a pretty knife, though. And it felt as though it held some sort of magical power as well. She slipped the knife into her waistband. She’d figure out its magic deal later.

                   The trio hurried out of the store before any trouble started and Merle handed Lup and Magnus both a stone.  “This is a stone of farspeech. We can use these to talk to each other from a distance.” Lup examined the stone before placing around her neck.  “So, Lup, what’d you steal?” Magnus seemed pretty excited. She held up the pasta pass. “Need I say more?” Magnus seemed less excited. “A… pasta pass?”  “An  _ unlimited _ pasta pass!”  He looked at her, puzzled.  “Uh, Lup?” “Yeah?” “You can literally never use that anywhere.  It’s actually worthless.” Well, fuck.

                                                =====================      

                   A pair of guards met the three and split up, one leading the boys, and one leading Lup.  She waved goodbye and followed the guard. She was lead to a dormitory and waved inside, where she was met with a familiar face sitting at a small table.  Killian!

                   The orc looked up upon her entry.  “Lup!” She stood up to greet the elf.  “I saw your test of initiation. I’m actually kinda impressed!”  She shifted her weight. “Oh, you’re probably our new roommate, aren’t you?”  “Probably.” “Uh, just put your stuff down here, and, uh…” She kinda leaned back, seemingly trying to figure how to phrase something nicely.  Lup shook her head and put her hand up. “No, it’s okay. I know I’m pretty gross right now.” Killian sighed in relief and pointed in a direction.  “The bathroom’s over there. Get cleaned up and I’ll introduce you to our other roommate.” Lup smiled in appreciation and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.  She leaned back against the door, letting out a long sigh.

                   She stayed there for a minute before looking up and into a mirror that hung above a sink.  Oh! An actual mirror! She walked closer to examine her face. Lup cringed, she was still wearing trace amounts of decade old eyeliner.  First things first, it was time to get rid of that. She turned on the tap and washed her face, cleaning away what had built up from ten years in a cave.  She looked back up and smiled gently at her reflection. Yes, that was better. Now to do something about her hair. It was tangled to a point at which no amount of brushing could ever fix it and mangled to point of… well, there was really no fixing that either.  She sighed and pulled out her dagger, which was somewhat warm to her touch. She unsheathed the blade to find it emitted a faint glow. Curious, she brought it slowly to a longer piece of hair. It cut through it easily, burning the part that had been sliced off.  _ Another _ fire item?  Looks like Lup had another theme going.  Well, whatever. It was working rather nicely, save for the singed hair smell.  Once she had finished, salvaging as much hair as she could, she was left with a sort of undercut, her hair longer on top, not quite reaching past her jawline, and the rest shorter, almost flat against her head.  Yes, that was  _ much _ better.  And she could see her ears again!  She perked and flattened them a few times, just because she could.  

                   Lup stripped away her crumbling attire and stepped into a warm bath of water.  She began to think. What a week  _ she’s _ had, huh?  She finally got out of that cave, which was pretty cool.  And she could see again! That was pretty cool too. She was pretty lucky, really.  And she knew it too. Hell, a place to sleep, clean clothes, no mushrooms, a paying job, and friends of some extent?  What were the odds? She sunk down in disappointment. Still, she was hardly any closer to figuring out her whole deal.  Why was she even in that cave? Who was she looking for? Why were they seperated? She exhaled deeply. And that Director…  She seemed nice, sure, but something was… off about her. Like she recognized Lup. Her excuse didn’t sound like a lie, no, and maybe it wasn’t.  But it was the way she stared in shock. Like she hadn’t expected to see Lup. Lup scoffed at herself. Well, of course she would have been shocked and unexpected to see her.  She was an absolute mess at the time, after all. Still, the Director seemed like a smart woman. Maybe she knew something about who Lup was looking for? It was a stretch. Lup shook her head.  That thought would be packed away for later.

                  After drying herself off, Lup changed into her new, far cleaner and more comfortable attire and walked back into the sleeping part of her dorm to see Killian, now joined by a small, dragonborn woman.  “Oh, hey, L-” She turned her head, shocked to now see a stunningly beautiful elven woman instead of a mess of grime and hair. Not that Lup wasn’t stunningly beautiful before, just that it was… hard to see under all that… cave stuff.  “Uh, wow, uh...” Killian seemed to be at an absolute loss for words, clearly not expecting this. The dragonborn giggled and elbowed her. Killian swatted at her, flustered. “If you saw her before, you’d understand! Ugh, anyway, this is her.”  She gestured to Lup and turned away, lightly flushed. The dragonborn grinned deviously before bounding over. 

                “So! You’re our new roommate, huh?  I’m Carey!” She extended her hand for a handshake.  “Lup.” “I work as a regulator on a team with Killian, over there, and Boyland, a dwarf you probably haven’t met.  But you’ll love him, I just know it!” She stood back and crossed her arms. “You one of the new reclaimers, right?”  “Yep!” Lup rather liked this girl. “Aw, so I guess we won’t be working, like, together, directly. But indirectly is better than nothing!  And, hey! We  _ are _ rooming now!”   Lup nodded in agreement.  “Speaking of, there, like, any rules I should know about here?”   Carey thought about it for a moment. “Uh… just don’t be a dick? That’s it, really.  Oh!” She swing her arms down for effect. “There’s only three of us here, including you!  So if there’s any new members, they might room with us, just a heads-up.” Carey pointed to one of the two bunk beds in the room.  “You can have either bunk over there. If we’re not here, we’re probably either training or out on a mission. That’s all!” She smiled, “Super great to meet you, again!”  Killian stepped towards the two ladies, having regained her composure. “Oh, and it’s lights out pretty soon, so maybe pick a bunk soon. We’re gonna head off.” 

                “Okay! G’night!”  Lup waved her new roommates off and slipped into the bottom bunk.  She didn’t feel like climbing right now. She sighed silently and placed her arms behind her head.  She couldn’t remember the last time she was in an actual bed. The lights went out and she closed her eyes, falling asleep before she could even think of anything else.  Well, there was always tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some train episodes!? They're coming soon, I promise! And if anyone would like me to draw Lup in her new look, due to confusion, curiosity, or whatever, comment below and I'll attach a link.   
> EDIT: Here's the picture of her nee outfit! https://catman-draws.tumblr.com/post/178675912301/a-picture-for   
>  Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	12. Prelude to a Train Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup learns why she shouldn't be a pilot, Merle learns why he shouldn't visit swamps, and Magnus learns that Lup hates walking.

A few weeks had passed since Lup had moved in.  She hadn't really seen Magnus or Merle during that time, but she had been getting to know her roommates better.  Killian was much nicer when neither one of them was trying to take the other hostage in a cave, and Lup had started getting along very well with Carey.  Carey was a rogue, she learned, and a pretty good one too, so they bonded pretty easily.

                 It was around three a.m. one night when Lup was startled awake by the sound of an intercom.  “Would the reclaimers Burnsides, Highchurch, and Luup report to the briefing room?” Ugh, seriously?  What was so important that it couldn't at least wait until morning. She looked over at the other bed.  Killian was still asleep, but the intercom had woken Carey up as well. She looked sleepily over to Lup and smiled at her with a thumbs up, “Good luck!”  she whispered before promptly collapsing again, quickly falling back asleep.

               Looks like she had no choice.  Lup jumped down off of her bed and grabbed her robe, wrapping herself in it before heading off to the briefing room.  She reached the dome, waiting a few minutes for Merle and Magnus to get there. By their appearance, they were just as tired and disoriented as she was, still wearing their pajamas.  Magnus waved sleepily at her before the trio stepped into dome, meeting the Director.

                 The Director was sitting, frustratedly reading a large roll of parchment.  Upon their entry, she set down the roll and took a deep breath.  _ “What _ are you wearing.”  She asked, monotone and somewhat disappointed. “Merle, I can see… three-quarters to four-fifths of your entire butt.”  Ugh, she was right. “Sorry I'm cheating you of a fraction.” She placed her palm to her forehead in exasperation and sighed.  “Okay, the three of you are going to need to suit up into your business regalia, because I have a job for you that I need you on right.  Now.” Lup’s eyes widened, she was suddenly more awake. A mission? Now? “Well, give me like, forty five minutes" Magnus told her. “We- you don't have forty five minutes, at most, I can give you four.”  “Ugh, okay.” Magnus begrudgingly started to remove his- WOAH! Woah!!! Lup grabbed the end of her robe and raised her arm up for cover. Now was not a good time to be stripping down!!! 

                  “Go on?” Lup encouraged the Director, now blocking her view of Magnus.  She folded her hands together on the desk, seemingly not at all surprised by what was happening.  “Mere hours ago, one of our reclaimers, a brave soldier named Leeman Kessler, was… murdered in the city of Rockport.”  She took a breath. “And his- his murder came at a most inopportune time, because he managed to locate and retrieve one of the Grand Relics.”  Oh? Already? Two in a few weeks was quite a step up from none in a year. “Last night, we received a missive telling of his success, but before we could extract him, a thick fog set in over Rockport, which prevented us from sending a sphere to collect him.”  Okay, sad and all, but what was Lup supposed to do about this?

                  “However, there is a commuter train that operates out of Rockport, through the mountain range that separates the continent below, and ends in Neverwinter, where we could safely and discreetly extract him.  He managed to secure a passage on this train and loaded his cargo, but before he could depart, he was… murdered. Which is, ah, leaving us in quite a sticky situation.”

                  “Do we know anything about the murderer or how it actually, like, went down?”  Magnus asked, still undressing for some reason. “We know nothing, we haven’t been able to get into contact with the authorities- and even if we  _ could _ , there’s not much information we could…. tell them.  It could lead to a very difficult situation for us. We can’t explain what he was doing there, why he was murdered- we don’t even know  _ why  _ he was murdered because, ostensibly, nobody would know about the Grand Relic unless they were in the Bureau of Balance.  There’s- we have a lot of unknowns.” “Do we know the status of the relic right now?” Lup asked, trying to glean as much information as she could.  As this was her first official mission, she’d like to try to fuck this up as little as possible. “It’s on the train, as far as we know. Um... and  _ that  _ is where the three of you come in.  We will need one of you, uh, it’s up to you to decide whom, uh…  Well, we will need one of you to impersonate Leeman Kessler.” She reached into her desk and pulled out several slips of paper.  “I have secured two other tickets on the train, so all three of you can board, but  _ one  _ of you will need to be Leeman Kessler. Uh, you will need to retrieve the Relic and get it back to us any way that you can.”

               “What will the other two be doing?”  Merle asked, seeming to be heavily considering that acting role.  “Uh, the other two will be ensuring that the new Leeman Kessler isn’t murdered.  Because obviously someone’s going around murdering Leeman Kesslers. This will also be a security job.”

               “If someone needs a bodyguard, I’d say I’ll be Leeman and that way our best fighter is able to protect me and our best magician is able to protect me.”  Merle decided, looking up for approval. Lup looked down at him and placed her hand over her chest in mock appreciation, “Why, Merle! I’m flattered!” “Yeah, as opposed to all our other magicians?”  Magnus teased. Lup promptly kicked him in response. She looked back at the Director. “So, Madame Director, what can you tell us about the artifact.” “Well, we know he collected an artifact, but if that missive had been intercepted in the air, that incredibly valuable and dangerous information could have fallen into enemy hands, so we purposefully keep it vague.”  Lup’s face reflected her disappointment and lack of astonishment. “Yeah, of course. Question two: are you going to fire us out of a cannon?” The Director nodded almost immediately, “We are  _ absolutely _ going to fire you out of a cannon.”  “Fantastic.”

                 The trio turned into themselves, about to leave the Director’s dome for the hangar.  “Alright, let’s go change clothes-” Merle was interrupted by Magnus. “Done!” Lup looked over in confusion.  Why… did he bring a change of clothes with him??? Whatever. It was better to just go with it. She looked down at what she was wearing.  Eh, it wasn’t too bad. She could probably ride a train in this. She certainly didn’t feel like changing, anyway. She looked back at Merle, “We’ll meet you at the hangar in five.”

                                  ===============================

                  Merle met back up with Magnus and Lup at the hangar, begrudgingly relaying a message to the former.  Magnus groaned before turning back to Lup, “Hey, Lup, we’re gonna have to pick up some pringles for our roommate on the way back.”  “O...kay?” She tilted her head. Not exactly sure  _ why _ anyone would need snacks at  _ this  _ hour, but sure.  Actually, now that she thought about it, Lup would love some snacks right now.  But alas, she had none.

                 While waiting for the other two to pass through security checks, Lup noticed Magnus had been stopped.  She tried to look over to see as to  _ why _ , but her vision was blocked.  Merle, however, had passed through and was now standing next to her.  “What did he do now?” Lup shook her head. “No clue.” When Magnus finally passed through and made it over to them, he was  _ wasted _ .  Like,  _ really _   wasted.  If memory served, Lup had gotten pretty drunk before, but never so drastically so quickly.  “Um?” She looked at Merle questioningly, who now had his head in his palm. “Pretty sure he drank that potion our roommate gave him.”  Who the _hell_ were these two rooming with!? Lup was suddenly much more appreciative of her roommate situation.

                  “ _ Luuuuuup~!”   _ Magnus wrapped his arm around her shoulders in a sort of hug, his words slurring.  “Yeah, hi, Mags. Let’s go, c’mon.” She started towards the area where they actually needed to be, dragging a very inebriated Magnus along with her, Merle following.  Seeing as it was about three in the goddamn morning, the hangar was virtually empty, with the exception of a familiar face.

                   “ _ Aviiiiiii~!”   _ Avi waved at the group, half asleep.  “Hey guy! What’s-” “Avi, I’m real fucked up.”  Magnus had switched from Lup’s shoulders now to Avi’s.  “O-oh, uh…” He looked towards Lup and Merle. “What happened to this guy?”  “Oh, hair of the dog that bit him.” Merle affirmed. “O-kay, uh,” He turned back to Magnus, “You, uh, you really aren’t supposed to get in one of these things if you’re-  I mean, I won’t tell-” “ _ Avi.  Avi. _ ”  “Yeah?”  “ _ Just be cool for two seconds. _ ”  Lup looked around the hangar, inspecting the area while Magnus drunkenly harassed this poor man.  Last time she had been in it, she was still half blind and covered in cave gunk. Like most things on this moon base, the hangar was spherical, dark, and covered in glass.  Inside was several black orbs, identical to the one she had ridden in on the way here, and several large cannons with which to shoot out those orbs. Or, she assumed that was their purpose, anyway.  Huh. She kinda… expected more. Then again, what did she know about secret moon base hangars?

                     Avi’s somewhat concerned voice brought Lup back to reality.  “Uh, have you guys used one of these before, is this your first time, getting, uh... gettin’ shot?”  She shook her head. “Okay! Well it’s, uh, it’s pretty easy, guys! Uh, just, uh, pop in-” He tapped on the glass sphere, opening a door.  The inside was exactly how Lup had remembered it. Four chairs, two rows, etc. Lup looked up to gesture for her companions to enter, but found them already gone.  Looking back, she could see Magnus, passed out in the back, and Merle, buckling him into two seats, already inside the orb. “Ooh, careful man, you’ll, like, definitely die if you do that.”  Avi warned. Lup stepped in, somewhat annoyed, pushing Magnus back up into one seat, allowing Merle to secure him correctly. “Fucking, why is this a thing? Can we just get in the fucking cannon normally, or what?”  

                     “So, uh,” Avi spoke up, starting to sound about as exasperated and tired as most people did after interacting with the three of them, “One of you is gonna need to sit in the front left seat up there.”  “On it.” Lup jumped up before anyone could say anything. She was taking  _ no _ chances here.  Between Magnus’ intoxication and… Merle, she was kind of objectively the best choice here.  “Okay, there should be a handle on the left side there, feel it?” She reached down for the handle.  Why, yes, she did feel it. “Mm-hm.” “Okay, and this is super important, before it hits the ground you gotta pull the handle!  Right before it hits the ground! Or else you’ll go bang. Okay bye!” And with that, the door shut. Alright, great. Lup was in charge of the sphere now.  So, now all that was left for her to do was to wait and- yep, there, there it is. All of a sudden, the sphere was shot forward, flying at speeds that would have been very lethal, had they not been protected by the glass of the orb.  Actually, it was more like falling, wasn’t it? Well, regardless, it was an undesirable situation. Lup disliked this very much, actually. There could not have been a  _ less _ practical or  _ more _ terrifying way to travel.

                 Looking out of the glass, she could see the terrain down below.  The sun was just barely starting to rise over the mountain range as they began to descend over the range.  Well… as terrifying as it was, Lup had to admit it was somewhat beautiful. She leaned over a bit, trying to get a better look when-   **_CRASH._ **  Oh fuck, oh god, oh no.  Startled, Lup looked back forward to see that they had fallen into a flock of pegasi, effectively decimating a few.  All at once, the remaining pegasi swarmed the orb. It the midst of all the kicking and bucking and whatnot, Lup pulled the handle, which encased them in a faint silvery light.   _ Featherfall???   _ **_Now!?!?!?_ **  Aw,  **_shit_ ** .  The sudden change in their speed allowed the equine attackers to more effectively gang up behind the orb and shoot it down, sending it hurtling towards the ground and completely changing their trajectory.  They hadn’t even left the vehicle and already they had royally fucked this mission up!!! Perhaps Lup  _ shouldn’t _ have been in charge…

                 To everyone’s surprise, they didn’t crash.  Rather, it was a soft landing. Lup looked around, immensely confused.  She was currently upside down, hanging from her chair. Looking back, her companions were in very similar situations, only Magnus was now sober again.  How that man recovered from magic effects so quickly, she’ll never understand.  Assured that she wasn’t alone, Lup tried to look back outside. From what she could see, they had landed in a swamp of sorts. However, the place was surrounded by trees and foliage, so she couldn’t really see much. Looking over, the door with which to exit was currently facing down, covered by swamp. Great.  So how the hell did they get out of here. The damage from the attack had cracked the sphere in some places, she noticed, not enough to shatter the globe completely, but enough to allow water to start to slowly seep in.

                  Lup shuffled and shifted, trying to unstrap herself.  Damn it, this strap was strong. She grabbed her dagger and cut through one of the straps.  Unfortunately, this burned up more of the strap than she expected and she fell down with a thud, landing directly on top of Magnus… who had already gotten down, apparently?  She looked down at him, somewhat confused. “Woah, watch the knife, dude!” Oh shit. She looked up. Her dagger was currently stuck in the seat above, slowly burning away the cover.  Using mage hand, she quickly grabbed the blade, resheathing it. Yeah, she maybe… shouldn’t use that very often. At least, when she wasn’t in battle. 

                “So, do we just, like, roll this over?  Or…?” Merle questioned, having apparently already gotten down as well.  Lup looked out the glass. The sphere had already sunken about a third of the way into the swamp.  “I… don’t think that’s the best idea. We can’t really roll this without it sinking in more.” “I got this, guys.”  Magnus put Lup down and walked over to the wall. Without a moment’s hesitation, he reeled back and punched the wall full-force, shattering the glass, leaving a hole large enough to crawl out of.  Well… that works, she supposed. The three climbed out. Much to Lup’s displeasure, the swamp was thick and wet, hard to walk in without sinking. In an attempt to try to at least slow their descent, Lup froze the immediate area, though it didn't have much of an effect.  She leaned against the now frozen orb, trying to stay out of the mud as much as possible.  Then she heard a sort of goopy sound come from above. 

                  The hell? The only thing she knew that sounded like that were ochre jellies, and they never left the cave.  Oh, they probably burned up in that whole flame debacle, didn’t they? Ah, well. She looked up, but couldn’t see anything.  “Hello! Do you know where the train is?” Lup heard Magnus ask someone. She looked over. Who could he bepossibly be lking to?  “What up?” She was met with the sight of several eyestalks popping out from the tree branches. “...Hello?” Three large leeches came down from the trees.  Lup jumped away from half-sunken orb, sliding slightly on the ice. “...So I was asking about a train?” She looked over frantically at Merle, who had readied his weapon.  At least  _ one _ of them recognized the danger in this situation!!!  She grabbed Magnus by the back of his shirt and pulled him back, away from the leeches.  Meanwhile, Merle lashed one of them with a thorned vine of sorts. Then there was a loud crash, like metal cutting through wo-  Don’t tell her. Lup looked over to see Magnus had chopped a tree in half, sending it crashing down overtop the leeches, crushing only one of the three.  In response, one of the remaining leeches spat a fetid, dark yellow liquid at Magnus, who dodged it skillfully. 

                 While standing still, Lup noticed, she had begun to start sinking into the swap, even with the ice she had cast.  Now, she had sunk into the swamp almost up to her knees. Eugh. This made things difficult. However, she observed, she was not as bad off as Merle, who, due to his dwarven height, was sunken in about halfway.  She felt a little better, but not much. Just then, a leech had found itself onto Merle, and had begun to drain away blood. She felt better that that wasn’t her. “Uh- Merle? You fucking good there, bud???” She leaned back a little, trying to distance herself from…  _ that _ .  He rolled his eyes, as though this was a common occurrence, and offered her a thumbs up.  “It’s fine, I have blood to spare. I’m just pissed now.” Why does everyone keep saying that!?  What the fresh hell is going on with dwarven blood!? Lup had enough going on without these hemo-mysteries going on.  She shot a bolt of lightning at the leech who was currently feeding on Merle, knocking it off of him and next to the other leech.  And close to Magnus, who was just kind of kicking back on top of a tree stump. Lup sunk in farther, the swamp reaching up past her hips now.  

                    There was a burst of fire and Lup looked over to Merle, somewhat uneasy now, to check his swamp status.  He was gone. Completely sunken in, she guessed. She groaned, not really sure if she could do anything about that.  He was out of her reach and she couldn’t exactly move. Looking back down, the muck was now reaching up to her waist.  Fucking lovely. Lup heard footsteps rapidly approach and looked back over to see that Magnus had rushed over to pull Merle back out.  Okay, great their cleric wasn’t dead, but now they were all in this goddamn swamp water. Or… or not? Magnus hadn’t sunken in at all? She glared in realisation.  Oh, god damn it, they just to  _ move  _ to avoid sinking in, didn’t they!?  Fuck this, she was done with the ground in general.  Lup cast levitate on herself and sat cross legged in mid-air, just glaring a down at the leeches.  

                   Merle, now free from the depths of the swamp, ran over and hit one of the two leeches with his warhammer, finally killing the damn thing.  Magnus looked at Lup questioningly, expectantly. She shook her head. She was over this fight. She just needed it over with. Magnus shrugged and sped over to the final remaining leech, bringing his axe down on its center, effectively slicing this thing in half.  

                  Magnus raised his arms in celebration and stepped back.  “Alright, let’s go!” Lup’s relief quickly turned to apprehension as she realized the situation she had just put herself in.  “Uh, yeah, about that… I kinda… can’t move independently like this…” Without missing a beat, Magnus grabbed her wrist and started walking, dragging her forward.  Well, it was a good thing this guy was so okay with carrying her places. The less Lup had to walk, the better. 

 

                                       ============================== 

 

                   The walk to Rockport took long enough that Lup’s levitation had worn off.  All three of them were covered in various amounts of gross, dried liquids. Lup was waist down a swamp beast, Magnus was pretty much entirely covered in a horrendous yellow goop, and Merle… well, there was no way around it, he looked like an absolute shit monster.  They certainly weren’t in any condition to infiltrate a train or… do literally anything without offending everyone in the general area. Though, it wasn’t like they could do anything about it right now. She checked the time on a large clocktower in town. Ugh, the train was leaving in about half an hour. 

                 The city of Rockport was… certainly lively.  Industrial, if nothing else. Honestly, Lup was somewhat surprised at how busy the city was, considering it was built into the side of a mountain, after all.  They stumbled upon a man in a suit of armor. “Hi, I’m Tom Bodett. What do you guys need?” Oh, thank god, maybe he knew somewhere they could get cleaned up. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by Merle.  “Where’s the nearest brothel?” “Uh… a what now?” Lup put her hand over Merle’s face and pushed him backwards. “Ignore the shit monster. You know a place where we can bathe real quick?” “That’s… a strange request, Miss, but you do seem like you need it.  Uh, we have a bathetorium on the outskirts of town, about twenty five miles out. Lup’s shoulders sunk in dismay. Magnus seemed just as disappointed, “Well, that’s shitty, Tom Bodett.” The armored man straightened up and pointed behind himself. “I mean you guys can come back to my house, if you want, I’ve got, like, a hose.”  Yep, that’ll work.

                The four walked back to Bodett’s house.  “Uh, the house is right out here, but I’ve got a sprinkler too, if you guys aren’t in a hurry.  We could have some fun-” As tempted as she was, Lup had a scam to pull. “No, we really shouldn’t-”  Magnus put a hand on her shoulder to silence her and stepped forward. “Do you have a slip n slide?” “I absolutely have a slip n slide.”  The trio spent ten minutes having a sprinkler party with the man they had just met. The man walked back out, carrying a tray of drinks. “Who wants mimosas?”  Lup _absolutely_ wanted mimosas. “Sorry, Tom Bodett, we’ve gotta get out of here.” Magnus turned and began to run towards the center of town. Merle looked greatly disappointed and begrudgingly ran after him.  Lup grabbed two mimosas, thanked the man, and followed her party. 

                   Lup reached the ticket counter, minutes to spare, and handed one of the drinks to Merle, who brightened up upon receiving it.  Magnus was already talking with the ticket counter. He pointed to Merle, “And that’s Leeman Kessler. I’m his traveling bodyguard, the lady is too.  We already have tickets.” The ticket counter, who looked quite a bit like Tom Bodett, turned to look over at Lup and Merle. “Oh, Leeman, we have some of your luggage already on boa- oh, I’m sorry, no drinks are allowed on-”  Lup took a sip and cast sleep on the man. 

                  Magnus took a step back from ticket booth.  “Well, it’s a good thing I already got the tickets.”  He looked at Lup and made a face. “You only took two mimosas!?”  “I’m one woman, Mags. I can only carry so much booze.” The train whistled.  Lup shot back the rest of her drink and shoved the glass into her robe pocket before running up to board the train.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long, guys. Just a few more days of testing and I should have more time to write. Also, a month anniversary! A big thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read this so far! Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	13. Train Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup and the gang finally make it on board the train where they make several new friends, as well as new enemies!

            Lup stepped onto the train, Merle and Magnus only a few paces in front of her, and looked around, surprised by the ornateness and luxury of it all. Quite the step up from a musty cave. After walking through the main passenger entrance and into the passenger car, the three of them were met by a very tall and finely dressed elven man. Who had a mustache? Somehow??  
            The man spoke, his voice deep, flat. “Tickets and weapons, please.” Lup casually slid her umbrastaff behind her leg, attempting to hide it a little without drawing attention to herself. The three handed over their tickets. The man grabbed the tickets and, after a minute of studying them, raised his eyebrows ever so slightly, exclaimed, “Oh, Leeman Kessler! Oh, yes, I understand we’re carrying a very precious piece of cargo for you in the caboose.” He put away the tickets somewhere behind him before assuming a rather professional looking pose. “My name is Hudson. I am the engineer of this train. Welcome aboard; we’re happy to have you. We know that you have lots of choices to pick from for subterranean inter-city travel here, and we sure do appreciate the fact that you picked us!”  
            Hudson pointed to a door behind him. “I will be in here for the entirety of the trip. I will not be coming out, as a security measure.” Looking past the man, Lup could see what appeared to be a rather sturdy looking door, made entirely out of solid metal, with the exception of a small window slot for looking through. “After the trip is complete, I will escort you to the cryptsafe and help you retrieve your luggage.” Lup raised an eyebrow at that. “Cryptsafe?” Hudson looked at her, somewhat surprised that she didn’t already know what that was. “Um, yes, all luggage and weaponry will be locked in a cryptsafe in the caboose for the entirety of the trip.” Upon Lup’s sustained look of confusion, he explained. “What makes this special is that the cryptsafe is time-locked. Meaning only a Rockport Limited employee can open it with one hour of sustained physical contact. So it’s not like a, even if a robber somehow did manage to get onboard, or if somebody managed to pass our screening process, and get onboard a train, they are not going to be able to pop it open, they would need somebody who works here to do so, and they would need to stand there for, uh, an hour, which just simply would not happen! It is the safest way to get your belongings from Point A to Point B.” Lup nodded in understanding. Sounds tedious, but sure.  
            “Now, before you go, I will need to collect your weapons from you to be locked up in the safe. You’ll never even know they were gone.” Lup had a feeling that Magnus was about to say something that would derail the whole interaction, so she pulled out her sheathed knife and presented it to Hudson. “Here.” She stepped aside after handing it off. Merle gave up a warhammer and a small axe, while Magnus, however hesitantly, handed over his axe. Satisfied, the engineer waved them off towards the passenger cars and turned to leave.  
            Lup followed closely behind Magnus and Merle into the passenger car. Looking in, she she could see three other passengers, all sitting apart from each other. There was a stout, dwarven woman with muscles that would put even Magnus to shame, looking uncomfortably out the window. Sitting a few rows behind her was a young boy dressed in incredibly fancy attire, reading a book. And sitting a few rows behind him was a man dressed in trashy wizard robes with a great, bushy beard. The trio passed through the car and into the next, to be met with another elven man, fairly tall and wearing a sort of technicolor bow tie in addition to his uniform. He greeted them, his voice low, thick, and… all around very easy to make fun of.  
            “Oh, new passengers. Hello, I... haven’t met you. Welcome to the train. My name’s Jenkins. Can I help you find your seats or-” “I like your tie, Jenkins. Tell me about it.” Lup smiled politely, trying to pave the way for the other two to start harassing the man, the same way they did with seemingly every person they met. “Oh, this is my flair, on Tuesdays we-” “What does it do?” And there goes Magnus, ready as ever. “It, uh-” “Tell me about it, stud!” “Well, -” “Does it spin!?” “Goddammit, can I talk?” “I wanna unfold it.” Jenkins brought his hands up in a ‘hold on’ manner. “Wait, stop. Let’s start over.” He held his hand out for a handshake. “Hello, I’m Jenkins. I’m the wizard attendant on the Rockport Limited. I will-” Magnus reached out to poke the man’s bow tie. “I- okay, I guess.” “No, you can keep going.” Magnus assured him.  
            Merle leaned in a bit. “Are you an attendant who’s a wizard, or are you an attendant for a wizard?” Jenkins was looking rather dissatisfied now. “ I am a wizard who attends to your needs on the train. You let me know if you have any questions. I can take your bags, and I have a few other luxury services I can provide. Uh, I can take you into one of our pleasure rooms-”  
            Immediately, and almost completely in sync, all three of them jumped a good six feet away from Jenkins, spouting variations of ‘I’m cool’ and ‘No thank you’. “Oh, no, it’s not nearly as salacious as I made it sound. It’s just when I say things with my voice, it always sounds like I’m talking about slow sex.” Lup nodded uncomfortably, making sure to keep her distance. “Now, can I take your bags?”  
            Jenkins led the three into their assigned sleeper car and helped them unload all their luggage into it. The car was small with a triple bunk bed. “This is the sleeper car. You can rest in here. The trip will take about three hours once the train departs, which it should any minute, so you won’t need a full night’s sleep. But if you’re feeling nappy, this is a place where, historically, people sleep.” Jenkins straightened his posture, starting to look a bit tired. “Now, of course, the car that you passed through coming in was the passenger car, and that is a car that is great for sitting-” “Hey, Jenkins, can I ask you a question?” Magnus interrupted. “I would prefer if you didn’t.” “I saw a dwarven woman in there, and I swear I recognized her, and I can’t remember her name, and I don’t want that awkward moment, you know what I mean? Do you have any information on her?”  
            Jenkins shifted, “I’m not supposed to share-” “Come on!” “-privileged information regarding-” “Jenkins…” “-the identity of-” “Jenkins!” “We run a very discreet travel service-” “Jenky…” “God, okay. But you didn’t hear this from me.” “Okay!” Lup was somewhat surprised that worked. “Have you ever heard of Jess the Beheader?” She had not. Magnus and Merle, however, have. “Oh, yeah!” “She is a famous Midworld Wrestling Federation star. Of course, I don’t know why they call it wrestling because it is a blood sport. Uh, there’s not much grappling as there is uh, you know, deadly melee. But, um, she has a very particular way of dispatching her foes.” “Is it possibly… decapitation?” Lup leaned on her staff. “Well, yes, uh-” “Get it, Jenkins?” She turned to her companions. “That was a little wizard joke right there, a joke between us wizards.” “Well-” “So what brings her aboard?” Jenkins took a breath. “Well, I, uh, I don’t know what brings her on the train. I do know that I did have to carry her axe into the back car, and boy howdy, did that thing weigh a metric ton. Uh, but I don’t mean to complain. I’m happy to do the work.”  
            Lup cocked her head to the side. “Did… did you carry her axe?” “Yes?” “Shitty wizard, aren’t you?” “I- excuse me, miss?” She casually shifted her weight. “I mean, that’s basic stuff. The hell is gonna happen on a train that you’d have to worry about spell slots?” “I-the three of you are being very cruel.” Jenkins looked rather dejected. Lup smiled innocently.  
            Jenkins took another deep breath. “And… and then, behind that, is… the cargo car. You should’ve been walked through our security protocols at the station, and-” He looked up at Lup, tears starting to prick at the corner of his eyes. “I- I live to serve the people on this train, and I’ve never been treated like this in my life. I- do you even want the rest of the tour!?” Magnus reached out to touch his shoulder before bringing him in for an unwanted hug. “No, sir, that’s quite alright.” “You’re my brave boy, Jenkins.” “No, it’s fine, I can stand up to the slings and arrows that you fling at me. I just- I would just like to finish the tour and get back to work please.” “No, by all means, we’re trying to make you strong, brother!” Jenkins sighed and pushed Magnus off of him. “ Behind the dining car is the cargo car. I’m done. Have a good day. Let me know if you need anything, but don’t expect a quick response.” Merle looked up at him. “And how do we summon you, Jenkins?” “The train has four goddamn cars, just open all the doors and yell.” “But is there, like, a magic word or a whistle? A magic bell somewhere?” “I- Yes. A witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need And that word is my fucking name, Jenkins.” “Hey Jenkins-” “No, goodbye, I’m out. Smell you later.” And with that, the crew had made someone else extremely uncomfortable.

=========================================  
  
            Having been woken up at around two in the goddamn morning, the three decided to take a short rest. Lup was the first to wake up. Sitting up, she stretched, raising her arms into the air before turning over towards the window of the sleeping car. Looking out, she could clearly see that the train had already started its way through the mountain range that connected Rockport to their destination. She pushed herself off of the edge of the top bunk and did not stick the landing very well. Well, if she had to have a rude awakening, she was not gonna be the only one. Lup grabbed her umbrastaff, gracefully pushed herself up, and struck in down, all in one swoop, the tip of the staff clanging sharply against the train floor and making a rather unpleasant noise. Having the intended effect, the two men awoke with a start. “Gah! What the fuck, Lup?” “Both of you. Up. Now. Aren't we supposed to be doing something?”  
            Magnus groaned, “Can't we just wait a little longer?” Lup struck her staff down again, recreating the sound. “Nope. Let's go.”  
            The group got themselves together and walked into the dining car, having heard some very excited exclamations coming from it. Lup reeled slightly upon entry. The dining car was exceptionally fancy, containing several crystal chandeliers, impressive crimson tablecloths, and expensive looking gold cutlery. Along the walls of train car are several large windows, overlooking the mountains. Lup smoothly grabbed a set of golden silverware as she passed a table, stuffing it in an interior pocket, before walking forward to survey the rest of the room. On the far side of the room, there is a thin booth, almost like a confessional, that has its door open. Sitting next to this booth is a very fancy, small boy, reading at a table in the corner. Right outside of the booth, Jenkins was standing, channelling some kind of spell on the chamber. Just then, the man with a large bushy beard, who had robes that Lup could now see said “Juicy" on the ass, emerged from the chamber. “Man, that was amazing! I've never felt so relaxed in my whole life!” Jenkins nodded with a polite smile. “I'm glad you enjoyed that, I live to serve-" “Jenkiiiiiiins!!!” Lup cooed, calling over to the man whose face betrayed despair. “Oh god.” The trio walked over towards the booth.  
            “I-hello. How was your nap? Is everything good? Do you… perhaps… have anything to… say to me?” Lup thought for a second. Did she have anything to say? Oh, yeah! She took a second to shift her pose to one of pure sincerity and innocence. “Listen, Jenkins… about earlier…” Jenkins looked up with a somewhat hopeful look on his face. “I just wanted to say…” “Yes?” “I’m sorry… that you’re such a shitty wizard. And- I just- I want you to understand something. I’m not offering to help you here. I just feel so bad that you’re such a terrible wizard. I just want you to know that.” Jenkins had the facial expression of a man that was either about to cry or kill everyone on this train. Magnus snapped his fingers and pointed at Jenkins’ tie. “I still dig the bow tie!” “I-okay. I don't know what I expected. Look-” “Hey, Jenkins,” Lup cut him off, “I'm feeling a bit more adventurous. Can you tell me about the pleasure room?” Jenkins huffed, reluctantly regaining his composure. “Well, actually, you're looking at it. This is- it's not a sex thing- though I suppose it could be- uh, it is actually a type of magic I specialize in called a port. I can make it so that when you enter this chamber, you can be in any room that you want to be- just a quick getaway while we're traveling through this rather bleak mountain.”  
            Magnus reached over and leaned his hand on Jenkins in what literally anyone besides Jenkins would take as a friendly, comforting gesture. “So, how does it work?” Harassment aside, Lup actually was kind of curious. She wasn't really all that familiar with this type of magic.  
            Though off put by Magnus’ presence, Jenkins seemed somewhat relieved to be able to talk about his job. “You tell me where you want to go and I can take you there. It's a kind of teleportation. Oh, but, uh, you can only open up a pleasure room to a room that only has one entrance and exit. That is what you step through, through this port, you can't actually leave- It's not an illusion, it is a type of teleportation, albeit, a very limited type. You can't take anything from the room, and if you leave something behind, it will be destroyed. Um-" “Where'd he go?” Lup swung her arm over and pointed towards the ‘Juicy Wizard’ with her thumb. “He went to one of our special luxury rooms we have prefabricated. It was a recreation of the beaches off the Sword Coast- you know the ones. You don't have to use one of our prefabricated rooms, of course.” Magnus looked at him intently. “Can you recreate our sleeping car?” “I… suppose I could? I- that room's, like, one car over, though.”  
            Merle spoke up, “Okay, I wanna use it! Can you take me to the room my package is in?” Jenkins’ face scrunched up in annoyance, “Are you talking about the cargo car?” “Yes!” He pointed sharply to the left. “You want me to use my incredible teleportation magic to go to the room that is adjacent to us!?” “...yes? No. No!” “So… then, where would you like to go?” “I want to go to the engineer’s room!” “I can't do that, that's behind a locked door!!! Not to mention the violation of security protocol!!!” “You said any room!!!” “Yes, any room- a luxury spa, a botanical garden-!”  
            Magnus straightened up a bit. “You know what, Jenkins? I'm gonna take you up on that later.” “I- okay. Sure.” Magnus took his arm off of Jenkins and patted him on the back. “Please don't.” And with that, he turned away from them.  
            “Alright, gang! Let's go-!” “I'm gonna talk to the kid.” Lup interrupted and pointed towards the boy. “Oh, right!”  
            Before Lup could even say anything, Merle had already brought out his… Xtreme Teen Bible? ...Yeah, okay, whatever at this point. Merle had already brought out his Xtreme Teen  
Bible and had started speaking to the boy.  
            “You’re quite a fancy lad! You know, being fancy is good! But sometimes it’s better to be Pan-cy and not just fancy! Let me read to you about Pan from my Xtreme Teen Bible! What do you say?” The boy set his book down and looked up with a polite smile on his face.  
            “Uh, hello sir. Thank you for the evangelism, but I’m affiliated already and I appreciate it. And my dad says that I’m not allowed to talk to people who worship pagan gods.”  
            Lup stifled a giggle. The long, unexpected pause only added to her suspense for what Merle’s next move was. “Well, uh…” He blinked in hesitance. “That’s... fine… I guess…” Merle sighed dramatically and leaned back looking somewhat hurt. “Uh, but, you know…” He huffed. “If you’re gonna stay close-minded and not be open to new ideas, you’re not going to grow up to be a very well-rounded young man.” The boy suddenly looked somewhat panicked.  
            “O-okay, sir! I apologize if I was being rude before! Please, tell me the good news.” Merle turned back, now rather pleased, and slid a tract towards the child. “Well, I’ll tell you what. I noticed you were reading a book! Let me leave you this Pan tract, and you read it!” “Oh great! Reading’s my favorite. This is great, um, what is- what is your name?” “I’m Brother Me-” Lup coughed loudly in his direction. “I’m Brother Leeman! Just call me Brother Leeman.” “Brother Leeman, hello. My name is Angus. I’m going to visit my Grandfather in Neverwinter. Have you been to Neverwinter before?”  
            Magnus casually nudged Lup’s shoulder and leaned over to whisper, “He’s the bad guy. We’ve- that’s definitely the bad guy. He’s definitely the bad guy!” “Um, sir?” They both froze in surprise and turned their attention back to the boy.  
            “Excuse me, sir? My grandpa says it’s rude to whisper, especially on a train. What’re-” “WE WERE SWEARING. WORDS YOU CAN’T HEAR.” “My- my grandpa says swears are not-” “HEY, ANGUS, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO PHANDALIN?” “No, I’ve never heard of it. I like to read my books because it’s like a journey I can go on in my mind!”  
Magnus leaned back down to Lup, “He likes reading. What kid likes reading!? Lup! It’s him!!!” Lup gently pushed his face back up to its starting position. “Um, sir? And ma’am? What are your names?”  
            Ah, shit. Um. Her name is- “I’m Diddly!” Okay, yeah, good job, Magnus. Nice, believable name. Jesus Christ. Her name was… “...Justine…?” Yeah, okay.  
Magnus relaxed his tense position. “So, what’s your last name, Angus?” “McDonald.” “Angus, are you off put by three grown strangers asking you personal questions on a train?” Way to be blunt, Mags. “Oh, no! I was hoping I’d meet people and make friends on the train!” Lup lifted an eyebrow. “Even though you’re not allowed to talk to them?” “Well, strangers aren’t strangers anymore once you’ve talked to them and learned their names.” Fair enough.  
            “Hey, Angus, wanna see a magic trick?” Merle asked him. “Oh, sure! I love magic tricks!” “Okay, hold on!” Merle read a passage from his book and cast another truth spell. Lup could feel a tingling in her throat and bit her hand, grimacing. She wasn’t doing this again. Much to her surprise, however, Angus seemed to be… entirely unaffected? Her eyebrows shot up in confusion. Those spells aren’t too easy to resist.  
Lup waited for the spell to die down before inconspicuously pulling Magnus slightly down towards her level. “Hey, Mags?” She whispered, “You might be onto something.” Merle had wrapped up his conversation with the boy, so Lup clapped her hands together and said goodbye to Angus, making sure to still seem friendly while keeping some distance.  
            Walking away from Angus, the group almost immediately runs into the- uh- the… Juicy… Wizard. He’s back by the pleasure room, running his hands along the chamber as though he were thoroughly inspecting it, while uttering hushed exclamations of astonishment.  
            “Oh, wow! This thing’s amazing! Don’t you guys love being on this train? This train’s the best! Oh! Sorry, what are your names? I feel rude ‘cause I talked about how much I love this train before I introduced myself. And you had a chance to introduce yourselves.” “My name’s Diddly! Short for Bo Diddly!” “Wouldn't… Bo be a much easier way to truncate that?” “Way less fun, am I right, my man!? HIGH FIVE!!!” “Oh, okay.” Magnus gave out yet another enthusiastic high five. “Now I can tell you that my name is Graham! It’s not as fun.” He suddenly looked very sad.  
            “Aw, that’s alright, Graham,” Lup assured him, “you have a… youthful energy about you. It balances out.” Graham’s eyes lit up when he looked at her. “You are so right! And, and, I can’t help but notice your wizard garb! Are you perhaps a wizard too!?” Lup glanced down at her outfit. She was wearing more pajamas than wizarding clothes, honestly. “Oh, hell yeah, dude.” She winked at him and raised on of her hands in a brief metal horns sign.  
            “Can I let you in on a secret, Graham?” His eyes widened, as though he had never been given a greater honor than to be trusted with what Lup was about to say. “Oh, absolutely!” She leaned over and put a hand next to her mouth to whisper. “I think you’re the best wizard on this train.” She winked again. And you know what? After herself, given the two other wizards on this train, that was true. She hadn’t seen him actually do anything, but anything this guy had to offer was absolutely better than Jenkins’ hot mess. Graham looked touched beyond words.  
            He gasped and smiled wide, “Oh my gosh! Can I tell you something!?” “Go for it, my man.” “Graham is my train name.”  
            Lup blinked in surprise. If she was being honest, she kind of… expected a back and forth where they just gave each other cheesy compliments, or something. Not this odd bombshell. “Uh… do… you have another… real name?” “Yeah! It’s- Percy.” Merle nodded. “Nice choice with Graham.” “Yeah, Graham’s way better.” Magnus agreed. “Sounds like a train name.”  
            “Can I tell you guys something?” Graham seemed very excited to be able to talk about this. “What I really wanna do is, I would love to work on a train. It’s been my dream my whole life, to work on a train! I can be whatever role they need me on, just to live life on the rails! It’s just- This train is amazing!” “It sure is, my man.” Lup nodded, slowly becoming somewhat uncomfortable. “But you know what? It’s kind of uncomfortable.” Wow, he took the words right out of her mouth. “Because I actually applied to work on this train, but I didn’t get accepted. Uh, so I just kinda came on this train to shadow Jenkins-”  
            Magnus nudged Lup’s shoulder again. “Motive! That’s motive!” He forgot to whisper this time, though. Graham looked at him for a second. “I- okay. I guess I’ll just… leave, then.” He turned his head back to look at Lup. “It was nice to meet you guys though!”  
            Lup watched as he walked eighteen feet to the left and sat down, clearly not having any urgent matters to attend to. She glanced at guilty looking Magnus for a long while, before sighing, shaking her head and walking over to take a seat at one of the booths, the two men following her lead. She leaned back against the plush seats and swung her arms back against the top of the seat. Damn, this train was comfy. But she was also hungry as hell, too hungry to be fully comfortable. Grimacing, Lup turned her head to see a rather displeased Jenkins.  
            “Would… you three like a serving of our delicious lunch?” “Oh, absolutely, yes.” He huffed and left, presumably heading to the kitchen. Lup crossed her legs and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh geez. A four month hiatus. Whoops. Sorry about that. I haven't forgotten about this fic, I promise! I'll do my best to update more frequently! Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	14. Flowers, Friends, and Foes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup enjoys a 'hearty' meal, Magnus slanders a garden, Merle regrets not killing someone, and they all consider murdering a child.

            Lup was beyond pleased with her meal.  True, it was more just pea pods and croutons than an actual meal, that’s what she got for messing with the chef.  But the joke’s on Jenkins! Lup would enjoy  _ anything  _ not mushroom based!  She popped another crouton in her mouth and looked out the window.  If she had to guess, she’d have had to say it’s about an hour and a half or so they’d left the station.  So they had… about half the trip to go! But what else did they have to do? They’d already eaten and slept and, honestly, even messing with Jenkins was getting kind of old.  And speak of the devil, there he is! 

Lup looked to see Jenkins sulk over to their table.  “Have you…  _ fine people _ -”  he gritted his teeth to say that, “-given any more thought to a pleasure chamber?  You might want to, ah, visit? I can take you to one of my own personal favourites, I can take you to… a beautiful day spa where you will be covered in the richest yoghurt… and… well, you won’t be massaged cause nobody else will be there, but it’s like a yoghurt... dip.”  Well, that’s something to do. 

“Alright, Jenkins.  I have a request.” “Dear god, what is it.”  Lup crossed her arms and turned out towards the edge of her seat, “I wanna go to your most popular pleasure room.”  He looked relieved. “Oh, I can do that.” Jenkins reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out a small, cylindrical rod and walked over to the pleasure chamber, pointing and muttering some sort of spell, tracing the outline of the doorway.  Stepping forward, he opened the door, revealing an explosion of beautiful flora, the room filled with lush plants, colorful flowers, and bright berries. 

Lup’s eyes widened in surprise.  Merle silently began to cry. Magnus yawned, bored.  Jenkins looked somewhat bashful. “Is this… okay? I thought it… Um, anyone can go in, if you want...”  “Yeah, I’m going in.’ Lup started walking towards the doorway, waving a hand behind her in a ‘come on’ motion.  

It was disorienting, to say the least.  The sudden transition from a speeding train hurtling through the mountains to a serene, tranquil botanical garden was anything but subtle.  Fortunately, however, the metaphorical slap to the face was quickly replaced by the almost overwhelming floral smell. Jenkins’s voice sounded from outside the garden.

“ Enjoy yourselves.  Please don’t take too long.  Uh, and remember, don’t leave anything behind, and you cannot take anything with you.”  Magnus turned his head and shouted out the doorway. “Except memories!” “Well, the memories, yes, will be obliterated.  No, I’m kidding.” “Ha! Jenkins, you  _ are _ a cad!”  “Nothing could destroy memories.”

Something about that made Lup cringe.  Why, though… she didn’t know. Ugh, her head was starting to spin.  She needed to do something to get her mind off of…  _ that. _  So she examined the room, trying to analyze its magical aura.  To her surprise, it wasn’t illusion magic. Rather, it was conjuration, a type of teleportation.  Aw jeez, teleportation wasn’t easy magic. She didn’t wanna admit it, but… maybe… Jenkins was worth looking into.  Eugh. 

Very reluctantly, Lup went to turn to Magnus- who was currently pissing in the corner, god damn it.  Though, gauging by Jenkins’ reaction to this, he didn’t really seem like the kind of person who would kill anyone, regardless of how blatantly disrespectful they were.  “What- why!? There’s a bathroom right down the hall!” “No, you don’t understand! I have disappearing piss!” “What, did a witch kiss you!?” Lup blew a kiss in Magnus’ direction.  “Yes! She  _ just  _ did!”  “...and she cursed you with evaporating piss?”  “Yeah! It’s actually pretty good! But the fear is that, one day, it’ll all come back at once!”  “I- whatever, just hurry up in this room.” Magnus looked very excitedly towards Lup. “Did you actually-!?”  “No. No, I did not.” He looked crushed.

           The three spent a few more minutes relaxing in the garden before exiting back out into the train.  They were promptly greeted by the young boy.

           “Hello, again!  How was your trip?”  Magnus immediately whispered at Lup, “Don’t trust him.”  She pushed him away again. “Pretty good, Angus. We had a good time.  Oh, but we sure missed you.” “I missed you too! Hey, I forgot to ask, what are you guys going to Neverwinter for?”  Merle spoke up, in his awful, awful Scottish accent. “Business… with relatives.” “Oh, wow! I wonder if my grandpa knows your relatives!  What relatives live there?” “Well, here’s the thing. We call ‘em our uncle, but they’re really just good friends of our- of  _ my _ dad’s.  So, you know, it’s not really that type of connection.”  “What’s his name?” “...Willard.” “And what are your guys’ names?”

           Wait, what? Lup blinked in confusion.  “Um? I’m… Leeman?” “ _ Still _ Diddly…”  Angus shook his head.  “No, no. I’m sorry, what are your guys’  _ real _ names?”  “...huh?” Oh jeez, he didn't  _ catch on _ , did he?  Were they gonna have to  _ kill _ this kid?  “Uh, what do you mean, pumpkin?”  “What are the names that aren't fake that you guys actually have?”

           Oh shit, they were gonna have to kill this kid.  Well, the morality of this situation was rather… “Lup, should I kill him?”  Magnus had leaned down to whisper at her. Lup shook her head. If that was the first thing Magnus had thought, then it was too damn impulsive.  There was a way around that. Tilting her head, she cast detect magic. 

           Instantly, Angus’ book lit up with traces of divination.  Lup placed a hand in front of her mouth and whispered back, “The book.”  Almost immediately, Magnus lunged for the boy's book, just narrowly missing it as Angus pulled it away at the last second.

           Angus was indignant.  “Don't try that again!  Just- I need to know what your names are, now!”  Magnus lunged for the book again, this time snatching it out of his hands with ease, and handing it to Lup.

           Upon closer inspection, Lup could now clearly recognize it as an interceptor book.  She opened the book, its latest message still printed on the page, ‘Kessler and Co suspicious STOP Sleep magic spell performed at station STOP Hand over to authorities immediately upon arrival in Neverwinter STOP’  Magnus turned from reading over her shoulder as she showed the message to Merle, “Angus, where did you get this book?”

           Angus was now getting pretty upset.  “That's not important. What  _ is _ important is that the three of you tell me exactly what you're doing on this train and what your real names are!”  Lup shook her head and waved the book, now closed. “How about we have the book, so why don't you tell  _ us _ some stuff and then we'll give you your book back?”  “How about I'm a little boy who knows you're lying, and I can yell and yell and yell, and get you in lots of trouble.”  Lup’s face dropped. Damn it, this kid was good!

           “How about except for me, we're much bigger than you and we can thump your gourd!”  Lup turned with a glare to quiet Merle, “The only good thing about him knowing you're lying is that you don't have to do the voice in front of him anymore.”  She looked back at Angus and sighed. “Okay, um, you know what? Here.” She tossed the book back over to him. He grabbed the book, hugging it close and glaring at the three of them.  “Thanks.”

           Lup spoke, softer this time, gentler.  With a kid this smart, she might as well cooperate.  “You seem okay, so can you tell us what's going on? My name’s Lup.”  Angus dropped his glare. He set his book down on his lap. “I can explain everything if you come with me to my sleeper car.  There might be prying eyes. And listening ears.” Yeah, nothing weird about three strange adults accompanying a child they just met to his sleeper car.  Off they go!

           Upon entering Angus’ sleeper car, Lup immediately noticed that it was  _ much _ nicer than hers.  Which  _ might  _ have something to do with the way they treat Jenkins, but is still bullshit, nonetheless.  

           Angus sat down on his bed and opened up his book before looking back up to speak.  “My name is Angus McDonald. That part you already know. Uh, and I'm not being braggy, because my grandpa says not to do that, but I am the world's greatest detective.”  Magnus rolled his eyes. Angus lidded his in response, “Okay. I mean, I did detective good enough to see through your horseshit, so I can't be too bad.” He shook his head and regained his composure.  “Anyway, I'm on the trail of a serial killer called the Rockport Slayer. I was hired on by Rockport City Council to track them down. They've been in business in Rockport for a few months now. What they do is they target wealthy individuals and murder them and take their riches.”  Lup cringed a little bit. She does two out of those three things kind of often. “But they never leave a trace behind them!” Merle nodded, “That makes perfect sense.” “I think we're working towards a similar goal.” Magnus added, “The three of us, we work for an… organization… let's leave it at tha-"  “What's it called?” Angus cut him off. “I literally can't tell you." “Good detective work requires that you obtain as much information about the case as possible.”

           Lup lightly placed a hand on Magnus’ chest to keep him quiet and turned to Angus, “It's called the ######*##*#######.  See? We can't tell you.” Angus tilted his head, his eyebrows kneaded. “Is there some sort of magical charm preventing you from telling me what it actually is?”  Merle took up a very ‘matter-of-fact’ stance. “Well, the thing that's preventing it is the ##### of the ####### that we wear on our ######.” “...okay.” Angus looked down towards their wrists, as though he was searching for something.  His eyes settled on their bracers and he straightened into a triumphant posture. “Oh, I see, those are some sort of communication bracers, right?” Lup made an impressed noise. “Dang, Angus! You _ are  _ good.”

           He shuffled, clearly somewhat proud of himself.  “I have reason to believe that the Rockport Slayer is somewhere aboard this train, due to Leeman Kessler’s murder last night.”  Lup nodded before asking, “Mmhm. Uh? Angus, can I ask you something?” “ Yes, please.” “So, your book there had a message in it.  Does your book tell you who it's from?” “Hm?” He looked down at his book. “Uh, according to this, it was sent through a magical line down the rails by a ‘Tom Bodett’.

           “Aw, we should've killed Tom Bodett!!”  Merle complained, seemingly sounding like he had been planning on it.  Though, really, saying that you wished you had killed someone while trying to prove your innocence in front of a detective who was currently trying to find an unidentified serial killer was probably a bad move on their part.

           “Tell me this,” Angus says, “I know that you're all restricted in what you can and can't tell me through magical means but can you tell me this- was Leeman Kessler carrying something very valuable?”  Lup nodded, “Yes.” “Can you tell me anything about it?” “No.” “Look, Angus, here's what we can tell you,” Magnus explained, “This item, if it falls into the wrong hands, is remarkably dangerous, and that's very bad.”  “And this item, if my suspicions are to be believed, is locked up in the safe in the cargo car. Is that correct?” “Well, that's not really impressive. That’s where we lock stuff up, Angus. You didn't really deduce the shit out of that one.”

           Lup turned to him in surprise.  “Uh? He wasn't showboating?” “Oh, okay.”  “Yeah, I'm just sort of working with you now.” Angus replied, uncomfortably.  “Oh. Then, uh, yes, you're correct, Angus. It is stored back there-" “Oh no, it's too late for that conversation, but let's move on.”  The poor kid sounded like he might cry.

           Magnus looked very sheepish all of a sudden.  “Okay. So the issue that we're dealing with, Angus, is that it's back there.  We don't know very much about the item, except that it's very dangerous.” Angus wiped at his face.  “Have you tried talking to the engineer so that he can open it up so that you guys can secure it?” “Well, here's the problem,” Lup crossed her arms, “We don't really know who we can trust.”  Angus thought for a second before nodding and looking up at Lup. “If the object of value that the three of you are trying to claim is somewhere on this train, then I have reason to believe that the Rockport Slayer is somewhere on this train too.  So we-" He cut himself off as a shadow slid past the frosted glass of the sleeper car windows. He lowered his voice, “Okay, I've decided that the three of you are off of my suspect list, for now, at least. But I will need you to help me catch the real Rockport Slayer.”

           All of a sudden, a shriek of terror sounded from the front of the train, breaking everyone from the conversation.  “Oh no!” Angus jumped up. “We need to go check that out!” Without waiting for anyone, he opened up the doors and starting sprinting down towards the noise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter. I should have the next one out soon. And a big thank you for all the kind comments! I really appreciate it! Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	15. Fire and Ice and Crabs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's been a murder! And, instead of the actual detective on board, it's up to Lup to solve the mystery! With some help, of course. Lup has trouble with doors, Magnus takes a crafting break, and Merle takes a nap!

            Damn, he was faster than Lup expected.  

           The three ran down after Angus, trying to keep up.  Before they could even reach the door to the chamber between cars, however, Lup noticed a concerningly large puddle of blood oozing out of the door.  Before anyone could do anything, Magnus rushed over and into the next car. The other three followed, Lup leading the way, doing her best to avoid the blood on the floor.  When she looked up from her feet, she was met with a rather horrific scene.

           Laying in the middle of the floor was a corpse, bloody and mangled.  Both its head and its hands were missing, cut away. Around its neck was a- oh god.  The corpse sported a shimmering, technicolor bow tie, Jenkins’ signature flair.

           Lup looked away, somewhat uncomfortable that she had been so rude to a recent murder victim, to see Angus was standing over Graham's body.  Fortunately, though, it seemed like Graham was just passed out. Having caught Lup’s eye, Angus turned to her, “He’s just fainted. Look over the body as quick as you can, before anybody else gets here.

           Normally, Lup was all about searching corpses, but... something about this… didn't feel right.  Still, she supposed, trying to find evidence to convict his murderer was the least she could do for Jenkins.  Lup squatted down over the body, her robe tied up to keep it out of the blood, and began to search the body's pockets.  Unfortunately, she didn't find anything, not even a magical instrument of some sort. However, she did notice that, despite the messy, ragged, bloody cut of the wrists, the clothing around the area seemed relatively fine, not even that bloodstained.  She reported her findings to Angus, who was now standing close to her. He nodded in understanding before turning to and pointing at Graham, “We need to get Graham to a bed or something as soon as possible and-" He stopped, frozen. He flicked his wrist and took up a defensive stance, producing a small crossbow.  “Nobody move.” 

           All of a sudden, a loud growling  started to come from above. Then, a figure started to appear on the ceiling.  Four very sharp looking claws attached to a round torso with a circular mouth that contained three rows of orange, glowing teeth.

           “I'm gonna get this guy out of here!  You three run!” Angus shouted, then grabbed a now very groggy, but awake, Graham, pulling him out of the chamber.  Just as he left the doorway, the creature's mouth began to spin and glow.

           “Angus, wait!”  Magnus shot after the boy, ignoring Lup’s protests.  “No- MAGNUS!” She looked back up at the creature, and then at Merle, who was staring up at her in panic.  “Uh, run towards the back, I guess!?” They nodded at each other and turned back towards the sleeper cars, narrowly missing a burst of hot air, coming from the creature.  Lup slammed the door, jamming it shut before taking a few quick steps back. There were a few loud, sharp bangs against the door, some areas now protruding as though they had pounded against with a tremendous amount of force.  And then there was silence. A few more moments of silence and Lup took a breath to steady herself, leaning over on her knees. She was pretty sure the… fire crab, or whatever the hell that thing was, had left them to go chase after Magnus and Angus.  Lup straightened up and walked back over to the door to test its lock, then recoiled in shock from the heat. That door was hot as hell!

           “Okay,” She turned to Merle to confirm the situation, “So.  I'm pretty sure it went the other way. We're separated from the rest of our team, as well as the rest of the train.  The door is too hot to even try to open. And we're stuck back here.” “So… what now?” Lup straightened her posture. “I don't know.  We only have access to the sleeper cars and the cargo car, but we can't get into the cryptsafe, so it's really just the sleeper cars.” She looked towards the individual bunkers, still somewhat frantic.  For some reason, she felt like they wouldn’t be left alone for very long. Whatever they were gonna do, they probably had to do it very fast. 

           “Maybe a quick search through all the rooms?  I mean, we might find something useful or incriminating.”  Lup very quickly tucked her head into each room, checking for anything magic or obvious before leaving Merle to search more in depth.  The muffled sounds of combat began to sound towards the front of the train, where Magnus and Angus had run off, slowly starting to fill the elven woman with dread.  Oh, fuck! Lup’s ears dropped and flattened as close against her head as they could in realization. Magnus wasn’t armed! All those two had was a small crossbow that belonged to a child who looked like he had never thrown a punch in his life.  Going against a giant, fiery crab!

           She whipped her head towards the back end of the train.  Their weapons were all in the cargo car, right? Yeah, there was that security measure, but… maybe she could magic it open??  Or something??? She warned Merle she was leaving for a second before running down to the end car, reaching for the handle, and bursting into the room.  Or, the door could not open and she could just run headfirst into a heavy, steel wall, yeah, okay. OW.

           The loud thump of Lup hitting the door at a high speed alerted Merle, who walked out to see her lying on the floor, her face contorted in pain.  “Uh, what happened there, Lu?” She groaned in response before sitting up slowly, her head in her hands. Then she glared directly at her inanimate enemy.  What!? Why the fuck didn’t it open!? Merle helped her to her feet and she leaned over her staff for stability as punched at the door, angrily at first, but then experimentally.  No matter how much she tried to disturb its position, it refused to shift at all. Even the handle wouldn’t turn. Merle, too, had no luck opening the door, seemingly fused shut.

           Lup thought for a moment, shifted, and then leaned back.  She had tried to detect magic, to see if something was keeping this door shut.  

           No response.

           What!? Lup tilted her head, immensely confused.  This didn't seem like a physically fake door and apparently it wasn't a magical one either.  And these doors didn't have any actual locking mechanisms. So was it just blocked from the other side??  Or was she just bad at opening doors today???

           A loud crash from the other end of the car made Lup and Merle whip their heads around.  There was a new protrusion coming from the door and a glowing, red circle, heating the metal.  Another loud crash. Merle practically dragged Lup into their sleeper car, and the two ducked down.  Just in time, apparently, as as soon as they did, a column of flame shot out through the hall, completely burning the floor, but not through it.  That column of flame was followed by the crab flying back against the door of the cargo car, slamming into it.

           “Guys!?” Magnus!  Lup had never been so glad to hear his voice.  The crab, now bloodied and heavily injured, began to move, charging up what seemed to be another column of fire.  Seeing this, Lup grabbed her staff and shot out an ice beam, freezing most of the crab, its firey mouth now facing directly up.  

           She stepped out, intending to see if she had finally killed the damn thing when she was grabbed from behind and lifted in the air.  “Lup!!!” “Ack!!! Yeah, okay, hi Mags, put me down!” He complied.

           Turning around, Magnus wasn't much better off than the crab.  Had he just been punching it?? Well, she supposed, he didn't really have much of a choice, did he?  “Meeerleee?” The dwarf stuck his hand out of the sleeper car and waved Magnus over. 

           Lup turned to the now burst open door.  It was completely destroyed, metal and blood dripping from select parts of the carnage.  She squatted down to see if anything else had gotten caught, when there were three very loud sounds behind her.  A crack, like ice breaking, a slow, deep squeak, like metal being torn apart, and a crushing sound, like a shell being absolutely decimated.  She jumped, turning around to glare at exactly what she thought had happened (Magnus had impaled the crab with an iron bar torn off of one of the bunk beds), when she realised she had landed her hands in the puddle starting to form around the ruined doorway.

           Lup immediately retracted her hands back, expecting immense pain and injury… only to find she was fine?  Wait, what? She looked down, the molten metal harmlessly slipping through her fingers only to reach the carpet and burn straight through it.  She turned her hands around to inspect and her ring shone brightly, almost encouragingly. Oh, that's right! Fire can't hurt her! 

           Now that she knew she'd be fine, she grabbed the top edges of the hole and climbed through, landing in the blood from earlier.  Ugh, she was gonna need new robes after this. Looking back through, Magnus was still raising his hands in victory of his kill. Merle, however, had had yet to leave the sleeper car.  She yelled down the hall. “Mags!” He turned, “Yeah, Lu- How'd you get through there!?” “I climbed,” she raised a hand as he took a step towards her, “no, don't try it. You  _ will  _ die.  Are Angus and Graham still alive?”  He nodded enthusiastically. “At the front of the train, in the dining car!  Jess is there too!” She gave a thumbs up and turned to leave, the other door now blasted open too.

           Lup climbed through the second door to be greeted with another scene of destruction.  Everything was charred, some of the tables burned up entirely, pieces of chairs scattered the floor, the- NO!  THE DRINK CART!! IT WAS PARTIALLY MELTED, FUCK. She huffed. What was even the point of trying to salvage anything else if the  _ drink cart _ was destroyed!?  Why, she-

           Lup was broken out of her reverie by an excited voice, “Miss Lup!”  She looked down to see Angus greeting her, his clothes somewhat singed, but otherwise relatively unscathed.  “Hey, Angus. What happened in here?” An axe swung down, making her jump. “Giant, flaming crab. Where exactly were you?”  A very muscular, dwarven woman was looking up disdainfully at Lup. She glared back in response. “Trapped in the other end of the train.  And I just finished up dealing with that crab. You're welcome.” Yeah, she could probably kill Lup no problem, but Lup had a pretty good punt and was kind of pissed off now.  But, she reminded herself, she should probably try to work together with the other passengers, especially the one known for decapitating her opponents. 

           It was time to get some info.  Lup slumped her shoulders and turned back down to face Angus.  “Graham in here?” He nodded and pointed her towards some more undamaged seating. 

           Graham had seen much better days.  The poor guy was ghastly pale and trembling.  Lup walked over and bent down in front of him, attempting to level her face with his.  “Uh, hey, Graham?” She snapped twice in front of his face, “Graahaam?” She flicked at his face, “Graham!”  “AH!” He opened his eyes and jumped in shock. “Ah! What!? What do you want!?” Lup drew her hand back and leaned forward on her staff.  “I've got some questions for you, Graham. Can you answer them?” “Wha- is this- like, an interrogation or jeopardy or-” “Graham, you were at the crime scene of a murder, do you think I'm gonna twenty questions it with you?”  She glared lightly, unamused. “Just tell me some shit and you're good. You got me?” Graham nodded, still rather disturbed. “Okay. Now,” Lup assumed an air of authority, “We found you in the same room as a corpse. Can you tell me anything?  What you saw? Or..?” 

           Graham nodded frantically, “It was Jenkins!  It was- I was sitting here- in the passenger car- and I wanted to see if the pleasure chamber was ready to go- and there- and there was a corpse- and- and- I saw a…”  Graham’s words began to slowly fade as he fainted, still pretty shaken up. Well, okay, but Lup didn't have time for shaken up. She snapped in front of his face again, receiving no response.  When that didn't work, she reeled back and backhanded the unconscious man. 

           “-aaAAAAAHHHH-”  Lup put a hand in front of his mouth in a silencing manner.  “Nope, none of that, we're on a tight schedule here. When you saw the body, did it have hands?”  “No!” He shoved her hand away. “And it had no head either!” “Okay. And you were in the passenger car.  For how long?” “Uh- uh- twenty minutes? Uh- Jess was here too- when I- when I went to go- uh-” “And the last time you saw Jenkins?”  “Uh, a few- a few minutes before I found him. He- uh- went to the front of the train and then did a drink service. Um- and then back to the back of the train.  And then I went back and-” “Okay,” Lup brought her hand back up to silence, “That's enough for now, thank you. Take it easy, Graham.” Heeding her advice, he passed out almost immediately. 

           Having dealt with Graham for the time being, it was on to the next suspect.  “Jess!” Lup made her way over to the dwarven woman. “What.” Okay, either she just had a generally displeased disposition or she just had a thing against Lup.  Regardless, she needed information and no amount of reluctant compliance was gonna stop her. “Can you corroborate this story? I'm told you were in here the whole time.”  Jess raised an eyebrow, keeping a generally neutral face otherwise. “Playing detective?” Lup's ears twitched in annoyance. Jess's demeanor softened, somewhat. At least, she  _ seemed _ a  _ bit  _ less hostile.  Only just enough to actually comply, though.  “Yeah, I was here. I was here the whole time.  Uh, and he,” She pointed over at Graham's unconscious figure, “was here too. I saw him shriek and fall down, like some kind of some small child.”  She crossed her arms, steadying her somewhat imposing stance. “And the door shut behind him. And honestly? I didn't think anything of it. Thought maybe he was just having a conniption or something.”  “Uh-huh.” 

           Lup took a second to look over Jess.  She was intimidating, no doubt. And she didn't really seem  _ particularly  _ friendly, but… she just didn't give off that many ‘brutal killer’ vibes.  Despite her wrestling name, ironically. Lup’s shoulders slumped. “Okay, thanks.”  

           Well, what now.  It wasn't Lup, it wasn't Magnus or Merle, it wasn't Angus, because they were with him, and it wasn't Graham or Jess, because their stories matched up.  And it wasn't Jenkins, because he was fucking dead and a beheading and behanding didn't really seem like a plausible suicide. She was out of leads! Maybe she should check in with the actual detective.  

           “Hey, Angus!”  “Mm-hm?” Lup walked over and knelt down towards Angus, trying to get more eye level with him.  “Those two seem to have some pretty solid alibis and you were with the guys and I, so you know none of us were the killer.  Any helpful thoughts?” “Hmm…” Angus crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows in thought. “Well, the only other person on this train is the engineer, but he's been in that locked room.”  “Right.” “And he's met all the passengers, right?” “Yeah? Probably.” “Well, maybe there's someone on board we don't know about? You should probably check in with him. I can keep searching for clues while you're gone.”  Lup nodded and snapped in affirmation. “Sounds good.”

           But before that, she should probably regroup with the boys.  Going anywhere alone on a murder train was a  _ really  _ awful idea.

           ======================

           Lup could hear the clanging of antics before she even stepped all the way back down the hall.  Her ears slammed down, anticipating something asinine and horrible. 

           She stepped one foot onto the still melted door and stuck her head through the hole to see- “Oh my god.”

           “Hey, Lup! You're back!”  “Magnus, what the hell is that.”  “Hm?” He looked down. “Oh! My Crab Shield!  I made a shield out of that crab!” “Yeah, why.”  “Gotta stay armed!” He winked at her. “Oh, and I was working on a weapon too!”  Magnus lunged into a sleeper car and pulled up a club of sorts. It was comprised of three crab claws, the bottom parts broken off so that the sharp, sawing ends were exposed, and tied together with what looked like torn up bed sheets twisted up into a type of rope.  All in all, it looked like it could probably do some real damage, really not that bad of a makeshift weapon. But it was absolutely not what Lup expected to be greeted with. “Uh-huh, and what has Merle been up to?” 

           “In here!” She looked over to the sleeper car closest to her.  Merle was sitting cross legged, surrounded by a collection of random objects.  “And what do  _ you  _ have going on there?”  “Well, at first I was trying to figure out the door down there,” he pointed towards the direction of the now horribly disfigured crab and the door that stubbornly refused to open.  “but then, when I realized that wasn't goin’ anywhere, I took a nap to recover some spell slots.” “And… what's all…  _ that  _ about.” __ Lup gestured to the mess of objects.  “Oh, that's my inventory. And  _ this _ little guy,” he pointed to a smaller figure, “is my Scuttle Buddy!  Thought maybe it'd come in handy? Since, ya know, the two of us have kinda been stuck in here and all.”  

           “Yeah, about that, no one at the front of the train seems guilty, so I was gonna go question the engineer, but, like, I don't wanna walk alone on a murder train, you know?”  “Well, sure, but the door's still-” Lup ducked her head out and took a few steps back before blasting an ice spell at the molten door, freezing it solid. “That'll work!” Magnus grabbed his… crab weaponry and rushed at the door, jumping through the hole.  Merle, taking a few seconds to round up his inventory, followed suit and climbed up through the door. 

           ======================

           Lup knocked against the door to the engineer's room.  “Hey, uh,” she leaned out to whisper, “what was his name?”  “H… hud- Hudson?” “Hudson?” She leaned back towards the door.  “Hey, Hudson?” 

           A static sound buzzed from a small cone above the door.  “Yes, hello?” Hudson's voice sounded from out of the cone, his voice distorted and staticy.  “Is everything alright back there? It's a pretty smooth trip, so we should be there in about an hour or so.  Is anything wrong?”

           Lup crossed her arms, hugging her robes closer around herself.  “Well, you know, it could be better. There's been a mur-” “Jenkins is fucking dead!”  Well, that's putting it gently. “Uh… yes, thank you for that, Magnus. Uh, yeah, Jenkins is dead.” 

           “Jenkins is-” Hudson's voice sounded shocked and bewildered. “Uh…” He cleared his throat.  “Jen-Jenkins is-  _ was  _ a dedicated employee, um…”  “Yeah, uh, listen,” Lup spoke up again.  “Just, we need to know, is there anyone else on the train?”

           “No, I can- I  _ could  _ show you the manifest, but I don't think I should come out of here, especially now.  I can't just open up the engine car to whoever did this heinous crime.” “Well, listen, we need-”  “No, I'm not opening this door. Also! I have  _ no  _ proof that you three didn't kill him!  We can talk about this when we get to Neverwinter, when the authorities can get involved.”   “But we're really gonna need our weapons here!” Magnus objected, “Murderer on the loose, gonna need access to that cryptsafe!”  “Well, no, that's gonna need an hour of sustained contact from me, the engineer, to open, so not only would we  _ be _ in Neverwinter by the time that's opened, but I am  _ still  _ not going to open this door.  So, please, just return to the passenger car, or somewhere, stay alive, and stay calm.  We'll be in Neverwinter in an hour. Goodbye.” And with that, the cone buzzed out.

           Lup groaned and slumped over.  “Ugh… so what now?” “Well, it's gotta be something with the pleasure rooms, right?”  Magnus suggested. “But we can't use that without Jenkins's rod, can we?” Merle looked at Lup, who shook her head.  “So then we gotta find the rod, right?” “I mean, I  _ guess _ that's a lead.”  She straightened up slightly, still looking down.  “Then let's go!” Magnus started running down the hall, Merle following somewhat reluctantly.  

           Lup stomped at the ground, frustrated.  Yeah, she should probably go after the other two, but something was bothering her.  Who would even take the rod? Jenkins’s body didn't have it, but it can only be used by someone who knows some pretty advanced magic.  She wheeled around and began to walk slowly down the hall while she thought. She didn't take it and, as far as she knew, the only other wizard on this train was Graham, and he certainly wasn't in any condition to abuse such powerful magic, if he even knew it.  And even if he  _ did  _ know that magic, he was passed out at the scene of the crime, so no way he could have stomached killing someone.  Lup huffed, her shoulders bobbing as her pace picked up just a little. She ran through her recent conversations, scanning the words through her head, trying to dissect them.  Her face scrunched up, thinking about what Hudson had said. He had refused to open the door, saying they'd be in Neverwinter in an hour and he didn't wanna open up the engine room to the killer.  That he wouldn't open the cryptsafe because it'd take an hour of sustained- wait.  **_Wait_ ** .  Lup stopped dead in her tracks.  Hudson said it'd take an hour of sustained contact from the  _ engineer _ , meaning,  _ he _ was the only one who could open it.  So Jenkins wouldn't have been able to open it.  But the corpse had had its hands removed. So either the killer didn't know that only the engineer could open the door,  _ or- _  Lup’s eyes bolted open and she shot straight up, like a bolt of lightning had run down her spine as a thought hit her. The only confirmation they had of that corpse being Jenkins's was a bow tie.  So what if-  _ holy  _ **_SHIT._ **

**** Lup sprinted down the hall, trying to get to the front of the train as fast as she possibly could.  

           She turned the corner and slammed into the doorway, trying to keep herself up as she caught her breath.  “ **_GUYS-_ ** ”  “Listen, if you're not gonna- Oh, hey Lup!”  Lup was greeted with quite the scene. Various items were scattered about the ground around Graham, whose jaw now looked somewhat broken, and Angus, who was the only other person, besides Magnus, who had turned to look at Lup.  “Uh?” She asked, now kind of frantic. 

           “Oh, yeah, they don't have the rod.  But  _ JESS,”   _ he turned sharply towards the dwarven woman, “is refusing to empty her pockets.”  “Are you  _ that  _ curious to see just how far I can throw you?”  She glared icily at Magnus.

           Lup shook her head and stamped her foot anxiously.  “Yeah, okay, whatever!” Her voice dripped with urgency.  “Listen, Mags, Merle, Angus, I think I got something here!”  Magnus shot another glare at Jess before running up to meet the others.

           “Whatcha got, Lup!?”  Magnus asked her excitedly.  “ _ Dude-” _  “Hang on!”  Angus cut her off.  “God,  _ what!?”  “ _ If you have something big, and it sounds like you do, we should move to a more private area.”  “Yeah, fine! Let's go back to the sleeper cars, just make it  _ fast! _ ”  

           ======================

           The four ran down to the sleeper cars and huddled closely by the door of the caboose, as that was as far away from the front as they could get.  “Okay, Miss, what did you fi-” “I DON'T THINK JENKINS IS DEAD!!!” Lup cut Angus off with the loudest whisper she had ever done. “What!?” Magnus looked at her, baffled.  “Lu, his head was gone!” Merle reminded her. “Well, hang on.” Angus crossed his arms as he began to think. “ _ Someone's  _ head was gone.  How do we know for  _ sure  _ it was Jenkins?”  “Well, he's the only one missing from the train.”  Magnus asserted. “Yeah, but the engineer wouldn't open his door to us!  And didn't his voice sound a little odd to you!?” Lup punctuated her claim with a sharp point towards the front.  “But wasn't that just for security reasons!? He really  _ didn't  _ know if he could trust us, after all!”  “Guys, listen!” Lup brought her hands together, almost in a praying position, and tilted them down towards the floor.  “Only the  _ engineer  _ can open that safe.  And you know how we couldn't find Jenkins's remote!?  That's some  _ really  _ hard magic,  _ no one else  _ on this train can use that except Jenkins!”  Angus nodded in understanding. “So you're saying Jenkins killed the engineer, disguised the corpse, and ran off with his hands to open the safe?”  She pointed sharply at Angus. “Yes!!! That's exactly what I'm saying!!!”

           Merle and Magnus exchanged a look.  “But isn't the cryptsafe through there?”  Magnus asked, pointing at the door right behind them.  “Yeah, the door none of us can open?” Merle affirmed. “Yes, but-!” Lup stood up, and raised her hands for effect, accidentally knocking into the door, easily shooting it open.

           The room fell silent and everyone stared blankly at the now suddenly open doorway.  “ _ What.”   _ Lup's face scrunched up in anger and confusion.

           With a synchronization like they had practiced it a thousand times over, the three adventures fell into place, Lup and Magnus brandishing their respective weapons as the eleven woman lead the way, stalking into caboose, and Merle readied his bible for a spell, if needed.  Angus, though far less practiced in this strangely familiar formation, took his spot in the group, right between Lup and Magnus. 

           Entering the caboose was almost nauseating.  But to Lup's surprise, there was nothing and no one in this room except for the four who had just entered.  No hands, no Jenkins, no nothing. Her ears dipped in confusion as the group dispersed, tension lifting. But- she was so  _ sure _ .  She was  _ so sure _ that she was right!  And now there's- “Gah!”  Lup grabbed at her head, leaning forward on her staff to stay upright.  Her head felt like it was about to burst. Like when she was the garden, only much more inten-  That's it! She looked towards the very back of the train, where Magnus and Merle were inspecting.  “Hey!” They jumped to look at her. “Can one of you open that door?”

           With his usual amount of reckless abandon, Magnus rushed against the door, attempting to turn the handle.  But it didn't move. Merle knocked experimentally against it while Magnus continued to struggle with handle.  “It feels a whole lot like the door from earlier, Lu.”

           “Yeah? Well, one sec.”  She raised her staff and cast detect magic. 

           The response was immediate and overwhelming, a blinding affirmation of a magical presence.  White light flooded her vision, almost like when she had first lost her sight, but slightly less intense.

           Slightly.

           The burst of light sent her hurtling to the ground, eyes scrunched.  Great, though healed, her eyes were apparently still super sensitive, even to auras.  

           Injury aside, this area was undeniably ridden with magic, confirming her suspicions.  Covering her eyes from her spell, she sat up, with an almost giddy excitement. She was fucking  _ right!  _  “Alright, guys.  This room is magic as hell, that door is fused shut, and if I stand up in here, I think I'm gonna vomit.  Long story short, we're  _ not _ in the actual caboose of this train.  This is a pleasure room.” 

           She could practically feel the room thicken with tension.  “If that's correct,” Angus started, his voice very serious, “then this is a very unsafe room for us to be in.  And I recommend we move back to the sleeper car.” His suggestion was met with an onslaught of yep’s and let's go's.  Having accidentally blinded and trapped herself on the floor, Lup was lovingly dragged back out by Magnus into the hallway of the sleeper cars.  Her vision returned, clear as ever and unharmed, when she returned to the actual rooms of the train.

           =====================

           Angus summoned Jess and Graham to the cargo car so that all the passengers were now together.  He had caught the other two up on the situation and was now giving a demonstration, proving the room with the cryptsafe to be fake.  He turned to Lup's party. “The cause of death was by beheading, correct?” “Yeah. The head had a clean cut, but the hands did not.”  Lup confirmed. “But it wasn't Jess because her axe is soulbound to her and that weapon would have been really, really loud.” Magnus crossed his arms in a light mix of confusion and frustration.  “Is… is it possible…” Merle questioned, “that, using teleportation magic, the head was transported differently from the head?” Angus nodded, “I think you're close.” “Oh!” Magnus straightened up, “If the head was in an alternate room and then the magic was shut off, would that've done it!?”  “I think that's exactly it!” Angus affirmed. “And that would also explain not only why there was blood on the other side of the door, but also-” “But also why we can't find the head!” “Mm-hm! And there was no sign of a struggle, either. So, in summary, Jenkins killed the engineer, removed his head to prevent identification of the body, switched clothes with it, took the hands off the body, then used a drink service as an excuse to get into the engineer's room!” 

           “So where's Jenkins now?”  “Well, remember when we were in my sleeper car and something moved past the windows?”  “Yeah?” “If Hudson was already killed, and Jess and Graham were in the front of the train, and the four of us were in my sleeper car, who was moving towards the back of the car?”  “Jenkins! So Jenkins is in the  _ actual  _ final car!”

           “Correct!” Angus rolled back on his heels in a very proud stance.  “But what I don't understand,” he lowered his voice to a whisper, only loud enough for the three of them to hear.  “Is, if he is also the killer of Leeman Kessler, how does he know about this item that I can't hear and no one seems to know about besides you three?”  “Oh!” Magnus turned into Lup and Merle. “Is he a member of the Bureau of Balance?” “He's gotta be, that's the only thing that makes sense!” Merle agreed.  “So how are we gonna get him before we arrive in Neverwinter?” Lup turned back to Angus. “Timecheck ‘ntil Neverwinter?” He looked behind him. “Graham? How long do we have before we arrive?’  Graham pulled out a pocketwatch from within his robes, “Uh, about twenty five minutes!” Angus frowned. “That's not very much time.”

           “Hey, guys!”  Merle caught the attention of Lup and Magnus.  “I just detected the rod, it's definitely in the cargo car.”  “But how do we get in?” Magnus asked. “There's no windows or anything!  And the door is fused shut!” “Well,” Lup crossed her arms and leaned back, eyes focused in thought.  “The only way to disrupt a spell like this is to either disrupt the spellcaster or to destroy the magical item, in this case, a wand.  And the only way we can get to the actual cargo car is…” Her eyes drifted towards the windows. “Hey, Magnus?” She turned to face him, trying to put on the most charming and innocent face she could muster.  “...yes?” “How confident are you in your climbing ability?” “...why?” “Alright, so,” Lup continued with her innocent aire, sheepishly tapping her pointer fingers together, “here's what I was thinking. I cast levitate on your boots, you go through the window, climb against the train until you reach the back, you open the actual door, and then face off with Jenkins.  Thoughts?”

           “Uh!” Angus stepped in, looking kind of nervous, “Miss, that sounds  _ incredibly  _ dangerous!”  “Well,” she shifted her weight, “it's not really a  _ face off _ , per say, he just needs to distract Jenkins enough so that he stops channeling the spell.”  “Lup.” Magnus looking directly at her with a very serious look. “...yes?” “I am so on board with this.”  She breathed a sigh of relief. “Then let's do this!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I've been writing this for six months now! Thanks to everyone for reading my incredibly self indulgent fic! If anyone would like me to draw Magnus's new crab weaponry, comment below. Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	16. Flaming Rails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a showdown! Lup turns up the heat, Magnus hangs around, and Merle stops Lup from committing even more crime.

           Everyone had gathered around a table where Graham and placed a map and was now pointing out the route for Magnus to take.   “There's a brief gap between The Teeth where the train goes over Letterman's Basin. At the speed the train's going now, you'll have about ninety seconds where we won't be in the mountains, and that's gonna be your best opportunity to get around.  You'll have to move around the sleeper car and the get to the back of the cargo car if you wanna pull this off.” He looked up at Magnus. “Are you  _ sure  _ you wanna do this alone?”  “Yeah.” “Alright. Then take this.”  He held out his hand, and dropped-

           Is- is that-

           “Is that a fucking bean.”

           Graham looked up very proudly at Lup.  “Yeah! I heard you talking about your plan and alchemised this bean for you!”  He looked back at Magnus. “If you eat this, you'll become extremely heavy. It might help you stay on the train, if something happens.  Just hold on to it for now.” 

           Magnus took the bean, grabbed the end of a length of rope, and stepped back, ready for Lup to cast her spell.  “You ready, Mags?” “Levitate me!” Having gotten the okay, she aimed her umbrastaff at his boots and shot out a levitation spell.

           While Magnus struggled with balancing himself, Lup could see that Graham had opened the door out of the train car.  “Alright, we have about ten seconds until we'll be outside. Get ready!” 

           The pitch black exterior was suddenly flooded with a bright light, and the train began to click as it traveled overtop a tall, rickety rail bridge suspended over what appeared to be a lush, forested area, about one hundred and fifty feet below.  Graham clicked a button on his pocket watch and Magnus was out the door.

           Lup tensed up as soon as he was out of sight.  Her plan was stupid and risky, and she knew that.  If anything happened to Magnus while he was out there, she wasn't really sure if she could forgive herself.  She stationed herself against the windows, looking out to try to keep an eye on him. It seemed to be going pretty well, actually.  Magnus was rappelling down the side of the train with ease. All of a sudden, though, when he was close to the end, he was pushed back forcefully, almost like he had been struck by something.  Well, whatever had happened he had almost lost grip of the rope and Lup had almost had a heart attack. And she continued to be on the verge of panic as Magnus did  _ nothing  _ for the next minute, only just hanging on.   _ Uh!?  _  You know, Lup was well aware that Magnus was not the smartest man alive, but she did NOT think she had to explicitly say ‘don't fucking die’!

           Right before they reentered the mountains, however, Lup lost sight of Magnus completely.  Ugghh, she just had to hope for the best while they waited. 

           After what felt like about an eternity, which Lup had spent ‘inspecting’ the sleeper cars for ‘clues’, she retracted her wandering hands when a loud bang crasher against the back of the car.  Sticking her head out, there was another crash and the facade fell away, exposing a very triumphant Magnus, a very surprised Jenkins, and two- dear  _ GOD _ , what are those!?

           There were two, large, meaty… amalgamations.  Skinless and pulsating and… just  _ awful _ .  And apparently pretty powerful too, as two hits sent Magnus down, almost cracking his makeshift shield in half.  Looking closer, one of the… meat monsters was already almost downed, Magnus's crab club stabbed straight through its center.  

           Almost in sync, Lup and Merle cast spells at the creatures, cloaking one in fire and the other in ice.  Having pushed them back, Magnus was able to roll back and grab his actual weapon out of the front of the now opened cryptsafe.  One hit with an axe sent the frozen monster, the one with the club stabbed through it, right off the train, splitting and shattering as fell to the forest below.

           “Okay- okay!”  Jenkins stood up, grabbed his wand, and pointed it towards the only remaining hulking beast, burned and bloodied.  “Okay. I can see I'm outnumbered. And I, uh, I am a big enough man to admit defeat. So here is the deal I will make with all of you.”

           “This meat monster is equipped with one of Hudson's hands.  If he is destroyed, like the other one you just killed, then we will lose the hand and will have no way to enter the engine car to slow down the train before it arrives in Neverwinter in, uh,” he nervously looked down at his watch, “about ten minutes.  So, uh, here's what we're gonna do. Everyone is going to back off, shut the door to this car, leave me to find my treasure, and then we're gonna be able to stop this train. What do you say?”

           Magnus looked back at Lup.  “Hey, can you use that wand thing?”  “Probably.” How hard can teleportation  _ be _ ?  Really hard, actually.  She hoped she had a hidden talent.  “Okay, cool!” He turned back to Jenkins.  “Go fuck yourself!” And with that, he threw the flat end of his axe against the monster, knocking it straight into Jenkins, sending them both out of the open caboose door and off of the train, down into the depths below.

                      ======================

          Now that the cargo car was clear, everyone was free to enter the cryptsafe and reclaim their shit.  Merle gave Magnus a quick heal as their party regrouped and Angus ran over to them, looking up at Lup.  “We should probably find that thing you guys are looking for first, before anyone else can get it.” “Yeah, I'm on it, stay out here.” Lup walked forward to go find the thing she knew nothing about.

           Okay, so what- OOOOOOOH~!!!  This safe had some pretty nice stuff!  But thievery can come later. First things first, the relic.  Well, before that, she grabbed her knife.  _ Now  _ it was time to find the relic.  So, uh. 

           What the hell was she looking for?

           Whatever it was was probably in this huge pile in the center of the room, right?  Yeah, that sounds right. She rummaged through the mess, pocketing a few of the things that caught her eye, each item seemingly more valuable than the last.  Seriously, she could make some serious- “Lup!” “Ga-ah!”

           She jumped and turned around, doing her best to not look guilty as hell.  Merle had entered the safe, probably anticipating her looting it. “We're kind of on a tight schedule here.  Train's gonna crash in, like, eight minutes. Did you find the relic yet?” “...no.” Merle's face was not exactly a pleasant one.  “Well, do you have any ideas what  _ this  _ is?”  He handed her a silver compass.  At least, it  _ looked  _ like a compass, but it didn't have any directions on it.  She took up the compass and quickly examined it. It stayed pointing the same direction no matter which way she tilted it.  Huh. She took a few steps towards the door of the safe, trying to get better lighting. That was when the needle shifted. Oh?

          Lup turned back towards the pile and took a few steps around it.  The needle stayed pointing at the pile no matter where she stood. “Hey, Merle.  I think this is a tracking device.” And as much as Lup would  _ love  _ to stay here and steal more shit, she should get a head start on figuring out that wand.  She threw the compass back to Merle. “Prolly leads to the relic. Think you can find it while I try to slow the train?”  He shrugged, “I'll certainly try.” “Good enough for me.”

          Lup walked back out into the outer part of the cargo car, where Magnus was guarding the door to the safe, to get the port wand.  Alright, she clapped her hands together and bent down, her staff hooked over her wrist, and- All of a sudden, her umbrastaff shot open, thrust itself inside out, and devoured the wand.

           . . . Yeah, okay, WHAT THE  **_FUCK!?_ ** WAS  **_THAT!?_ ** Lup blinked in shock at the now empty spot on the floor.  Uh!??? Okay, what the fuck does she do about that now!???  Fuck, okay, uh… “ _ Hey,  _ guys?”  She slowly turned around and stood up to face everyone, sans Merle.  “So, bad news,” she nervously looked away, “The wand is gone, we're not getting in that engine room.” 

           Jess, in particular, was very alarmed.  Her eyes widened and she gritted her teeth, “ _ What.”   _ Magnus, too, seemed very panicked.  “So, uh… how do we stop the train?” “It would seem we don't, my friend.”  Lup looked back up, a feeling like lead started to pool in her stomach.

           Graham hurridly, nervously checked his pocket watch, “Then we're gonna collide with Neverwinter in about three minutes.”  Oh,  _ fuck,  _ okay.  “Uh, what's going on out here?”  Merle reemerged from the safe. “We're gonna crash straight into the city.”  Lup wrung her umbrastaff between her hands and tapped her foot anxiously, desperately trying to think of a solution.  

           “Okay,” she slammed the tip of her staff against the floor, “I have a terrible idea, but it's all I got.  Graham, time check?” “A minute and a half!” “Okay, looks like I'm gonna have to go through with this, then.  Everyone, stay in here and try to hold on to something!”

           Without even looking back to see if they had listened to her, Lup ran out of the door of the caboose and climbed up to the roof of the train car.  God, this was a bad idea. As quickly as she could, while making she sure wouldn't fall off, Lup shakily crawled her way overtop to the other end of the cargo car, where it connected to the sleeper car.  “Can't believe I'm doing this.” Lup wedged herself between the connecting car, stuck her knife in the material that sealed the walkways together, and swiped down, effectively burning enough away to show the metal fixtures beneath.  Resheathing her blade, she grabbed onto a bar on the outside of cargo car, pressed her body as tightly against it as she could, aimed her staff at the connection, closed her eyes, and cast the largest blast of fire she had ever produced in her life.

           The heat melted straight through the connecting beams, the molten steel collecting and burning through the wheels, eventually bringing the cargo car to a messy, gradual stop.  Before that, though, Lup still had a flaming train hurtling towards a large, densely populated city to deal with. As soon as the smoke from the initial blast of flame had subsided enough to see, she pointed her staff at the engine car and levitated it, somehow drawing enough power to lift the wheels right off of the tracks, the momentum almost completely flipping the train in mid air. 

           The cargo car, its wheels gone and some of its framing burned away, scraped right past the flaming chaos above, screeching to a halt a few feet in front of the gate to Neverwinter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all these short chapters! The thrilling conclusion of the train chapters will be at the beginning of the next one. Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	17. Carnival Chaos and Moonlit Merchantry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a farewell to their companions on the train, Lup and the gang celebrate the Midsummer Solstice, only to be interrupted by a mysterious event. They also go shopping in the dead of night. Lup comes into some cash, Magnus makes a deal, and Merle is the only one that pays attention.

          Lup breathed a sigh of relief, slumping against the bar she had been holding onto.  That… went far better than she had expected. Ah- but, she should probably go check to see if everyone was still alive and all.   
  
          She slid down the bar and kicked open the handle to the door that used to lead into sleeper cars.  “Everyone good in there?” “What. The. FUCK.” Well, Jess was still alive, at least. Lup cast another spell, freezing the metal below and around the doorway so everyone could actually get out.     
  
          She jumped down and offered help, which everyone took but Jess.  Graham looked like he had fainted several times and was about to again.  Angus, though a little beaten up, was relatively fine. Magnus and Merle- wait.   She helped Merle down before kneeling to his eye level. “Did you find it!?” “Oh, yeah! It's like this-” He was cut off by the explosion of the rest of the train, now positioned so that the engine was pointed directly down, falling and crashing into the tracks, demolishing the entire area, followed the yelling of law enforcement on the platform at the station.   
  
          Angus greeted the Neverwinter Militia with a badge he produced from inside his jacket.  “It's okay, they're with me.” The chaos began to subside as Angus led them away and the local authorities began to deal with the wreckage.  Then Jess walked up to them. “Okay. Listen. You three.” Ah shit, now the aftermath of this . “I-uh, I gotta say. That was pretty exciting.  And, I know we just went through some real shit, but, uh… If you guys ever wanna come to one of my matches, I can get you in for free. Uh, on the house, just say the word.” Oh! That was far better than Lup was expecting.  “Uh, sure, thanks, Jess.” “Uh, yeah. See ya!” And with that, Jess was gone.   
  
          Graham was walking over to the trio, probably to say goodbye as well, but Lup was gone before he could even say anything.  She had waited LONG ENOUGH to steal all this shit. Her next robe should definitely have deeper pockets.    
  
          She began to root through the remaining valuables, grabbing everything she could.  Silverware, a tiara, a briefcase, everything here was getting sold for profit.   
  
          Lup came out just in time to say goodbye Angus, who was just about to leave.  “Oh! Miss Lup! I was just about to ask about you!” “Oh yeah?” She sat on the edge of the doorway, trying to keep the noise of the stolen treasures in her pockets to a minimum.  “Mm-hm! Um, pardon me, but you didn't happen to find a set of silverware in there, did you?" Lup shook her head, “Sorry, kiddo. All the metal in there's super destroyed.” He looked very disappointed.  “Oh, that's… that's okay, uh… So, as I was saying,” he turned back to Magnus and Merle, “if you guys ever run into any mysteries you can't solve, drop me a line and I'll be there in a flash. Bye!”   
  
                      ========================   
  
           The three of them ducked out of town and into a nearby, secluded area before summoning a glass sphere.  The ride back, though scenic, only reminded them just how exhausted they were. Even Avi's cheerful disposition did little to stir them.  Oh, Avi!   
  
          Lup sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  “Hey guys! How'd it go? Did you recover another relic?”  “Mm-hm!” Lup stepped out from sphere. “Oh, awesome! You guys are unstoppable!  Let's get you down to the Director's chamber!”   
  
          The three were met with a regal applause from the Director, “I can't believe you've done it again!”  An armed guard wheeled out another lead ball. “Please place the relic in there.” Merle produced it from his pocket.  It looked to be a shimmering monocle with a silver chain. Pretty, but what the hell does it do? The Director spoke as the sphere was closed up and wheeled away for destruction.  “You have just destroyed another incredibly powerful relic. That relic was imbued with impossible illusion magic. We call it the Oculus. And it was able to turn anything you create with illusion magic into something real.”  Damn, that sounded really cool. So why didn't- Ah! Lup grabbed at her head and a chill ran down her back. All of a sudden, she felt really uneasy. Was she just that tired?   
  
         “So, did your mission go smoothly?  I had expected you to be able to get the relic before the train departed, but, ah...”  “Well, you know,” Lup shook her head and stretched her arms up casually, trying to dismiss her fatigue, “There was only one death we were responsible for, so I'd say it went pretty well.”  “Excellent. Excellent work. Davenport!” She clapped for Davenport, who quickly came out holding a familiar silver tray, a large bag full of gold pieces and a trio of tokens placed on top. Aw, yes!   
  
          Lup swiped up the bag, along with the tokens.  She counted out the gold while the others finished up the details.  And, altogether it was about… two thousand, one hundred pieces! Seven hundred of that for her, plus- oh shit.  Lup suddenly became acutely aware of just how heavy her pockets were. Uh... just how much had she stolen off of that train?     
  
          Her train of thought was interrupted as her head panged again, bringing a hand up to her temple.  However much it was, it was gonna have to wait until morning. She was clearly far too tired to deal with Fantasy Costco right now.   
  
                      =====================   
  
          Lup did not go shopping the next morning.     
  
          She was woken up by a gentle shake from Carey.  “Hey, Lup!” She groaned, pulling her blanket overtop of her head.  “Oh, come on! There's something cool happening today!” Lup responded with a muffled “What.”  “So every now and then, we have events, so everyone can just hang out.” “Mm-hmmmmmm.” “And today's the Midsummer Solstice.”  “Mmmm.” “And there's games and food and everyone's in costu-” Lup shot up and pulled her blanket down. “You had me at food. Let's go.”   
  
          Lup grabbed for her- huh?  Her robe was gone? Well, it was already pretty janked up and all her stuff was out of its pockets, so it didn't really matter, she guessed.  She can just buy a new one later.   
  
          “Well, hang on.”  Carey stepped in front of her.  “You're still gonna need a costume.”  Damn it! She didn't even have anything!  Uh… She looked questioningly at Carey. “Got anything I can wear?” “Oh, definitely!”  The dragonborn ran over to the dorm's shared closet. Carey, for whatever reason, had several large disguise kits, which took up a good majority of the closet space.  She pulled out one of the large kits, dragging it by the handle and kicking it open. “Let's see…” She dug through the piles of colorful fabric, murmuring to herself. “No, no, damn it, where's… ah-HAH! Here it is!” She pulled up a mess of shimmering orange and red fabric. “Uh?” Lup tilted her head. “What exactly… is that? “  “Okay, so,” Carey messily scooped up the garment in its entirety, “I was thinking. That you,” she pointed at Lup, “have a pretty fiery personality.” She winked. “And also, I have never needed to ever wear this for anything ever, so here.” Carey handed her the disguise. Uncrumpling it and holding it up, Lup could now see that she had been given a sort of phoenix based musketeer costume.  A strange running theme, but alright. It had a puffy, yellow-orange half-cloak, covered in feathers that seemed to change in color when the light hit them. Underneath hung a red shirt with belled sleeves and a neckline that seemed to shine iridescently, as well as large, puffy, blood red shorts and a floppy, red hat sporting several large, fluffy feathers. “Carey, why the hell do you even own this.” “Well, I don't anymore! You do! Now get dressed up and we can go!”   
  
          Well, it was definitely… colorful, and not exactly Lup's style, but if this is what she had to wear to get free food, so be it.   
  
                      ========================   
  
          It was certainly not a comfortable costume.  Lup tugged at her half cloak, adjusting and readjusting it endlessly as she walked out to the event with Carey, who had disguised herself with a pair of rather convincing false dragon wings and ornate faux leather armor.   
  
          After having spent a few hours with and waving goodbye to the dragonborn, who was going to find and spend the rest of the day with Killian, Lup booked it to the food tent.  She was gonna eat every damn thing in this tent, and absolutely NO ONE was gonna stop her- “LUP!!!” Except those two, god DAMN IT. Lup sighed and slumped down in defeat. “Hi, Magnus.” She turned around, “Wha- Magnus.”     
  
          He ran up to her, Merle trailing behind him in a rather impressive cosplay.  But, right now, she was more focused on the man who was wearing her clothes. “Cool costume, Lup!”  “Yeah, thanks, Mags. Just a quick question.” “Yeah?” “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING MY CLOTHES?” “I'm disguised as you!!!”  He posed, showing off his outfit, which was very clearly not made for him. “...why? No. You know what? Never mind. I don't wanna know.  Just don't rip anything.” “You got it!” Lup cringed at a tearing sound as Magnus swung his arm for a thumbs up.   
  
          Lup crossed her arms and leaned her weight casually onto one foot with a tired expression.  “So, what have you fellas been up to?” Magnus leaned back. “Well, we were gonna hang at the open bar.”  Lup's ears twitched up in interest. Merle shook his head and put up a warning hand. “Our roommate’s bartending, trust me, you don't want to drink anything he's serving.”  “Noted.” Her ears drooped in disappointment. “So what was your plan now?” “They call it,” Magnus held out his arms, holding two fried… cylinders? “The Double Barrel Special.” “Mags, I don't even want to begin to try to guess what that is, and I sincerely don't want to know.”  “That is for the best. ” Merle assured her, with an almost haunted look in his eyes.   
  
          “Also, we've been banned from all of the carnival games.”  “Oh, of course you have.” Lup shifted an eyebrow, amused, before glaring lightly.  “Listen, I'm gonna hit all these stands, I'll meet you back here in ten.”   
  
                      ======================   
  
          Just when Lup had rejoined the other two, after having eaten a rather impressive amount of various fried foods in a rather short amount of time, and began to walk towards the main area, the Director's voice sounded out across the festivities.  “Attention, everyone. The Eclipse is about to take place. If you would like to join us in the yard for the viewing of The Eclipse, it should be here in just a minute or so.”   
  
          Lup was handed a pair of dark sunglasses.  She placed them upon her face and walked further into the mob, keeping close to Magnus and Merle, and looked up.  The sky began to darken as the moon shifted closer and closer towards the sun. Just as they were about to align however, a deafening shriek sounded out, sending everyone to the ground.   
  
         Lup curled in tightly against herself in her half kneeling position and pressed her hands as tightly against her ears as they would go, to no avail.  She peeked through her scrunched up eyes, only to shoot them open in shock, as the sky had turned pitch black, a white circle barely showing through where the sun had been.  The sound only increased in volume as time went on, like a thousand orchestras playing at once. Slowly, yet somehow quickly at the same time, thousands upon thousands of whispers began to seep into the chaos.  Nothing to say, white noise screaming at a hellish level. It must've only been about thirty seconds, but the noise seemed to stretch eternally. Just before the cacophony came to an end, the sun was completely blotted out, thousands upon thousands of bright, blinding, white eyes burned into the sky, unblinking and staring abysmally, endlessly.   
  
          And then they were gone.  It was over. Just as quickly as it had begun.  The moon parted from the sun and the chaos was gone.     
  
          Lup stayed where she was, curled up, arms clenched around herself as she recovered from the abuse to her senses, both her eyes and her ears thoroughly assaulted.  After about a minute, the other two helped her to her feet, leaning her weight heavily against them. The Director was the first to one to sit up and survey the scene, Lup, Magnus, and Merle being the only ones left standing or awake.  She seemed absolutely stunned, and a bit disoriented. Magnus slapped her. She slapped him back.   
  
          Now no longer disoriented, the Director took one long look across the fallen crowd before turning very seriously back to the trio.  She spoke, out of breath, “I- I need you all to debrief with me. In my office.”   
  
                      ========================   
  
          “I- was incapacitated by whatever happened out there.  Please, I need you all to describe to me what happened out there.”  The Director was sitting at her desk, now alert, but very concerned.  Lup was not quite as alert. Magnus had almost had to carry her to the Director's office.  And maybe it was just side effects from earlier, but whenever she tried to move closer towards the Director's desk, her head began to spin and her skin tingled with discomfort.  She was currently sitting on the floor, one leg kicked out in front of her, the other up at her chest, leaning and resting her head on her arms. Magnus and Merle answered whenever the Director would question, but Lup wasn't really listening.  They could just fill her in later. Her head was pounding.   
  
          She glanced up when Merle tapped her on the shoulder.  “Hey, Lu?” She groaned a response. “We're good to go now.  Can you make it back to your dorm?” She groaned again.   
  
          After a second, Magnus leaned down and hoisted Lup over his shoulder.  Normally, she'd complain about being carried this way, but she could hardly even think.  Strangely enough, though, she felt a bit better when she left the office, slightly more alert.  Her head still hurt and she was still exhausted, sure, but she was no longer lightheaded and her skin had stopped crawling.  Once they had left the Director's dome, she even felt well enough to walk herself back to her dorm.   
  
          Lup slammed the door behind her, leaning back against it.  Her thoughts were still a bit fuzzy. What… what happened today?  She pushed away from the door and tore her cloak off, throwing it aside.  Maybe washing her face would help clear her head? She walked into the bathroom and drew some water, as cold as she could get it.  Lup drew up her sleeves and leaned down, gathering the cool water in her hands and throwing it up to her face. She grabbed a towel and patted away at her face, drying up the persistent water.  She miserably looked up at the mirror… and couldn't bring herself to look away.   
  
          She pushed her hair behind her ear, searching for… something.  Her face looked the same as it always did, but…   
  
          A slamming door disrupted her focus.  She… was just really tired, is all. Yeah, that was probably it… Probably…  Lup changed back into her regular clothes and dragged herself over to her bed.  Carey and Killian had already passed out, themselves. Looks like that thing from earlier had really done a number on them too.     
  
          Lup closed her eyes, but she couldn't really sleep.  Something about today… well, it was almost… familiar?  Her head throbbed again. God, no, that didn't make any goddamn sense.  Maybe the Director had said something useful? She'd have to ask the others later.  She curled up and didn't move again until late into the night.   
  
                      ======================   
  
          Lup stretched up, basking in the moonlight that snuck in through the dorm's window.  She definitely felt much better after being unconscious for... what was it, midnight? So that's about… oh, uh… much longer than she should have been asleep for.  Oops. Well, she might as well get some shit done. Lup grabbed a plain looking rucksack, which she had hidden her valuables in, hoisted it over her shoulder, grabbed her staff, and leaned against the hallway right outside her dorm.  She pulled out her stone of farspeech. Those two had better be awake too. “Hey, you guys up?” No response. “Guuuys?” Oh, come on. “M-” “Lup?” Her stone glowed gently as Merle's voice sounded. “Oh, good, you're up! I was gonna head down to the Fantasy Costco, and I have all our gold and tokens.  You two good to meet me?” The stone was silent for a moment before glowing again, “Yeah, sure. We'll be right there.”    
  
                      =======================   
  
          “Why is she in charge of our finances?”  “She's kinda self proclaimed.” Lup's ears twitched up in recognition as Magnus and Merle's conversation neared her.  She shifted her rucksack again, trying to balance the weight. “Hey~!” She waved two sacks of gold when the others were within sight.  “Costco first, tokens next. You two get seven hundred each.” She tossed the bags over towards the men, turning into the store entryway as she did so.   
  
           Fantasy Costco, where all your dreams come true, got a deal for you~!   
  
          The jingle played as she stepped through the door.  First things first, she had to sell her shit. Lup had still not built up her strength that had depleted from the last decade, and a bag full of metal was seriously starting to have its effects.  She wandered over the customer service desk, dropped her bag on the counter, and withdrew her items to be appraised. A golden tiara, five bundles of gold silverware, each wrapped in a lovely red napkin and tied with golden ribbons, a dragon scale briefcase, and a set of solid silver silverware.  She waited for the appraiser to finish up, adding the total in her head as they went on. 20 gold for the FAKE golden tiara, because of course it was, plus 50 gold pieces per silverware bundle, so that was 270, plus 30 pieces for the FAKE dragon scale briefcase, god damn it, so that's 300, plus the silverware set at 25,000 gol- WHAT!?   
  
          Lup's heart nearly stopped.  That set was worth how much!?  Uh, yes! Sell, sell, sell! She walked away with 26,000 gold pieces, holy shit, she wasn't gonna make good use of that at all .   
  
          After a quick stop at the clothing department, picking up a set of clothes that Magnus hadn't stolen, Lup walked over to the sales counter to legally buy some items like a good moon employee would.  She was gonna buy everything here, just because she could. But first! A bag of holding. This gold was way heavier than her treasure was. What was that, three thousand gold? Sure! She had money to burn!   
  
          She placed her rucksack, and everything in it, into the bag of holding.  That was much better. Now then, time for actual sho- “What!?” Magnus's voice sounded from the customer service counter.     
  
          “What do you MEAN, you aren't gonna buy this crab shield!?  I worked hard on that!” “Sir, please, this… shield is almost cracked in half, singed at the at ends, and it smells terrible.  I'm not buying that. What am I gonna do with that!?” “Sell it to some sucker, like I am!” “Sir-” “I can't believe this. Fantasy Costco is supposed to be the home of all bargains.  You call this a deal!?” “ Sir-” The employee was suddenly shoved roughly aside by… some sort of cloaked figure? “Did somebody say deals!?”    
  
          Lup… was gonna ignore that.  Back to shopping. Now, let's see, what shit could she waste her money on?  She waved the clerk over. “Hey!” “Yes, Miss? How can I help you?” “I'm looking to buy some stuff.  Any recommendations?” “Why, of course! You look like quite an adventurer, so may I interest you in any of these fine items?”  The clerk waved to the wall behind them and picked up… a doll? “This haunted doll, perhaps?” ... what. “ Please explain how that is at all useful to me.”  “Well, they say that this doll, once bonded, will sacrifice themself to save their owner. Very useful, no?” Actually, that sounds really useful. But did she really want to buy that… that… well, you know what?  Whatever. Her life was already so goddamn weird. What was one more thing? “Yeah, sure, I'll take it. But, come on. You've gotta have something real good back there.” “Ah, I see you're a woman of discerning taste.  What are your thoughts on…” They ducked down below the counter and pulled out a small, pastel colored cube. “This Pocket Spa? You can pull it out anytime and-” “Just sell me it.” “A pleasure doing business with you, Miss.”   
  
          Hell yeah, she was only out about five thousand gold!  Now, what were those other two up to-? “LUUUUUUUUP~!!!”   Magnus warbled, frantic footsteps quickly approaching her.  She turned to see an absolutely elated Magnus, almost crying with excitement and cupping his hands around something.  “Mm? What's up, Mags?” “Look at my new best friend!!!” He uncupped his hands to reveal a small, glass orb with a goldfish peacefully swimming in circles inside of it.  Lup bent over to get a closer look. Uh, cute, but… it didn't seem magical or useful in any way? “Can he do anything?” “His name is Steven and he loves me!” Magnus cupped his hand back around the orb, lovingly.     
  
         Lup smirked lightly and leaned back casually.  “Does Steven want to go exchange some tokens at the Artificer's Dome?”  “Oh! Yeah! You still have those, right?” Lup pulled out and shook a small bag, a quiet rattle confirming its contents.  Then let's go!”   
  
          Seeing how it was now about two in the god damn morning, it was no surprise that the Artificer's Dome was not open.  But like hell that was gonna stop these three. Lup mage handed her way to the other side of the handle and unlocked the door.  It was dark inside, so she illuminated the area, as per Magnus's request. “Alright, you two go deal with the gachapon, I'll find that book.”  Easier said than done. She tore through the desk, breaking locks where she needed to. But she also didn’t want to make it too apparent that there had been a break in, either.  After all, this was a legal transaction, just after hours. She sifted through the piles of books behind the desk, tossing one after the other until- aha! Found it! Damn, it was heavy. She heft it unto the desk and opened it up to the center, landing somewhere between shields and shoes.     
  
          Lup left to spend her token.  She wasn’t an idiot, she knew how this thing worked now.  A quick turn and a capsule fell out, small and spherical. Alright, time for some- what the fuck .  A tongue lolled out of the capsule, bloody and split down the middle.   
  
          ...listen, Lup could put up with a lot of shit.  And, all things considered, she really had put up with quite a bit.  Getting trapped in a cave for a decade with amnesia, going temporarily blind, watching an entire city burn down, solving a brutal murder?  That was a lot for a person to go through! But what the absolute FUCK was with THIS!? THIS was kinda pushing her patience!!! Fuck, okay. She should probably look up… tongues?  Is there a section for that? She walked back to the book, careful to keep the tongue far away from its pages. Let’s see, tongues, tongues… oh! There actually is a section on tongues!  Just one entry; The Forked Tongue. ‘Once a day, this tongue can be used to tell a lie, no matter how ridiculous.’ Oh, hell, yes! Forget what she had just said, this tongue fucking rocks!   
  
          “What’d ya get, Lu?”  Merle was sporting a new pair of slippers with wings at the heels.  She leaned one hand casually back on the desk and pulled up her new item, “This bloodied tongue.”  “Hey, Lup, what the fuck. ” Magnus, who had adorned himself with a new glove, was staring, unnerved and in a cold sweat.  She shrugged, pocketing it, “I live like I'm dying, chaos is drawn to me. Are we done here?” "I guess, yeah." "Okay, so," Lup leaned her other hand back.     
  
           "So, uh, did the Director say anything important earlier?"  "Oh, that's right! You were- uh- on the floor. I think we talked about the thing from earlier, but I'm pretty sure I was stoned on unicorn di-"  "Merle, what did you hear?" Merle shuffled a bit closer. "Oh, uh, we discussed the... event from earlier. Apparently it was only on the moon base and we're not suppose'ta talk to anyone about it.  We're also suppose'ta try to recover the relics faster. She seemed kinda stressed, thought it was a bad omen. Tired, too." Lup leaned her head forward. "Can't really blame her, shit was crazy. So, uh," she blinked a few times, still looking down, "You guys got any thoughts on what the fuck happened earlier?"  Magnus leaned back uncomfortably against the gachapon. "Not really. The sky kinda exploding on the moon doesn't really sound like a thing that should happen, but I've never really seen an eclipse on the moon before, so who am I to say?" "I guess," Lup looked to her side before glancing back up at Magnus, "but... did... did something about that feel a little... familiar?  To anyone else?" "Now that you mention it..." Merle scrunched his face, "Yeah, kinda... Did that... happen before?" "Probably not, but..." Magnus crossed his arms, "it totally does kind of feel like I've seen that before." He looked down at Merle. "I'm not still high, am I?" Lup huffed, glaring, "I don't think unicorn dick's got you high, Mags." "See, I didn't think so either, but THEN-"  "Mags-!" She exhaled, shoulders slumping. "So... we all agree that whatever that was... might have happened before? Somehow?" The men nodded in agreement.   
  
           Lup looked away again, mumbling, "Well, that's not comforting."  She glanced back at her companions. "So we just gotta wait for our next mission, huh?  We good to break for tonight?" "Uh-huh." "Alright, well, see you guys." She waved and turned out of the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, apparently if Taako hadn't given Angus a fork from the silverware set, it would've been worth 20-30,000 gold pieces. Fortunately for Lup, she shamelessly lied to a child. If anyone would like me to draw anyone in their costumes, just comment below and I'll respond as soon as I can. Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


	18. Shafted by Vines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang is sent to investigate Goldcliff! Magnus carries the team, Merle finds love, and Lup has had e-nough.

            

            Lup landed her flip into a semi kneeling position and swung her wooden knife at Killian, who skillfully dodged away from it's blunt blade before firing several dulled bolts from her crossbow.  Lup rolled away from the projectiles and pulled out her umbrastaff, shooting a beam of playful sparks, in the absence of an actual spell, her direction before spinning around and slamming her knife against Killian’s crossbow, forcing it to aim up and away from her.  She smirked. These training sessions were really helping Lup build her strength back up, her once thin and frail frame now starting to become well toned and muscular. So it goes without saying that Lup was getting pretty psyched to try fighting actual enemies now, rather than her companions.  She was just about to disarm her sparring partner when the Director's voice sounded out throughout the icosagon. “Will reclaimers Burnsides, Highchurch, and Luup please report to my office for an urgent matter?”

           Killian swung her leg beneath Lup's ankles, sending her to the ground with a surprised ‘Eep!’  “What a shame, you almost won that one.” She looked down playfully at Lup, holding out an arm to help her up.  Lup pouted mockingly and took her hand. “So how's it feel to win for once?” Killian pulled her up to her feet.  “Pretty good. See you later, Lup!” “Later!” Lup collected her umbrella and ran to meet up with Magnus and Merle, who had been training with Avi and… well, honestly, she didn't know _who_ this other guy was, but the other two seemed to know him, so whatever, she guessed.

           Regal as ever, the Director greeted the trio into her office.  And almost on cue, Lup's head spun and her skin crawled, though, not nearly as badly as the last time she was in here.  The Director laid down some papers she had been sorting through and stood up, wielding her staff. “I have an urgent mission for the three of you.  You'll need to depart posthaste.” Lup rubbed her hand against her head. “What is it?” “I need you three to report to the city of Goldcliff. Certainly you've been?  You're familiar?” “I'm drawing a blank, Miss D.” She cringed a little at Lup's nickname. “Uh, Goldcliff is the financial seat of power in the realm. It's where the money lives.”  Magnus and Merle nodded knowingly, as though this was not new knowledge.

           “There's a grand relic one of our seekers has found in the city of Goldcliff.  It is in the possession of a master criminal known as The Raven. The Raven is named for the black feathered mask that she wears.  You will need to apprehend her and retrieve the relic that she has been utilizing to wreak havoc. This time, I can actually give you some helpful information as to the nature of this relic.”  “Tell us, Madame Director!” Magnus seemed relieved to actually have a lead this time.

           “The relic she has claimed is called the Gaia Sash, which gives the wearer control of nature.  Control of wind, and thunder, and flora- everything like that. And what makes this curious is that The Raven has taken up residence in one of the biggest cities in all the land, and not in the forest, where she would be impossible to apprehend.”  The Director straightened up fully against her staff. “You will need to go to Goldcliff, work with the militia, and secure the sash- all while still acting under the sort of level of discretion we require from you, without too many people catching on.”

           “We have a seeker on the ground that you can get more information from, and you'll need to regroup with.  He's also acting discreetly as his position is fairly high up and he wouldn't want to give himself away. Ah,”  she noticed Lup's dull expression, “uh, his name is Captain Bane, and he is the captain of the Goldcliff militia.  I trust the three of you can handle this now?”

           “Uh, yeah, sure thing, Madame Director, we'll head out now.”  Lup huffed and beckoned for the rest of her party. “Thank you, and good luck.”  The Director waved out to them before turning back to her desk, leaning down to whisper something Davenport.

                     =========================

           They were met at the launchpad by Avi, who was still a bit sweaty from training.  “Oh, hey guys! You heading out?” Lup nodded, “Yeah, another mission.” “Sweet!” He turned to an input pad of sorts.  “Where you guys off to?” “Uh,” Lup looked at Magnus for help. “We're heading to Goldcliff, Avi!” “Oh, cool!” Avi tapped a few things, “Just get in a sphere and I can send you on your way.  Good luck, guys!”

           Lup climbed into the sphere, in the back this time.  Last time she was in charge of driving, she killed a few pegasi and crashed into a swamp.  She was not risking that again. Merle strapped in next to her and Magnus in front. How lovely.  The man who kept getting consistently magically drunk or high was the driver. She squinted at an item on his belt.  Was… was that a tankard!? It would seem the pattern persists.

           The cannon fired and the orb was thrust through the air.  This time, though, it was fired in the opposite direction.  While beautiful, this area was certainly more wastelandesque.  The sphere flew overtop of a bleak landscape, two wide crystal blue rivers ripping through it's dry soil.  Through a pair of twin waterfalls, foaming against the cliffside and flowing into the rivers, which surrounded the city, Lup could see the tops of shimmering towers peeking through this oasis.  A little bit further, and she could see the city in more detail. The city itself, unlike its surrounding desert, was lush and green and teeming with life. She leaned back a bit, a cloud of dust having caught her eye.  It was kind of hard to see, given the distance and dust, but it looked like a few wagons were racing, circling alongside the outer edge of the city. A klk-kchnk and the sphere began to slow its descent, the lever having been pulled.  

           A slowed fall allowed Lup to more closely examine a building that had caught her attention.  It must've been the biggest tower in town, at least twenty stories. On the top stood a gaudy, golden statue.  She leaned in closer against the window, enamored. It was holding a wreath that read ‘Goldcliff Trust’. Lup's eyes lit up.  No, she didn't need the money at all, but _damn_ did she want to, uh, _‘investigate_ ’ that bank.  The excitement soon faded, though, as she noticed something far more troubling.  Closer towards the base of the building, she could see gigantic, thorny vines, slowly threatening to swallow up the tower.  

           “Uh… guys?” Lup turned to get her companions’ attention.  Merle was staring out through the window, looking pretty concerned.  Magnus was drunk off his ass. Lup reached into the front and tore the tankard from his belt.  It was time for an intervention, apparently.

           The sphere landed about a quarter of a mile away from the trust.  Merle dealt with Magnus while Lup tried to figure out the magic with the tankard.  The trio walked further towards the bank, no one having been successful in their missions.  However, since Magnus was apparently really good at sobering up, he was now a lot less drunk.  Not completely sober, but tolerably tipsy. Lup stuffed the tankard into her bag of holding in a huff.

           They were greeted by some militia wagons guarding the entrance.  The base of the tower was completely enveloped in thick, barbed vines, the thorns like claws.  Vines spilled onto the street, carpeting the ground. A dozen or so militiamen were surrounding the entrance,  a particularly large wagon in the back of the crowd guarded by a broad, gruff, mustachioed man, probably in his late 60s, or so, yelling orders.  Lup lead the group towards him.

           “No! J- just get- GET OUT OF THE VINES!!!”  She tapped at his shoulder. “Excuse me-” “WHAT!?”  The man turned to her with a glare, dropping it when he failed to recognize her.  “What do you people want? I'm very busy with a crisis here!” Lup took up a very authoritative stance.  “Uh, yes, I can see that. First of all, you will _not_ be talking to me like that.”  She stated with a glare. “Secondly, _we-_ ”  She gestured to her group, “- have been sent here to meet with _you.”_ She pointed at the man, “Presumably, anyway.  Uh, you _are_ the captain, yes?”  The man looked her up and down for a second.  “Let me see your arms.” Magnus flexed. Merle stuck out his leg.  Lup stepped in front of them and held up her arm, adorned with the silver bracer.

           “Forgive my friends, they're probably under the influence.  So, you were saying?” The man, Captain Bane, crossed his arms and looked at her sternly.  “Here's the situation. The Raven is in the building, I'm guessing stealing all the gold. We managed to evacuate a lot of the building, but, uh, as you can see, we're having trouble gaining access to it ‘cause of the vines.”  

           Lup nodded, “Any civilians left in the building?”  “We think we have cleared them out.” Merle mumbled, “Aw, we're pretty good at offing civilians.”, earning him a swift kick from Lup and a horrified look from Captain Bane.  “...I gotta say that's a pretty upsetting thing for me, an officer of the law, to hear.” Magnus stumbled forward and leaned against Lup's shoulder. “Well, they usually _turn out_ to be bad, we just don't know that when we do it.”  Lup groaned and put her face in her hands. “And besides!  The only time they _weren't_ bad was when we blew up-”  “OKAY, LET'S GO FIX THE BANK.”  Lup grabbed the men's arms and dragged them towards the vine covered entrance.

           Walking closer, the vines were not completely encompassing every square inch of the building.  In fact, the doorway was still visible. Before Lup could even say anything, Magnus had withdrawn his axe and started hacking at the vines.  However, the vines regrew, recovering the area faster than he could hack them apart. Well, okay, Lup _was_ just gonna burn this shit down, but apparently that's not gonna work.  She turned to Merle, who was furiously flipping through his book with a determined look.  He stopped on a page with a pleased expression before gently pushing Lup back a few steps.  “Step aside, Lu! I think I've got a solution!” She obliged, pulling Magnus back towards her by his axe with a mage hand.  

           Lup had noticed that Merle's spells had seemed a lot more… plant-like, lately.  Had he changed deities? Whatever. She crossed her arms, idly listening in while- **_wait._ ** Her face stiffened.  That sounded a lot less like a _spell_ and a _lot_ more like- he wasn't trying to fucking _seduce_ these vines, was he!?  “Hey, baby, I _love_ your tendrils.”  

           OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, HE WAS!!!  Lup cringed, whining, “Me~rle~!”  Magnus was clearly just as disgusted,  “Merle, no!” Merle waved back to them.  “Come on, guys! Help me out! Sing something!”  Lup pulled her hood up and over her eyes. “No, absolutely not.”  “I am _not_ helping with that, Merle.”  Magnus was audibly upset. Merle cooed to the plant again.  “Look at that sweet, sweet pollen sac~.” Lup pulled her hood tighter in protest.  “Merle, you are _literally_ killing me right now.  I'm in hell, and _you_ are Satan.”  An audible puff sounded from the plants.  Lup didn't even wanna imagine what that was.  Of all times to have an acute sense of hearing.

           “Alright, door's open!”  Merle called out, proudly.  Magnus and Lup both wheezed out a disgusted groan before reluctantly walking through the doorway.  The vines shut the door behind them with a loud creak. Lup pulled her hood down with a grimace before looking around.  

           The lobby was posh, a regal carpet rolled out on top of sleek marble floors with massive columns sprouting up out of the ground and a grand fountain sitting in the center.  Interrupting the elegance of the room was a gigantic, crooked tree, shooting out from inside the fountain, water spilling out over the edges. A few vines floated idly.

           Well, first things first, they might as well investigate.  Lup started to walk towards the teller booths at the other end of the room when she froze, a great creaking sound stopping her in her tracks.  She turned slowly, cautiously towards the sound. Her gaze was met by the gaze of the tree, having turned to look at her with its knotted, wooden eyes.  Oh, great, a treant. Just what she wanted! Lup barely jumped back in time to dodge a great, barbed limb that swung in her direction, slipping into a seated position in the water.

           “Hey, guys! The tree's attacking!”  Merle was able to heed Lup's warning and dodged the brambles as well.  Magnus was not as lucky. The branch slammed into him, sending him flying back towards the entrance.  

           Lup pushed herself back into a standing position, struggling to keep her balance on the slippery bank floor.  Merle healed Magnus, who looked like he really needed it, damn. That tree can do some real damage. She'd really have to make sure she didn't get hit.  Lup stepped forward and slid back down into the water. Okay, well that was gonna be pretty damn hard like this!

           Lup pushed herself back up and shot a beam of fire between herself and the fountain.  The heat quickly evaporated the water, steam filling the air, a sort of camouflage. Oh!  That wasn't exactly what she was trying to do, but that could certainly be useful. The only issue was it would also be hard for the rest of her team to see, as well.  Looks like she was gonna have to go back to her old tactics.

           Lup struck her staff against the ground, a loud clack sounding, allowing her to get a rough idea of where everyone was.  Merle was huddled down, about twenty feet from the fountain and away from the entrance. Magnus was back up, standing in a fierce battle stance about forty feet away and right in front of the entryway.  The treant was still in the center, limbs poised for an attack. The sound of her staff sent a thorny bough her way. She really should have expected that. Needles shot their way into her abdomen, piercing into her skin and shooting her back against the wall with tremendous force, about thirty feet.  

           Lup slammed against the wall and fell to the floor limply with a wheeze.   _Fuck,_ that hurt.  After a second, she moved her arms to get up,  dropping uselessly back down. Any time she tried to move, the slashes in her chest burned in protest, blood leaking.  She grabbed for her staff and lit the end with a pale red light, just strong enough to barely be seen through the mist.  She heard footsteps, a few heavy ones at first, towards her, then many more away from her. Then again, footsteps, a bit lighter this time, racing towards her.

           Merle's figure appeared next to her, and, after a moment, a light enveloped Lup's body, sealing her wounds and restoring her strength.  She groaned a ‘thanks’ before pathetically pushing herself up onto her knees. Then a loud _THUNK_ sounded out across the lobby, followed a slow creak and a heavy slam, sending the surrounding steam billowing away from its source.  A deafening shriek rang out.

           The air a bit clearer, Lup could kind of see what had happened.  Magnus was standing triumphantly by the fountain, axe in hand. A bit to the left, a giant log lay against the smashed debris of former booths. Lup swallowed dryly.  Actually, it's probably a pretty good thing she wasn't standing over there anymore.

           Lup stood up and started to swiftly make her way over with Merle.  Magnus swung at the tree again, hitting it with a satisfying _thunk._ A small, whiplike, and thorned branch struck back against him, staggering just a bit.  Lup pointed her staff and shot out a burst of flame in retaliation. All of a sudden, the vines surrounding the fountain sprang to life and shot out at her, wrapping themselves tightly around her extended arm and completely taking hold of her staff.  Lup struggled uselessly against her assailants before turning her head back towards Merle. “Merle, you wanna do something here!?” He frantically flipped through his book and set off towards the trunk of the treant.

          Lup pulled and twisted her arm, trying to free it, to no avail.  More vines wrapped around her leg and pulled her down onto one knee.  She grabbed for her knife, unflipping the sheathe and pulling it wildly from her side, slicing through a few tendrils as she swung it.  Several vines fell to the floor, singed and writhing. Lup swung her knife again, sliding it against her leg. More of her bonds burned away, their vice-like grip releasing.  As she moved to slice away more, however, several more vines wrapped around her again, holding her striking arm tightly against her side, with no way she could even hope to move it.  Alright. Fuck it.

           She leaned forward towards her arm with which she was holding her umbrastaff and sank her teeth into the fibrous restraints, ripping it off of her.  Her arm now free, she blasted a small burst of flame, incinerating the vines holding her staff, and swung it at the now mutilated tree, shooting a powerful ball of fire.  The fireball collided with the treant, sending up a large puff of smoke.

           As the treant crumbled into ash, the remaining vines holding Lup prisoner finally released.  She let out a breath of relief and resheathed her knife, rubbing at her bruised flesh. Damn, that fight was pretty intense.  She hadn't hurt like that since- the memory of blade ghosting across her spine made her shiver. Lup blinked, long and slow, and she took a deep breath.  It was _fine_ .  That was _years_ ago.  That dwarf was _dead_ , she knew that.  The cave was _gone_.  She knew that too.  

           That was over.

           Lup shook her head to clear her mind.  Gah, the room was still covered with steam.  It was like a fucking sauna in here. She struck her staff against the ground.  The resounding clack gave her similar information to earlier, only the giant tree was gone now.  She walked over to regroup with her party, swinging her staff in front of her like a cane. She wasn't really in the mood to faceplant right now.  

           Magnus was struggling to open a lockbox while Merle wept in the corner.  Emphasis on struggling. Lup could help with _one_ of these situations.  

           She walked over to Magnus, who was currently throwing the box up in the air and dodging when it fell.  He threw it up again and Lup caught it as it dropped. “I got this, Mags.”

          She set the box on a semi raised portion of the debris and knelt down, leveling herself with the lock.  Unfortunately, she couldn't really recall any lockpicking skills. Well, there was always brute force!

           Lup unsheathed her fiery knife yet again.  Surely, this will do something? She reeled back, sinking her blade into the lock.  The harder she pressed against it, the hotter the box got. A bit more and… the box unlocked!  Okay, well, more like the mutilated lock melted through and the lock box sprang open, but it still opened, nonetheless!

           Inside the box was about… one, two, three… nine!!!  Nine hundred gold pieces!

           She… shouldn't.  This was a _bank_ , after all.  And it's not really like she _needed_ the- well, no.  You know what? A giant tree just tried to kill her.  She was taking commission for this. Lup pulled a small leather purse from out of her bag and deposited the gold.  Laying underneath the gold was an odd-looking, square key. She plucked it out and looked around. The steam had dissipated, for the most part, and she could see a pair of doors to her left.  One doorway was labeled ‘stairs’. The other was blank, with a small control panel next to it.

           Well, she may as well try to figure where this key goes.  Lup walked over to the door on the far left and examined its controls.  On the panel was a button and a slot. Logic dictates trying the key in the slot.  She turned the key. The sturdy, metal doors opened with a ‘bing-bong!’, splitting apart to reveal an elevator made entirely of glass.  Twenty buttons shone brightly on the inside, numbered one to nineteen with a ‘V’ on the twentieth.

           “Hey, you two!”  Lup called out behind her.  “Elevator and stairs over here.  You coming?” A pattering of steps approached and Magnus slid into the elevator, pressing all of the buttons on the way in.  Lup stepped her leg inbetween the doors, holding its journey. “Merle? You coming?” Her stone of farspeech lit up around her neck before sounding.  “I'll take the stairs, check every floor for anything. We can keep in touch through these.” She held her stone to her mouth. “Alright, see you on the top story.”  She withdrew her leg and walked into the elevator, the doors closing shut behind her.

                       ========================

           It looked like Lup and Magnus were _also_ stopping at every floor, thanks to _SOMEONE'S_ impatient button pressing.  Lup huffed, leaning against the back wall with her arms crossed.  Her ears twitched, annoyed, at every level, the doors opening with a ding before closing.  And the cycle continued. She threw her head back. This was gonna take a while. Ding! The doors opened.  The doors closed. Ride up. Ding! The doors opened. The doors closed. Ride u- hm?

           Lup twitched her ears up, listening intently.  She heard… a creaking. Almost like... something was pushing against- OH _SHIT!_ Lup jumped away from the exterior wall, narrowly missing the vines that shot through the glass wrapping tightly around the elevator car.  Looking down, she could see vines flooding in, wildly filling the shaft like water.

           “Magnus!” Lup called out, panic seeping into her voice.  “We're inbetween floors. We'd have to climb, but-” Magnus looked around, a bit frantically, “I don't know _where_ we'd…”  Lup looked around.  There _had_ to be some way out!  There just _had_ to be!  Uh… glass, glass, vines, no, no, no… ah-hah!  “There!” Lup pointed up at a hatch in the ceiling.  “Magnus, think you can knock the panel out?” He looked up.  “Yeah, probably. Hang on.” Magnus took a few steps back before taking a running jump, punching the panel straight out of the ceiling.  He jumped up again, climbing through the hole. Lup tied her umbrastaff securely against her thigh before jumping up to grab the edge. She was about to pull herself up when, all of a sudden, vines burst through the elevator bottom and pulled the car down with tremendous force, crashing down around Lup.  Her arm was quickly caught by Magnus, who was hanging from the cables that used to support the elevator car. He leveraged himself against the wall, allowing him to steady his grip around Lup's forearm.

           Her voice wavered, suddenly out of breath.  “Holy _shit_ , man!”  “Hang on, I'm gonna pull you up.  Grab the cable!” Magnus called down to Lup before lifting her higher.  After a moment, she was able climb onto Magnus, lifting herself over him and grabbing ahold of the cable, slightly above him.  She steadied herself against the smooth, glass wall as best she could before grabbing her stone of farspeech.

           “Hey, Merle!?  We have a bit of a situation here!!!”  “Open the elevator door, Merle!!!” Magnus shouted up towards the stone.  The stone glowed and Merle’s voice responded. “Huh? What do you-?” “OPEN THE DOOR!!!”  Lup and Magnus yelled in unison. “The elevator door on the twelfth floor, Merle!!! Open it!!!”  Lup spat at the stone. “Okay! Okay! Hang on!” The stone's glow faded. After a few long moments, a slow metal creaking sounded from above.  And then a loud slam. A crowbar fell, down into the abyss, followed by Merle. Oh, shit! Merle!

           Lup lunged down to grab him, her grip faltering from the cable and slipping off completely.  Her hand met Merle's and Magnus shot downward to catch Lup by her ankle. Oh, great, now she was supporting someone else's weight _upside down!_  “Not too great, guys!!!”  Magnus called down to the two people he was currently holding with one hand.  

           “Lup, can you magic some shit or something!?”  Lup grunted. “Well, Mags, there's a few issues with that!  One being I am upside down! Two being I can't reach my umbrastaff!  Three being I'm holding Merle! Four-!” “Okay, okay! Any suggestions!?”  “Uhhh!?” Lup's eyes darted around the elevator shaft. The vines were about fifteen feet below them.  “Merle!?” She looked down at him questioningly. “What the hell even happened, why are you _in_ here!?”  “Vines on the twelfth floor, pushed me in!” “So we have to climb to the _thirteenth_ floor!?”  “Unless you wanna fight some vines, yeah!”  “Hey!” Magnus called down again. “Do you two wanna get on this cable so we can actually do something about this!?  Or do you want me to keep holding you until we get crushed by vines!?” “Yeah, yeah, hang on!” Gah, she should probably help Merle up, right!?  Because no _way_ was he climbing her.  She grabbed Merle's arm with both hands and took a quick breath before quickly kicking off against the wall and bending up, effectively throwing Merle up onto the rope, as well as getting herself close enough to grab Magnus's shoulder upon release.  No longer needing to hang on to her, Magnus grabbed the cable with both hands, positioning them so Lup could climb up him and grab it herself.

           Lup grabbed onto the cable and wrapped her legs around.  It was time to climb, and quickly, about ten feet up. She waited a moment, wanting to stay low enough so that whatever Merle was doing didn't hit her.  His warhammer slammed against the set of doors leading out to the twelfth floor, crunching the metal together. A few wild tendrils spilled out through the crevice.  There were vines _there_ too!?  Oh, come _on!!!_

“We have to go up further!”  “Magn-” “CLIMB!!! I’M GONNA PUNCH THE DOOR IN!!!”  “OKAY!!!” Lup turned back up, “MERLE!!! CLIMB!!!” “I'm going to fourteen!!!  Don't wanna chance a lower floor!!!” Merle climbed up until he was about five feet about the exit out onto the fourteenth floor, Lup directly under him with enough room for Magnus to be level with the door.  “Okay, on the count of three, swing the cable toward the door! One..!” Lup steadied her grip. “Two..!” She position her feet against the wall, legs bent. “Three!!!” She kicked off, sending the cable swinging forwards like a pendulum.  There was a hard crash and the elevator doors flew apart, a hole bent out into the room. Lup slid down the cable a bit before jumping off and grabbing the edge of the floor, pulling herself up unto it. She crawled in a few feet before laying back with an exasperated sigh.

           On a long list of things she never wanted to do again, that was at the top.  Adrenaline rush gone, she was _exhausted._ An upside down crunch carrying another person was one of the dumbest things she had ever done.  Add in the climbing endurance, or lack thereof, and it hurt to even think about moving. Her muscles were on fire.  

           But she didn't really have the time to rest right now.  With the vines swarming the building as rapidly as they were, they had to haul ass to the top if they didn't wanna get crushed or suffocate.  With a displeased whine, Lup reluctantly turned onto her stomach and pushed herself onto her feet, untying and freeing her umbrastaff.

           They had stumbled into an office of sorts, the entire floor covered in cubicles.  Looking out through the windows, vines completely covered the glass, threatening to break through.  A rumbling came from the elevator shaft, but Lup was _not_ sticking around to see what it was.  No, she was already in the stairwell before she even thought about it.

           She heard the door reopen and close behind her as she bolted up the stairs.  Good to know the rest of her party had the same idea.

                       ========================

           Six flights of stairs later, the trio burst into the top floor, breathing heavily.  Lup bent over, hands on her knees and heaving. She had _better_ not have to fight anything else right now!!!

        The twentieth floor was dome-like in shape and a bit smaller than all the lower floors.  Sunlight shone through a large circular window on the far wall, vegetation snaking around it.  To the left of the window, hundreds of extremely thick vines lined a gaping hole in the wall, a giant, iron door laying uselessly next to them.

           A slender woman in black leather armor stood above the mess, facing the opposite wall.  Her face was covered with a mask, resembling a raven. Around her waist hung a brown belt, woven from reeds.  

           The group, having caught their breath, took on a defensive pose.  Magnus leaned down a bit, his voice low. “Hey, guys? Remember when Gundren put on the glove and kinda went batshit?  I… think that's what's happening here-” Lup placed a finger to her lips with a stern look. If they were gonna have to deal with another relic, they might as well try to get a jump on it.  She pointed to herself and then at the Raven. Then she pointed at the men and then sharply down. They nodded in understanding. Lup slunk towards the wall, pressing herself into the shadows before gesturing pointedly at Magnus.

           “HEY!!! RAVEN!!!”  The Raven jumped, startled, before turning quickly around to face the other two.  “The two of you _shouldn't_ be here.”  Aha! Lup was unseen!  So far, at least. She walked slowly around the perimeter, carefully stepping over and around any vines.

           “Look, I- I can pull the vines back and let you out, but you need to go _right_ _now._  It's not safe.”  Hm? She was… surprisingly calm.  At least, way calmer than Gundren had been.  Lup was hesitant. Even though she didn't _seem_ erratic, the Raven was _still_ under the thrall of a relic.  It was best to be cautious.

           “Uh, yeah, uh-”  Magnus didn't seem to have expected that response either.  “Do you, like, have some beef with this bank, or? Because it, uh,”  Lup slid closer, now about ten or so feet directly behind the Raven. “It doesn't really seem like you're in it for the money.”  The vines were bound closely against the walls, wound tighter together the closer they were to the vault door. Lup could sneak up on the Raven, easy, but what would she even do?  Grab the belt? Actually… that might work! Yeah, she should do that.

           The Raven laughed, empty and insincere.  “I don't need _money_ anymore.  I have become… unto a _god._ ”  She pulled a thorny whip out from behind her.  Lup stopped in her tracks. One wrong step and that whip was going straight into her face.  “Now, listen. I'd rather not hurt you, so I'd recommend that you leave. Right now.”

           “Hey, Raven!”  Magnus interjected, “No need for violence, we've seen something like this happen before!”  Thank _GOD,_ Magnus was perceptive sometimes.  “Uh, that belt-” He pointed at the belt around her waist, “-last time, there was a gauntlet, and it leveled a whole city.  And thousands of people died because that person didn't listen to us. So.” Lup inched closer, ducking down just slightly. She was about two feet behind the Raven now, and stepping on vines was about to be unavoidable.  If she was grabbing this thing, she was gonna have to just go for it.

           The Raven snickered, “I can control this, I'm not worried-”  “No, it's controlling _you!_ ”  Magnus cut her off, sounding somewhat desperate.  “Look at yourself! There's thousands of vines everywhere!”  Closer. “Yeah, it's pretty cool! I agree, it's totally rad!”  “No, it's shit!” _Closer..._  “I-listen.”  The Raven tilted her head, sneering, “I'm not going to give up the belt.  A-a part of me wishes I _could_ , but I- I am telling you, there is literally _no_ way I can give up this belt.  I need this belt in a way I don't think the two of you can understand.”  Lup lunged for the belt and pulled, planting her feet directly in the mass of vines.

           Lup fell back, immediately pulling her hands away.  It felt like she had just been struck by fucking lightning.  The Raven tumbled down right in front of her, lying there for a second before pushing herself up and whirling around furiously to face Lup.  Oh **_fuck._ **  Lup's ears drooped in dismay.  This woman was going to kill her.

           The Raven lashed her whip against her skin, sending her flying back.  Lup hit back against the wall with tremendous force, bloodied instantly.  God, how was she supposed to defend herself here!?

           Lup groped for her umbrastaff, disoriented, and aimed towards her assailant.  Magnus had just charged her, axe in hand, and was currently dealing with the consequences.  Fuck, uh… fire? Blast fire? She aimed her spell at the base of the Raven's feet. She didn't want to hurt her, she just wanted to incapacitate her.  A burst of flame shot out towards the woman, burning away some of her shoes. She didn't look too thrilled. _Fuck._  The Raven once again swung her whip towards Lup, slicing across her chest and sending her to back the ground.

           She blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, a six month anniversary!!! Honestly can't believe I've kept with this for so long. A huge thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read even a paragraph of this! And happy holidays to all of you who celebrate them!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if that was too OOC, this is my first fic. Comments and criticisms are welcome, even if you hated it!


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